


The Princess, The Thief, and The Alchemist

by Kamije_Celeek



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Adopted Max, Camp camp au, Disenchantment AU, Eventual Makki, F/M, Fantasy AU, Friendship, Gen, Gwen and David are married, Jasper is alive, Lizzie is their daughter, M/M, Max the Thief, Neil the Alchemist, On the Run, Other, Princess Nikki, dadvid, gwenmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-06-29 23:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamije_Celeek/pseuds/Kamije_Celeek
Summary: We all know how fairy tales go.  The princess marries a prince and lives happily ever after.  The well-meaning thief finds his prize, provides for his supportive family, and lives happily ever after.  The alchemist finds the Elixir of Life, becomes famous, and lives happily ever after.However, none of those are true here.Princess Nicolette wasn't ready to get married, so she ran away from the chapel on her wedding day.  Max was a thief looking to make a score that would set his family up for life.  Neil was simply the Royal Alchemist, seeking the things all alchemists did.These three very different people all come together on one fateful day.  All of them are looking for something.  All of them are prepared to go find it.  But none of them are ready for the adventures to come.  In a world full of magic, danger, and the ever-relentless guards hunting them down, how far can they get?  Nikki, Max, and Neil are about to turn this fairy tale on its head and show that your birth doesn't define your life.  It's the people you choose to spend it with.Based on the series "Disenchantment" by Matt Groening.





	1. Once Upon a Time...

_Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a princess. She was beautiful and beloved by all who knew her. Never once did she disobey her parents and married her true love at the age of sixteen right after meeting him for the first time. Quiet and demure, she lived out the rest of her days as the queen of another kingdom, married to the king and being mother to every child she bore him. And she lived happily ever after._

Nope. That's not right.

_Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a thief. He was the son of a minstrel and a writer, though not their child by blood. He was tired of his life on the road and longed for a life of comfort and stability. One night, he broke into the castle of the king and stole the princess's tiara, which he sold in another land. He bought a manor for himself and his adoptive parents and became a wealthy lord, living happily ever after._

Dude, that's not right either.

_Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived an alchemist. He was quite wise and good at his job, serving the king dutifully and without question. Never did a day go by when he tired of his search for the Elixir of Life to make his king immortal. And one day, he discovered the secret. He made the Elixir and gave it to his king, who ruled the kingdom forever after. The alchemist was remembered as a hero and lived happily ever after._

For fuck's—why the fuck are you writing this shit?! Are you  _trying_ to put the audience to sleep?! This is the modern age! Nobody wants a cut-and-dry story without twists and turns! Nobody wants a goody-two-shoes princess who never does anything wrong! Nobody wants a thief to just  _get_  what he wants! Nobody wants anybody to get the fucking  _Elixir of Life_! Are you insane?!

_Well, if_ **you're** _such an expert, Kamije, why don't you take over?_

Well, I  _have_  been writing stories for years. I'm sure I can make  _something_  the people will enjoy more than your antiquated bullshit.

_Says the woman who's still a Disney fangirl at the age of eighteen._

Shut the fuck up.

_You were_ **literally** _watching the season finale of_ Ducktales _earlier while eating pizza and regretting your life choices._

Dude, I can do this.

_Fine, if you think you can. Just know that nobody will enjoy it. You said it yourself: nobody wants a cut-and-dry story without twists and turns._

Oh,  _I've_  got twists and turns, sir. In case you forgot.

_Good luck, sweetie. You're gonna need it._

I don't  _need_  luck. I make my own luck. With a luck machine.

_Okay, now you're just quoting indie games._

Get out! I've got a quill in one hand and a parchment in the other, and if you don't leave, I'll shove my booted foot up your ass to kick you out myself.

_Fine, fine. See you later. Enjoy catering to the mindless masses._

Fuck you.

Now that that's taken care of, let's get on with our story, shall we?

Our story  _does_  begin once upon a time, in a land far away. It begins in the land of Lilac, which was well known for its history and wealth. A beautiful land, ruled by Queen Candy in the stead of her late husband, King William. She was beloved by her people and all who knew her, and she expected her precious daughter, Princess Nicolette, to follow in her footsteps.

Too bad Nicolette—who preferred to be called 'Nikki'—didn't want to follow the rules…

* * *

"Your Highness, good morning!"

Nikki groaned as her maid, Lucy, opened the curtains. Lucy smiled at her mistress widely and curtsied politely.

"It's a big day, Your Highness! Everybody's waiting for you down in the dining room!"

"Let me sleep a few more minutes…" Nikki grumbled.

"Her Majesty sent me to get you. I-it's time for breakfast."

"Fine." Nikki got out of bed and saw Lucy holding a red dress.

"Here's your new dress—made from the finest silks of Flora."

"Great." Lucy helped her mistress put the damn thing on and didn't bother with the corset; after all, Princess Nicolette had inherited her mother's naturally slim-waisted frame and large… never mind.

"Here we go, Your Highness."

Nikki sighed and headed down the stairs. Servants and guards alike lined the corridor, all wishing her good morning.

"Morning, Your Highness!"

"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

"That dress looks amazing."

"You've grown up fast."

"Your mother is waiting for you."

"Have a good day."

Nikki entered the large dining room and sat down at the table, next to her mother, as usual. Queen Candy was busily going through some papers and signing where she needed to, all while eating her breakfast and drinking her morning wine.

"Mornin', Nicolette," she greeted her daughter, looking up and setting down her pen. "You look  _beautiful_  today."

"Thanks, Mom." Nikki began picking at her food. "Anything  _else_  noteworthy about today? Like… maybe the anniversary of one of your greatest accomplishments?" Candy gasped and put down her fork.

"Oh, God! I'm sorry, honey." Nikki's hopes rose. "That's right! Your weddin' is today! I can't believe I forgot! No  _wonder_ the servants have been so busy!"

"No, Mom, it's my birthday… too."

"Oh, happy birthday." Candy didn't sound  _nearly_  as enthusiastic. "But remember: Prince Edward will be here before you know it to marry you. Your maids will help you get ready, so hurry and finish eating. But not too much—you can't be chubby for the portrait!"

Nikki rolled her eyes and picked at her food some more before pushing her plate away.

"I'll see you at the wedding, I guess. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, sweetheart."

Nikki headed up to her room, where she looked at the wedding dress Lucy had set up and sighed. This was real. Her freedom was about to come to an end, just because she was the princess and her mother wanted an alliance.

Shit.

* * *

In Lilac, it wasn't just princesses who had shitty lives. Our next main player is a thief, named simply Max. Like the master said before, he was the son of a minstrel—named David—and a writer, named Gwen, though not their child by blood. Nobody in their little caravan was related by blood, save for the young daughter of the minstrel and writer, who was named Elizabeth. Well, besides those four, there were two other men and a platypus. Yes, a platypus. Her name was Muack (named by Lizzie a couple years earlier) and she was good at attracting attention—which worked well for Max when he wanted to pick pockets. Everybody was so distracted that they weren't keeping an eye on their wallets.

"Well, today's the day!" David announced to the caravan. "It's the royal wedding of the Princess of Lilac and the Prince of Woodland."

"Great," sighed Max, stabbing his dagger into the tree stump he was sitting on.

"Aw, c'mon, Max."

"Davey,  _please_  shut up," groaned Cameron Campbell, the leader of the caravan. "I have a hangover."

"What's a hangover?" Lizzie asked Gwen.

"It's something that happens when adults drink too much of the stuff I told you not to."

"We're going to entertain the guests as they arrive," David continued. "We all know our jobs, so let's get started!"

"Yay!" Lizzie attached herself to David's leg and he couldn't help but smile even more widely at the four-year-old.

Max sighed again, watching his adoptive father and his little sister go off. Gwen followed them—undoubtedly to detach Lizzie from David's leg. It was just Max, Campbell, and Jaspar.

"Do you  _know_  how much royalty is coming to this thing?" Campbell asked the three.

"Every family with more than a thousand coins to their name?" Max deadpanned.

" _Exactly_! And  _you're_  going to rob them!"

"Nah, I had my own idea."

"This isn't a good idea," Jaspar warned. "Davey doesn't like you stealing as much as you do."

"Well, his 'minstrel' business and Gwen's writing make us  _jack shit_.  _I'm_  the one who's risking my neck so none of us go hungry."

"What's your idea?" Cameron inquired, pushing Jaspar aside.

"Here's what I'm thinking: I steal just  _one thing_  today, and that  _one thing_  will allow us to get out of here, once and for all, and start new lives as rich people."

"I like it. Simple, yet classy. What  _are_  you going to steal?"

"The princess's crown."

"B-but she'll be wearing it!" protested Jaspar.

"Duh. I steal it after the wedding, when she and her prince go to bed."

"This  _really_  isn't a good idea. You're  _good_ , Max, but  _nobody's_  that good."

"Watch me." Max pulled his dagger out of the stump and stood up. "Well, I'll see you guys tonight. I've got to stake out the church."

"Take the platypus," urged Campbell, picking up the creature by the tail.

"Nah, Lizzie will want her. Bye."

Max headed off towards town, slipping his dagger into its sheath as he went.

* * *

There's one more player in our story—an alchemist by the name of Neil. He was the son of the royal philosopher and considered a prodigy by all who knew him. Currently, he was busily experimenting with different mixtures, trying to create the elusive and legendary Elixir of Life. It would grant immortality to the drinker and bring Neil himself everlasting fame if he was successful. However, there was a slight hiccup with his work. And that hiccup was a childhood friend, a friend who would often invade his space to ask him questions and distract him from his never-ending (and, honestly, futile) quest.

And this friend was Princess Nicolette.

"Neil!"

He nearly dropped the vial of tonic he was holding as the door slammed into the wall.

"Nikki! Goddammit, I'm trying to work here!"

"I need a potion made," she stated, ignoring his objection.

"What… kind of potion?"

"Sleeping potion. Something to make me sleep until the end of the day. There's  _no way_  I can marry the Prince of Woodland, Edward Pikeman." She sat down on the stool by his workbench and crossed her arms.

"Nikki, I want to help you, but unfortunately, I'm the only alchemist in the kingdom who can make a potion like that. They'd  _immediately_  know who did it and I'd go to the dungeon for the rest of my life! I'm not risking my neck so  _you_  can avoid work!"

" _Work_?!"

"Yes! Being princess is your job, and it's unfortunate that your job requires you to marry a stranger, but there's no way around it. I'm sorry that you're not happy." Suddenly, something occurred to him. "Happy sixteenth, by the way."

"You know what's sad? You're the  _only_  person to wish me happy birthday without me reminding you that it's my birthday."

"Wow. Even your mom?"

"I  _tried_  to be subtle about it and tell her it was the anniversary of one of her greatest accomplishments, and she took that as me reminding her about the wedding."

"To be fair, this marriage was arranged ten years ago today. I'm sure it's been on her mind since then."

"I wish I could just leave…"

"And that would cause even more of a panic. You're kinda stuck."

"Well, time to go get ready. Are you coming to the wedding, at least?"

"I would, but I have a lot of work to do."

"You're not going to find the Elixir of Life. You might as well come see me sold off."

"All right. I'll get as much done as possible, then come to the wedding when I'm done."

* * *

Nikki took a deep breath as she sat in the bridal room in the church, waiting for her wedding ceremony to begin. Her heart was beating more quickly than usual from stress, anticipation, and anxiety. She just wanted to get this over with so that she could get on with the rest of her life. Maybe Prince Edward wouldn't be so bad as a husband. To try and calm her nerves, she peeked out the door to see her husband-to-be.

He had horrible pimples, with red hair and buck teeth. There was a sense of arrogance about him as he chuckled to his companions—a short man with an eyepatch and a taller man who was silent. Nikki shuddered in disgust as she retreated back into the room.

_This isn't happening. This isn't happening. You're back in bed. Any minute now, Lucy will wake you up and Mom will wish you happy birthday._

"Nicolette?"

Nikki looked up to see Candy in the doorway, wearing a pale blue dress that went well with her pale green hair. She had an expression of joy.

"You should be  _smilin'_ , darlin'. It's your weddin' day."

"I feel like I can't. I'm marrying a stranger and I'm only sixteen."

"Well, that's how I got your father, and look how I turned out."

"Oh." Nikki stared at her feet.

"Come on. Put on a smile and let's go out there. I'm givin' you away to your husband."

Nikki took Candy's hand and they walked out into the chapel as the music began. Everyone stood to view the bride, who was wearing her mother's wedding dress and looking just as beautiful. Her veil was over her face, so nobody could tell that she wanted to cry rather than smile. Edward smirked as she walked towards him, the ring in his palm and ready to go. Candy made a show of putting Nikki's hand into Edward's and he lifted the veil.

"You are  _quite lovely_ ," he told her. She wanted to gag as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Thank you."

The old priest began to ramble about how they were there in the eyes of God, about to become man and wife as well as a prince and princess. Nikki could feel her heart pounding, still wanting to bolt.

And her opportunity came in the form of a drunken man wandering into the chapel.

"This the bar?" he slurred, a strange duck-beaver creature at his side. A guard came forward and tried to apprehend him, but to no avail.

That was when he started punching people.

Chaos broke out and her husband-to-be dashed to defend her. Nikki took the opening to make her way over to a window. She ripped her veil off her tiara and wrapped around her fist, cushioning it as she punched the glass and it shattered. The princess glanced downward. It wasn't  _too_  long a fall.

She jumped.

* * *

Max could hear the chaos in the chapel and smirked. Campbell was a master of attracting attention when he wanted to be. He probably feigned being drunk and started punching people. All there was to do now was wait for somebody to escort the princess out and snatch the tiara. Easy.

Above him, he heard the faint sound of glass breaking. He covered his head with his arms as the shards fell a few feet away. Looking up, he saw a girl in a wedding dress judging the distance to the ground. Evidently, she'd decided she could make it, because she swung her legs over the sill. Max scooted over a bit right before she fell and she landed in his arms.

"Wow, thanks!" she told him breathlessly.

_The tiara!_

Before he could stop her, she stood upright and dusted off her dress.

"Gotta go before they notice I'm gone. This might be my only chance out of this. Thanks again for catching me."

"Your Highness!" a guard yelled out the window.

"Too late. God, where do I go?" Max thought for a second, then grabbed her hand.

"Let's go, Princess," he told her. She ran after him and they ran past a skinny guy with curly brown hair.

"Hi, Neil! Wedding's off!" she called.

"Goddammit, Nikki! And who the fuck is that?!"

"Don't know!"

Max felt like laughing. This was gonna be  _too easy_.

"There! He has the princess!"

"Shit," Max muttered. "Okay, Your Highness. Get ready."

"Ready for—oh, God!"

He lifted her over his shoulder and started running faster. The skinny guy (Neil, right?) was right beside him.

"Where are you taking her?" he panted.

"Out of town. Best place to go if you don't wanna be found."

"I'm faster than he is!" the princess protested.

"Not in the dress, Princess Nicolette."

"True. And don't call me Nicolette. Call me Nikki."

"Whatever,  _Your Highness_."

She let out a growl as Max took a few detours in order to outmaneuver the guards that were still on their tails. He wasn't sure why Neil was following them, but he decided to let the guy stay. Within minutes, they reached the edge of town and where Jaspar was waiting with Lizzie.

"Max!" Jaspar gasped, leaping to his feet. "W-who are these people?"

"No time. Get some of Gwen's clothes and get this girl in the wagon."

Jaspar nodded and did as he was told.

"So, who the f—" Max put a finger to Neil's lips and shook his head.

"Language around Lizzie," he instructed. Lizzie climbed up on a stump and leapt onto Max's back.

"Max is back!" she announced, clinging to him like a possum to a tree. She was one-hundred-percent David's daughter—from the red hair to the light skin to the happy attitude. The only thing she appeared to have inherited from her mother was her violet eyes, which sparkled just like her father's.

"Yeah, I'm back," he laughed. "Were you good for Jaspar?"

"Yep!"

"She takes after you," Jaspar sighed, coming out of the wagon. "The girl is getting dressed. I figured I should give her some privacy."

"Who  _are_  you guys?" Neil inquired.

"We're a band of traveling performers, here for the royal wedding," Max replied. "I'm Max, and this is my sister, Lizzie. The blonde guy is Jaspar. What about you?"

"I'm Neil, the royal alchemist. Any reason you decided to bring Nikki here?"

"It's a good place to hide. Campbell would know—once he escapes the guards."

"What did you guys do?!" Jaspar groaned.

"Campbell made a distraction by crashing the wedding with Muack and pretending to be drunk. The princess smashed a window, jumped out of it, and landed in my arms. I helped her escape."

"You're bringing the guard down on our heads for that?!"

"Sure. Why not? It's not like they can ever track me."

"Okay, fair. You're good at avoiding capture."

"Oh my gosh!"

David came stumbling towards them, Gwen right behind him.

"You aren't going to believe this! The princess is missing! She broke a window and jumped into the street, where a mysterious man kidnapped her! Oh, the poor girl…"

"If you ask me, she dodged a sword there," Gwen commented. "Did you  _see_  that Prince Edward kid? He gave me a once-over and looked like he wanted me."

"I wish you'd told me," David sighed.

"Thanks for the clothes, whoever you are," Nikki laughed, coming out of the wagon. Her hair had been loosened from its updo and was freely bouncing around her shoulders, the tiara nowhere to be found. Gwen's clothes were a little loose on her, but that didn't matter.

"No problem," Max told her. "I'm Max, by the way."

"I'm Lizzie!" Lizzie piped up, dropping off of Max's back and hugging Nikki around the legs. "And you're really pretty!"

"Aw, thank you, Lizzie."

"P-Princess Nicolette?!" David gasped before Gwen narrowed her eyes at Max.

"Lizzie, grown-up words," she said in a low voice. Lizzie let go of Nikki and plugged her ears.

"Go ahead," Max sighed.

"Max, what the  _fuck_  were you thinking?! I know you're a fucking thief, but  _kidnapping_?! You said that was too shitty for you! People are too  _valuable_  to steal, you said! Look what you've fucking done! You kidnapped the  _goddamn Princess of Lilac_ , on her  _fucking wedding day_! Do you have  _any_  idea how much deep  _shit_  we're going to be in because of you, you  _asshole_?!"

"You done?" Gwen took a deep breath.

"Yep."

"Then let  _me_  explain something to you. She jumped out a  _fucking window_  to avoid getting married. She was  _trying_  to get away. I  _helped_  her. You and David raised me to help people who needed it, and you're giving me shit about doing  _exactly what you raised me to do_?! Nope. Sorry, but that's not how this works!"

"Okay, fair enough." She tapped Lizzie's arm. "Mommy and Max are done yelling now."

"Okay, Mommy." Lizzie unplugged her ears and smiled up at her mom.

"Ma'am, I'm  _grateful_  to Max for helping me," Nikki told Gwen. "I don't want to get married yet. I just turned sixteen today."

"Happy birthday!" David and Lizzie sang in unison. Nikki laughed again.

"Like I said, I just turned sixteen. I'm not ready to get married or be a mother or rule a kingdom."

"That's fair," Gwen conceded. "But still, asking a thief to help you?"

"I didn't ask. He just did it."

"Oh. I see." Gwen smirked at her adopted son. "Well, I'm Gwen, Max's adoptive mother and Lizzie's birth mother. The man with the red hair is my husband, David."

"It's nice to meet you all. I hope you won't mind if I stay with you guys to hide for a while, at least until my mother calms down."

"Not at all!" David chirped. "We'll add you to our group, if you want!"

"I'll stay to keep you out of trouble," Neil offered to the princess.

"Thanks, Neil."

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Campbell yelled, running out of the kingdom with the platypus.

And thus begins the adventures of the Princess, the Thief, and the Alchemist.


	2. On the Road

"Good morning, Nikki!"

Nikki opened her eyes at the sound of Lizzie's happy voice. It was her first morning waking up outside the castle and she was excited to start the day. She sat up and saw Lizzie bouncing on her toes.

"What's got you so upbeat today?" she giggled.

"We're  _moving_! And I have a sister!"

"Gwen had another baby?"

"No,  _you_!" Lizzie's smile was too much for Nikki and the older girl grabbed the toddler in a hug.

"You are  _too cute_!"

A knock came at the door.

"Are you decent?" Max's voice called.

"Yes, Max!" Lizzie chirped. He came in, his already-messy, curly hair somehow even  _messier_  from sleep. Lizzie started giggling and went over to mess with his hair.

"Ah! Lizzie, what are the rules about my hair?"

"No touching without permission?"

"Good girl." He patted her head. "Gwen's got breakfast ready, so—"

"FOOD!"

Lizzie was out the door before Max could finish his sentence. The door banged shut behind her and Max laughed.

"She's adorable," Nikki commented.

"Yep. Hard to believe her parents raised me sometimes." He turned to face her. "Anyway, you'd better get out there. Lizzie's tiny, but she eats  _a lot_."

"Okay." He handed her a set of clothes.

"Wear these. We'll get you your own when we get to the next town."

"Thank you." She had a smile for him, but he just sighed and went back outside.

Nikki pulled on the tunic and leggings, along with the boots that Gwen had lent her the night before, and headed out. David and Jaspar were hitching horses to the two wagons the small caravan had, the sun just barely peeking over the horizon. Gwen was handing a bowl of oatmeal to her daughter, who quickly—and messily—began eating it. Max snickered and his sister threw a small handful of the stuff at him. Neil was looking exhausted and uncomfortable, the platypus staring at him from the ground.

"Good morning, Your Highness!" David yelped, bowing low at Nikki.

"I'm not the princess here," she told him, shaking her head. "I'm just Nikki. Treat me like a normal person."

"Yes, Your Highness." Nikki giggled.

"Hey, Nikki, come get breakfast before Lizzie eats it all," Gwen called. She handed the green-haired girl a bowl full of the same oatmeal that she'd given her children, which Nikki was grateful for.

It was bland and tasteless, but it was one of the best meals she'd ever eaten.

She was  _outside_  the castle. Lucy hadn't woken her up and dressed her in an uncomfortable silk gown. She hadn't had to go down to the dining room and eat a silent and nerve-wracking meal with her mother. She didn't have to go to etiquette lessons and be lectured by her tutor on her lack of manners. No, now she could be outside without a chaperone and just enjoy the world. Maybe she'd even begin earning her own money!

"I've never seen anybody so excited to eat oatmeal," Max snorted. "Except Lizzie."

"It's  _food_ ," Lizzie retorted.

"She really takes after David," commented Neil, leaning against a nearby tree.

"Except for her eyes and her sense of humor and sarcasm," Max added. "She got her eyes from her mom and the humor and sarcasm from me."

"You're not even related!"

"Hey, family's about who cares, not blood."

Nikki tilted her head in thought. That seemed… accurate. Her mother only cared about appearances and reputations. She'd never accept that Nikki had followed a thief and a gang of performers into a new life.

"Horses are hitched!" announced Cameron Campbell—a man she'd recognized as the same man who crashed her wedding drunk with the platypus in tow.

She owed him a thank-you.

Maybe she'd give him one of the earrings her mother had insisted she wear.

"Okay, kids, finish your breakfast and we'll get going," Gwen said. "And Lizzie,  _please_  stay in the wagon with Max this time. You aren't allowed to drive yet."

"Okay, Mommy."

"David and Jaspar will each be driving a wagon. Neil and Nikki, you ride with Campbell. Max and Lizzie, you're with me."

"Great," Max deadpanned, getting into the same wagon Nikki, Lizzie, David, and Gwen had slept in the night before. Nikki got into the other one, Neil reluctantly following her.

Within minutes, they were on the road.

* * *

Max could feel the wagon rocking as they made their way down the road. Lizzie was excitedly bouncing on the seat to a degree where if she'd been anybody else, he would've told her to sit the fuck down and knock that shit off. However, this was his little sister. As much as he hated to admit it (especially to David and Gwen), the little girl had him wrapped around her finger. He couldn't really tell her 'no' without feeling like an asshole. She was only four, so she had plenty of time to become an annoying sister, but until then, he'd be the doting big brother she saw him as.

"How long is Nikki gonna be with us?" Lizzie asked, looking up at Max with her big violet eyes. Gwen had decided to sit with David to help drive the wagon (and so she could have some alone time with her husband).

"I don't know, Lizard. Until her mom decides that Nikki can make her own decisions."

"Is she  _really_  the princess of Lilac?"

"Yep. She jumped out a window and I caught her."

"Oh! Like in that story Mommy told me?"

"What story?"

"In her story, there was a beautiful princess who was captured by a witch! The witch locked the princess in the tower and fed her bread crusts and water. Then a prince climbed the tower trying to rescue the princess, but she didn't like him so she pushed him out. A thief came by afterwards and the princess fell in love with him and escaped. They lived happily ever after. The end." She clapped her hands, applauding her 'A+' storytelling skills.

"Cute story, but that's probably not going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, she jumped out of the window of a church on her wedding day, not a tower. And she landed in my arms because I didn't want her to break her ankles on the cobblestones. That…  _feeling_ … hurts." He remembered to watch his language just before he slipped up. "I've done it a couple of times. It's painful. And she did it in heels and a dress."

Secretly, he was impressed that she'd managed to bust the window like she had without injuring herself. He had more than a few cuts on his hands from smashing windows over the years, cuts that had become scars over time from repeated offenses. Lizzie didn't know they were real, and she'd sometimes wrap his hands in bandages while playing at being a barber/doctor.

_Seriously_ , how the fuck hadn't she even  _bruised_  her knuckles from that shit?!

"Why did she run away from her wedding?"

"Because most of the time, kings and queens want princes and princesses to marry each other so they can get richer. Most of the time, the prince and princess getting married haven't even met, much less love each other."

"Mommy and Daddy love each other and they're married."

"Because they're not royalty like Princess Nicolette."

"Nikki," she corrected. "She wants to be called Nikki."

"Right. They're not royalty like Nikki. Be glad you're not. That means you don't have any expectations for who you have to be."

"Do  _you_?"

"Yep. I'm a thief, so people expect me to steal things. Like Princess Nicolette—I mean, Nikki's crown."

"Nikki's crown? The fancy triangle hat?"

"Yes, the fancy triangle hat." Max was laughing a bit. "It's actually worth a lot of money—enough so that I might never have to steal anything else."

"So you got the fancy triangle hat along with the princess?"

"Yep." He could tell that Lizzie's eyelids were getting heavy. The movement of the wagon always made her sleepy—the effects of being a four-year-old raised on the road. "You ready for your nap, kiddo?"

"Not sleepy." She puffed out her cheeks but then let out a yawn before lying her head on Max's lap.

"You sure?"

"I like Nikki, Max. She's pretty, and I want you to be happy with her."

"Okay, kid. Just get some sleep."

She was out like a candle within minutes of his suggestion. Her small chest rose and fell with each breath, but that was the only sound besides the tell-tale clip-clop of horse hooves and the rattling of the rickety wagon. He allowed himself to fall into memories of before Lizzie, before David and Gwen got married, before the caravan even really formed…

* * *

_"Mama? Papa?"_

_It was sad that his first recallable memory was that of looking for his birth parents. They'd dumped him in a forest clearing while he was asleep and left him there. He was five years old at the time, very young, impressionable, and fearful._

_"Where are you?"_

_His voice echoed in the empty forest. The only other sounds were that of frogs and birds. His feet crunched through the dead leaves on the ground, his heart beating almost too fast for his little body._

_"Stupid boy," he heard his father mutter. "Waste of fucking money."_

_"Now, dear, he could still fetch us a decent price on the market," his mother replied. "Anything's better than caring for him. He's young, strong, and with those looks, he'll be snatched up by some childless married couple in a heartbeat, don't you agree?"_

_"True."_

_Max stumbled backwards, his head and legs screaming for him to run. Unfortunately, they'd noticed him and his father lifted him up._

_"Stop fighting, you stupid boy," he snapped. "You little shit. You're going straight to the market. If you're lucky, some lady will take pity on your fucking pathetic self to be her son. Otherwise…"_

_His smile said that Max was going to have a hard time._

* * *

_He was seven years old now, running through the forest again. This time, he was running from his latest set of 'adoptive parents'. Really, they were just people who didn't want to work and only adopted kids to get easy money. They preferred beating and starving those kids to raising and loving them. The sad thing was that they were his ninth set in two years. Every time he ran away, he got caught by the child dealers and resold to a new 'family'. He'd begun acting out—fighting, swearing, even stealing to get by._

_"You little bastard!" he could hear one of the dealers screaming._

_Not this time._

_He wasn't going to get caught this fucking time._

_Suddenly, he ran into somebody. The force of the impact caused the little boy to fall on his ass and look up at who he'd crashed into—a man with light skin, red hair, and green eyes. The man smiled and offered him a hand, which Max declined in favor of hiding behind the guy._

_"Hey!" the dealer who'd been chasing him snapped as he came to a stop. "Brat, get over here."_

_"No fucking way!" Max yelled. The red-haired man looked from Max to the dealer and shook his head._

_"Chasing a child. Shame on you."_

_"_ **That** _ain't a child. That's a demon in human form. Given me trouble for two years. Hand him over and I'll take care of him. Make it worth your while."_

_Max began backing away, ready to bolt again. Nobody turned down a dealer's gold._

_"I don't think so," the red-haired man laughed. "You're a child dealer, right?"_

_"Damn right I am."_

_"So, you're willing to sell a child for a price. What if I bought him off you?"_

_"You a dealer, too?"_

_"Oh, heavens, no. I'm a minstrel."_

_"Then no."_

_"I think you misunderstood me. He doesn't want to go with you. You've been having problems with him. I'm willing to take him off your hands. How much?"_

_"Fifty."_

_"Done." The minstrel reached into his wallet and counted out fifty pieces of gold._

_"Enjoy the demon, sir." The dealer was cackling as he walked away._

_"What's your name, little guy?" the minstrel asked Max._

_"M-Max."_

_"Well, I'm David. It's nice to meet you, Max."_

_"What kind of work do you need me to do?"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"That's the only reason people buy from the dealers—to get workers that they don't have to pay and they can make fucking money off of."_

_"You looked like you needed a home and a friend. And watch your language."_

_"Suck a dick, Music Man."_

_David started laughing and Max knew this guy wasn't going to be like the others._

* * *

_Three months._

_Three months and David hadn't dumped Max back with the dealers yet. It was the longest Max had gone without visiting the people his birth parents had dumped him with and he was almost impressed with David for putting up with him this long._

_Almost._

_Currently, they were walking through a small village, where a crowd of people was gathered at the center. They were yelling and screaming at a young woman who was crouching in the middle of said crowd, protecting herself from whatever they threw at her._

_"HEY!" Max yelled, grabbing the attention of everyone. "The fuck do you think you're doing?!"_

_The woman began to crawl away from the crowd, nobody noticing as David helped her to her feet and ran out of the village with her._

_"We were about to stone that woman!" a man declared. "She's a_ **writer** _."_

_"Oh, gosh, how_ **terrible** _," Max replied sarcastically. "She's doing something with her life besides being a wife and a mother."_

_"She was neither." The man turned. "Hey! Where'd she go?!"_

_"Nice meeting you fuckers." Max walked out of the village as the angry mob began searching for their victim._

_He met up with David, who was trying to calm the woman down. She had dark skin and reddish-brown hair with violet eyes, which were wide with panic as she hyperventilated. David had a hand on her arm and was talking in a low, gentle voice, assuring her that she was safe now._

_"Thank you," she sighed once her panic attack had subsided. "They found my writings and burned them, saying that a woman shouldn't even be able to read."_

_"That's bullshit," Max snorted. "That's like saying kids shouldn't learn how to do that shit."_

_"Ha, thanks, kid. I'm Gwen, by the way."_

_"I'm David, and this is my son, Max."_

_Max felt his heart stop for a second._

**Son.**

_David had called him his son._

_He had a dad now, a real one._

_"I can't go back to that fucking place," Gwen muttered. "You two got room for one more?"_

_"Of course," David replied, smiling._

_Max, for the first time in years, felt hope that maybe he wouldn't be as fucked up as he thought._

* * *

And now, ten years later, he was still with David and Gwen. He didn't call them 'Mom' and 'Dad' very often, since he felt those titles had been tainted by his actual parents, but they served the roles to a degree that made him feel safe. Cameron, Jaspar, and Muack had joined shortly before Gwen and David had gotten married, and Lizzie had been born a couple years later. For the past four years, Max's circle of people he trusted had consisted of just four souls: David, Gwen, Jaspar, and Lizzie.

Now, with Nikki and Neil, he had the possibility to expand that circle.

* * *

Neil was going to  _scream_  if Campbell made another comment about Lilac's alcohol.

"…and you just  _dilute_   _it_  that much?! How stupid can you be?!"

"We want people to buy more, so we dilute it to make it last longer and so they'll buy more," Nikki explained, cheery.

Neil failed to see how that was possible.

"Nikki, could you keep the talking down? I'm trying to catch up on sleep that I missed while sleeping in a  _fucking wagon_  on a  _straw bed_."

"I thought it was comfy," Nikki replied with a grin.

"Yeah, well… you're you. You think everything that's  _not_  royal is the fucking best, when it's actually really shitty."

"Go to sleep, Neil."

The alchemist curled up in the corner, trying his best to do so, but he was shaken awake every time the wagon hit a bump in the road. He muttered to himself, wishing that the wedding had gone as planned.

_Why was Max even there? It makes no fucking sense for a thief to be standing outside the church… unless he_ **knew** _Nikki was going to try and run! How'd she meet him? No, wait, she didn't even know his name yesterday. He could've been an assassin for all we know!_

"Neil, you okay?"

He rolled over to see Nikki giving him a concerned look. Campbell had passed out on his seat, dead to the world around him.

"I'm just concerned that  _maybe_  we made the wrong choice in coming on this little trip."

" 'Little trip'? Neil, if I can, I'm going to  _avoid_  going back to the castle.  _Ever_."

"But  _why_?!"

" _Because_  I can't be what  _anybody_  wants me to be! I'm a terrible princess and I'd probably burn the kingdom to the ground on my first day as queen."

"Um… actually, that's probably true."

"Plus, this way, I can find out what I'm good at!"

The wagon came to a sudden and complete stop, sending Nikki to the floor and Campbell's head into the wall. He mumbled a few curses and went back to sleep. Neil took the opportunity to leave and see that they were set up outside a decently-sized town. Lizzie was bouncing as her father took an axe out of the wagon.

"You ready to help me get firewood, Lizzie?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she cheered. She ran on her little legs to keep up with the much-taller man and soon they were out of sight. Max dusted off his hands once he'd set the horses up to graze and Gwen had opened up the wagons to air out.

"You're all remarkably efficient," Neil commented.

"We have to be," Gwen sighed. "It helps keep us on the road. Most of us are outlaws—except for David and Lizzie, oddly enough."

"What did  _you_  do?"

"Refused to just be a wife and mother. Max and David got me out of there right before they stoned me to death."

"Wow." Neil raised his eyebrows. "What about Campbell and Jaspar?"

"Campbell's a con man. Jaspar was supposed to be hanged for killing a man, but it was in self-defense."

"And Max is a thief."

"He wasn't always one. He became one right after Lizzie was born to help us feed her."

"That's… sweet, actually."

"Tell me about it." Gwen smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, that shit's done," Max announced, cracking his knuckles. "I'm heading to town. Neil, you and Nikki wanna come?"

"Hell yeah!" Nikki called, running up. "What are we doing?"

"We're going to a pub."

"Don't get them drunk," Gwen warned. "And be responsible. You've got to set a better example for Lizzie than Campbell."

"I do that just by existing."

"True. Still, don't come back drunk."

"Yes, ma'am." Max rolled his eyes and they headed for town.

* * *

Nikki was bouncing-off-the-walls excited. She'd drunken alcohol before, but that had just been some wine at a dinner party or champagne at a wedding. She'd never had beer or mead or whatever it was that the less-wealthy drank.

"My first time in a bar!" she gasped to Max, jumping excitedly.

"Jesus, are you  _serious_?"

"Before yesterday, I'd barely been outside the castle."

"Oh, yeah. Sheltered kid."

"Pubs aren't  _that_  great," Neil scoffed.

"Says the guy who probably never tried to get wasted  _once_  in his life."

"Hey!"

"We're here. Welcome to the town of Sleepy Peak."

Nikki and Neil got a good look at the town. It was full of people, bustling around from place to place.

"This is also known as a den for thieves, kidnappers, and other criminals, so watch your back," Max warned. "Luckily, I've got a couple of friends in the pub here."

They walked up to a place called The Grumpy Butterfly, where Nikki could see a tough-looking guy drinking alone. He had a few tattoos that she could see, and that made her feel better about the whole thing. Max led them inside.

"Okay, Nerris," she heard a man say. "How about this one? A princess, a thief, and an alchemist walk into a bar…"

"Like them?" A dark-skinned woman in the robes of a sorceress pointed to Nikki, Max, and Neil.

"Yes."

"What happens next?"

"I don't know. It's never actually happened before." The man's face lit up as he got a look at the trio. "Max! Long time no see!"

"Harrison. Still doing shitty card tricks."

"They're not shitty."

"Yes, they are," the dark-skinned woman butted in.

"Nerris. How goes the spell-casting?"

"People are still trying to burn me at the stake, but not as much as Harrison."

"Well, this is Nikki and Neil. They just joined up with the caravan."

"That's odd," commented a man with golden eyes and dark brown hair. "It's been… four years since the latest member of your group joined up?"

"Since she was  _born_."

"How  _is_  Lizzie?" inquired a girl with long blonde hair and a berry-pink streak in it.

"She's fine. Adorable as hell."

"How'd you meet our buddy, Max, here?" the girl asked Nikki.

"I jumped out of a window and he caught me." Nikki shrugged as if this were an everyday occurrence. "After that, we just ran and he invited me and Neil to join them."

"That's cool. I'm—"

"Meredith!" called a man. "We need help back here!"

"Ugh. Duty calls. And it's Ered. Not Meredith." She walked into the back.

"Since we're here," Max told his buddies, old and new, "I thought I'd introduce them to a little Sleepy Peak ale."

"Good plan!" the tough guy in the corner called, getting up. "I'm Nurf, by the way," he added to Neil.

"Nice to meet you." Neil appeared extremely intimidated.

Max, on the other hand, headed over to a table, followed by Nikki. He pulled out a chair for her and pushed it in, surprising Neil.

"How gentlemanly of you," he commented, sitting down across from Nikki.

"David told me that just because I'm a thief, it doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman."

Within a couple minutes, the first round of drinks was brought to their table. Max picked up his tankard and lifted it up.

"To sticking it to the kingdoms and telling them to go fuck themselves!" he toasted.

Everyone else in the pub raised their tankards and cheered. Nikki cheered extra loud.

This was the best decision she'd ever made.


	3. Princess's First Hangover

Nikki decided she liked cheap alcohol.

It was bitter, foul-tasting liquid, but it had a certain kick to it that fine wine and champagne didn't have. Besides that, nobody seemed to care when she knocked over her tankard by accident. If she'd been at home, she would've been  _severely_  reprimanded by first her tutor, then her mother, for staining the fine white tablecloth with the dark red drink. Here, she just filled it back up and apologized, but nobody snapped at her for the mess.

"This stuff is gross," Neil hissed to her.

"I know," she replied. "Isn't it  _great_?"

"No! I'd rather be drinking fine wine right now than sitting in this stinking bar with a bunch of criminals."

"They're better than the stuffy nobles." Nikki chugged down a third serving, then felt her vision go blurry. "Besides, being here on the outside is better. No rules, no responsibilities, and no arranged marriages so Mom can get richer."

"Sounds like a shitty life," Max sighed. "And… you'd better stop for now."

"Why?"

"Because this is your first time drinking this shit and you've already had two refills. We already have Campbell as the resident drunk; we don't need you getting shit-faced. Also, there's a lot of people here. You never know what they're going to do to a girl like you."

"Plus, you have a smaller body than most of us here," Neil pointed out. "It takes a lot less to get you drunk."

"Whatever." She stood up. "I'm getting one more."

She headed over to the bar and a man with pale brown hair was sitting there.

"Pay for your drink?" he asked her, smirking.

"What do you mean?" she replied, tilting her head.

"I mean, I'll buy you a drink. Anything you want."

"Just more beer, then, please." He seemed nice. He called the bartender over, who gave Nikki her fourth beer of the night. She drank it down and the man smiled again.

"So, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"Escaping my mother," she told him bluntly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you." His hand moved to her thigh and alarm bells started going off in her head. But he was so nice! "I'm Jason. And you are?" He squeezed and she felt the need to go.

"Nikki." She tried to move away, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Leaving already? But we were just getting to know—"

He was cut off as a sun-shade hand punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor. She looked up to see Max standing there, his hand still in a fist as he glared at the man before him.

"Hey, buddy, watch yourself!" he snapped. Jason narrowed his eyes.

"The lady and I were just talking."

"Uh-huh. And I'm a fucking prince. I saw you grab her. I'm not a moron like you."

"And who are  _you_  to judge me, thief?!" Jason stood up. He was a good six inches taller than Max, who was at least five-foot-ten. "You're the scum of society, not even fit to lick my boots."

"Better a thief than a fucking  _rapist_  and pervert." Max's minty eyes, normally filled with disdain, were now full of anger.

"Ha! I know who you are, Max. And I know that no woman would ever stand by you, no matter how many times you defended—"

Suddenly, a fist went flying into his face, again knocking him on his ass. This time, it was Nikki who had thrown a punch.

"I guess I'm no woman, then," she chuckled.

"Hey, Millers!" Max called. The two owners stuck their heads in. "Escort this guy out. He's a little… touchy."

"Thanks." The two older men came out and dragged Jason out by the clothes. Nikki let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Max." She felt a little woozy all of a sudden. He gripped her upper arms, keeping her upright.

"Nikki, did that guy buy you a drink?"

"Yeah…" His face was blurry. Why was his face blurry?

"Shit. Try to stay awake."

His voice sounded so far away, and she was so sleepy.

"Nikki, stay awake. Don't fall asleep."

"He was nice about it," she slurred. "He gave me a beer."

"Yeah, and he put some shit in it that he wasn't supposed to. Nikki, please stay awake."

Sleep sounded nice, though. Nikki let herself slump over, but Max shook her.

"No. No. Don't fall asleep. That's bad. You hear me? Stay the fuck awake."

"I wanna sleep."

"You can sleep when we get back."

His voice was echoing again as the world seemed to be underwater. How did she get underwater? Last time she checked, she was in a pub in Sleepy Peak. And why was Max so freaked out all of a sudden? Oh, and there was Neil. He was just as freaked out, calling for her not to fall asleep.

Sleep sounded so good, though.

The world around her went black.

* * *

"Nikki!" Max shook the now-unconscious girl and she slumped over onto his chest. "Dammit!"

"What happened?!" Neil asked.

"That fucker did something to her drink. I don't know what, but it was probably something to at least knock her out for a few hours."

"Why?!"

"You're  _that_  naïve?" Max picked Nikki up bridal-style. "Why do guys drug drinks?"

"To kill people. That's what happened to King William."

"Not out here. More often, it's so they can…" His voice trailed off and Neil got his meaning.

"Wait, seriously?! He wanted to do that to her?!"

"Yep." He handed some pieces of gold to Ered, who accepted it with a worried look. "And now we have to get her back to the caravan before something else bad happens."

"Okay." Neil seemed very nervous, but he followed Max out the door.

Going through the streets carrying an unconscious body rarely raised eyebrows in Sleepy Peak. It was normal for the area—whether it be a sibling blacked out from alcohol, a victim of disease, or somebody who hurt themselves badly. This was no exception, and most of the people knew Max as a decent guy. Especially for a thief. They simply waved to him as he passed and he gave them a shrug. Neil found it odd but didn't say anything.

They reached the caravan within minutes. Lizzie was already asleep, but the other adults (save for Cameron Campbell the Chronic Drunk) were sitting around the dying fire. David was working on his music, Gwen was writing, and Jaspar was tending the flames. It was Gwen who spotted the teenagers first and immediately jumped to her feet.

"Maximillian, what the fuck happened?!" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Some asshole spiked her drink with something," he replied. "I clocked the guy in the face, but it was too late."

"Let me take a look at her," David urged. Max laid Nikki on the ground gently and David began feeling her neck. "Well, her heart's still beating strong. It was probably just a strong drug."

"Yeah, I figured, but the damage was done."

"Fucker," Gwen muttered.

"Hey, she got in a hit, too, before the drugs kicked in."

"Good girl." Gwen put a hand on Nikki's forehead. "She's got a fever."

"Considering she had four beers, I was amazed she didn't pass out sooner."

"Queen Candy has a famously-high alcohol tolerance," Neil spoke up. "My guess is that Nikki inherited that."

"I agree," Jaspar stated. "Let's get her inside so she can sleep."

"I'll take her," Max volunteered, picking her up again. He brought her into the wagon where Lizzie was asleep and put her on the straw bed that had once belonged to him. That was before he'd reached sixteen and Gwen had asked him to move into the other wagon.

"Max?" Lizzie mumbled in her sleep.

"I'm right here, Lizard," he whispered, going over and giving his sister a kiss on the forehead. "Good night."

"Night." She snuggled back down and Max glanced over at Nikki. She'd settled in the bed and was curled up like she hadn't been drugged by a rapist less than an hour before. Max sighed and left the wagon.

"Thanks for getting her out of there," Neil told Max as the curly-haired man sat down. "I couldn't have done it. How'd you even notice she was in trouble?"

"Simple. She's an attractive girl getting drunk in a pub who had a stranger start talking to her. I went over the second he put his hand on her thigh because I know where his mind was going. It wasn't a good place."

"Motherfucker. What a bastard."

"I know."

"…did you just call her attractive?"

"What? I'm not blind. I know when somebody looks sexy without trying."

"It's just…"

"Watch it. I'm not going there with her. Especially since she just broke off an engagement."

"Well, technically—"

"Nope. There's no other way to phrase it. She dumped her fiancé's ass and left him at the altar." He took his canteen off his hip and sipped some water. "So, how are you so close to Her Highness?"

"Me? Oh, well, my father's the royal philosopher and I'm the royal alchemist. Nikki and I grew up together and we've always been close friends. Almost like brother and sister." He frowned. "I've been meaning to ask… why were you outside the church yesterday?"

"You really want to know?" Neil nodded. "I was going to steal Nikki's crown after the ceremony."

"Really?"

"Yep. Campbell went in to cause a distraction so somebody would escort the princess out and I could grab the tiara while they were running. Then Nikki smashed the window and I just wanted to keep her from busting her ankles when I caught her."

"You're kind of selfish."

"I wanted to sell the crown so I could give us a permanent home and not have to steal again."

"Oh. That's a  _lot_  less selfish."

"Thank you for your input." Max stood up and stretched. "Well, good night."

* * *

Candy let out a sigh as the captain of the guard reported that they'd had no luck finding the princess, her kidnapper, or the royal alchemist. To top it off, the man who had interrupted the wedding was also nowhere to be found. The strange creature that had accompanied him had vanished into thin air.

"I'm sorry about all this," she told Prince Edward. "I just keep worryin' about my little angel, with that monster who kidnapped her."

"It's understandable, Your Majesty. Your daughter is your only family member left. Of course you would worry about her."

"I just wish we had  _some way_  to track her down."

"Might I make a suggestion, Your Majesty?" asked Snake, one of Edward's companions.

"Yes, of course."

"Why not send someone to stake out Sleepy Peak? It's a den of thieves, murderers, and all sorts of criminals. The kidnapper would eventually have to go through there, with the princess in tow."

"That's a great idea. The only question is, who do I send?" Captain Baker (the head of the guards) cleared his throat. "Yes, Captain Baker?"

"I'd like to put my stepdaughter forth as a candidate," he stated. "She's smart, agile, and strong, and I have no doubt she'd be able to charm the kidnapper into revealing what he did with the princess."

"Your stepdaughter?"

"Rosemary."

"What can she do?"

"My proposal is that we send her to Sleepy Peak undercover and have her discover whatever information on the kidnapper she can—his whereabouts, his habits, what he did with the princess. Anything that could help us locate and capture him."

"That seems like the best course of action," Edward advised the queen.

"Bring her in!" Queen Candy declared.

Within minutes, a girl with long, dark brown hair and tanned skin was brought before the queen. Her green eyes scanned the room, taking into account all possible exits and whoever might try to attack her. She then curtsied, her simple clothes telling of her status as stepdaughter to the captain of the guard.

"Your Majesty," she greeted the woman on the throne. "Why have you summoned me?"

"I have a job for you, Rosemary," the queen replied. "What do you know of Sleepy Peak?"

"It's a devil's nest, Your Majesty. An absolute cesspool of crime and criminals. A haven for them."

"I want you to infiltrate it." Rosemary looked up.

"Pardon, Your Majesty?"

"I want you to go there and keep an eye out for my daughter and the man who kidnapped her. Find out what you can. Whatever you can to bring him to justice."

"When would you like me to leave?"

"Tomorrow, if possible. We want the princess brought home safely."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Rosemary curtsied again. "I'll try my best not to let you down."

* * *

Nikki let out a groan as she came to. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt like it was full of cotton. She looked around and realized she was back in the wagon. And it was moving already.

_What happened last night?_

She vaguely remembered somebody buying her a drink… then he put his hand on her thigh… then Max punched him and called him a rapist. But beyond that, everything else was too fuzzy to recognize. She groaned and held her head.

"You're awake," Max stated. He was sitting across from her, Lizzie nowhere to be seen.

"What happened? Where's your sister?"

"You got drugged. And Lizzie's riding with Campbell and Neil today. Gwen said you and I needed to be alone for a while."

"Oh. Wait, how did I get drugged? The last thing I remember even  _semi_ -clearly is you calling that guy a rapist."

"And I was right. He put something in your drink that was supposed to knock you out so he could take you somewhere and fuck you." His blunt statement made her blush furiously in relief and embarrassment.

"Oh, God… thank you for punching him, then."

"You punched him after I did." Max smirked. "Knocked him flat on his perverted ass."

"I did? Cool!" Her eyes lit up with excitement. "I've never punched anything except a window!"

"And how'd you break it without cutting your hand?"

"I ripped the veil off my crown and wrapped my hand in it first."

"To cushion the blow!" Max slapped his forehead. "Of course. That sounds better than punching it with your bare hands."

Nikki looked at his hands and saw they were covered in scars.

"Is that what happened to you?"

"Only a few of them, actually. The rest are from those bastards known as the 'child dealers'."

"Child dealers? I've never heard of them."

"They're a group that finds unwanted kids—often buying them from the parents—and sells them to people who want cheap workers. It's rare for one of those kids to actually find a family."

"You were one of them?"

"Hell no. My parents sold me off when I was four and I was in their system for three years. I tried escaping, and it didn't work until I ran into David. He paid the guy chasing me and that was it. I haven't gone back since."

"Wow… there are  _really_  people like that, who will just sell kids?"

"They're shitty people, but yeah, they exist." Max let out a sigh. "It's why we have someone with Lizzie at all times. Even though they usually  _buy_  the kids, they're not above kidnapping to get a really young one. Fucking assholes."

"That's awful."

"I know."

"If… if I have to go back and become queen, the first thing I'm doing is launching a hunt for those people and locking them up." Max stared at her. "What?"

"That's… a good idea."

"It's not right for the kids to just be sold like that. They're human beings, not objects." Max looked out the window.

"I couldn't agree more."

Nikki fell silent for a few minutes, then bit her lip.

"Why did you catch me?"

"Because you would've broken your ankles when you hit the cobblestones. That shit fucking  _hurts_. Then the guards were after you, and I knew you wouldn't be able to get anywhere fast, so I brought you with me."

"You were outside the church for a reason."

"Your crown."

"What?"

"I was going to steal it. I was going to steal your crown and sell it so my family could be stable for the rest of our lives."

Nikki blinked.

_That's… really sweet, actually._

"Well, the crown is a family heirloom," Nikki explained with a sigh. "It kind of needs to stay in the kingdom. I'm sending it back to my mother, along with my wedding dress, once we reach the next town. I was going to do it in Sleepy Peak, but then stuff happened."

"Shit."

"Hey. The only stuff I'm sending back is the dress and the crown. Everything else was brand new, bought  _specifically_  for the wedding.  _That_ stuff, you guys can sell."

"Thanks."

"I'm going to give Cameron my earrings, though. He's the only reason I was able to get out of there."

"He'll be grateful."

* * *

"We've stopped." Max tapped Nikki, who had fallen back asleep after their conversation. He guessed she was sleeping off the hangover  _and_  the drugs. She mumbled something and opened her magenta eyes. They had a half-lidded look that made Max stiffen as she sat up.

"We have?" she asked.

"Yeah. We're a couple days away from our next destination, so we have to make camp for the night."

"Sorry I've been so useless."

"You're new to this whole thing. You'll get the hang of it." He headed out the door. "Gwen made stew. You should eat."

He stepped onto the ground and took a deep breath before heading over to the campfire. Campbell was talking Neil's ear off about some scheme he'd performed during his glory days as a con man in Lilac, back before Nikki and Neil had even been born. Jaspar was checking the map for their next destination. Gwen was working on her writing. David was trying to keep Lizzie from making too much of a mess with her stew.

"How's Nikki?" Neil inquired, glad to leave Campbell's story at a dramatic cliffhanger.

"She's awake now," Max told him. "I think it's pretty much worked its way out of her at this point."

"Good. So she's okay?"

"What happened to Nikki?" Lizzie asked worriedly.

"Somebody tried to do something bad to her," Gwen explained to her daughter. "Max stopped them, and now Nikki's okay."

Nikki emerged from the wagon, her hair messier than usual as she sat down and accepted the stew from Gwen.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"Are you okay?" Lizzie inquired.

"I'm fine, Lizzie. Just a little sleepy."

"Yay!" Max shrugged and went back to his own meal. "Max saved you from the bad guy, right?"

"Yeah."

"So you're the princess, and he's your knight in shining armor!"

Max choked on his stew, coughing and spluttering while Lizzie giggled.

"What makes you think he's a knight?" Nikki asked the little girl.

"Well, in stories, the knight always saves his princess from the bad guys! And he's not  _a_  knight. He's  _your_  knight."

"A very important distinction," Neil added.

"Neil, stay out of this," Max warned, holding up his spoon threateningly.

"I'm just saying she makes a fair point."

"He's not wrong," Gwen agreed.

"I'm going to go for a walk," Max sighed, getting up. "Lizzie, you can have the rest of my stew."

"Yay!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick notes since this is the third chapter and I haven't had any yet.
> 
> This story was inspired by the series "Disenchantment" on Netflix. It's a good series, so watch it if you have the chance.
> 
> The scene with Max punching Jason was important. Jason will be an antagonist later, so we needed to set up conflict.
> 
> You might have noticed that I added in a familiar face if you've read any of my other Camp Camp stories. Rosemary was a prominent character in "The Final Bell" and is the main character of "Horror Camp". She will also be in "School of Rock", "Max the Wood Scout", and "Max and the Mystery of Sleepy Peak Lodge" as a minor character.
> 
> And finally, I'd love to see some art for this AU. Specifically, I need a cover for the Fanfiction edition of this story. I'll credit you and everything. You can send any art for this AU to me on Tumblr. I have the same name there that I do here.
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	4. Learning to Fight

Max was going to murder a child today.

He'd just finished up grabbing some essentials that Gwen had asked him to pick up in town. When she'd made the request, Lizzie had demanded to be allowed to go with him, which he'd reluctantly agreed to. Nikki and Neil had gone off with David and Jaspar to learn a few essentials of survival, Gwen had to work on her writing, and nobody knew or cared where Campbell had gone off to. So it was up to Max to keep an eye on Lizzie.

And she'd wandered off right after he'd finished the shopping.

"Lizzie!" he called. "Come back! It's time to go home."

He walked through the crowd, keeping his eye out for his sister's distinctive red hair and the tell-tale garb of the child dealers. All around him, people were going about their day-to-day business and nobody would've been paying attention to a small, red-headed girl running through the market. At last, he caught sight of the little girl, playing with a stray kitten she'd found.

"Liz," he sighed. "We've got to go home now."

"Okay." She stood up and dusted off her skirt before taking his hand. The two began walking towards the gates, Max keeping a careful grip on her to keep her from running away. They got a few looks; after all, they didn't look alike in any way, shape, or form, so that was normal for the two of them.

"Excuse me, young man," a woman said haughtily. She had a face of disgust. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm taking my sister home," he replied, not having time for her bullshit.

"Your sister?" The woman looked Lizzie up and down. "There's no way she's your sister. She's too young and you don't look anything alike."

"It's called 'adoption'. Her parents adopted me when I was little, and she's only four. Now, if you'll excuse me, we have to get home."

He tried to sidestep her, but she wasn't letting it go.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I have no patience for child dealers."

In unison, Max and Lizzie raised their right hands and flipped the lady off. She let out an 'ugh!' and walked away, very clearly offended.

But neither of them gave a fuck.

The siblings headed out of town and back to the campsite, where Gwen was finishing up her latest piece. She looked up to see Max with an annoyed expression—one that was matched by Lizzie.

"Some lady say you're not siblings because you don't look alike?" she asked.

"Yep," they replied simultaneously.

"People are so stupid about this. Just because the kids don't look alike doesn't mean they're not siblings."

"She called Max a child dealer!" Lizzie piped up.

"Of course she did. What did she look like? Mommy's going to go slap her."

"But Daddy says violence never solves anything!"

"That's because your daddy is a peaceful person. Mommy is not."

"Gwen, hate to say it, but we kinda flipped her off at the same time," Max stated.

"Oh, good! Lizzie's learning how to deal with stupid people without causing a scene."

"Says the woman who was about to go slap somebody."

"Eh. Fair enough."

"We're back!"

Nikki entered the campsite with a happy expression and a spring in her step. David, Jaspar, and Neil weren't far behind her. She'd settled into living with the group after a month on the road.

"How was survival training?" Gwen inquired.

"It went  _great_!" David replied cheerfully.

"Except none of us can fight and Nikki needs to know how to defend herself," Jaspar added. "I was hoping you or Max could teach her."

"Why not Campbell?" Neil wondered aloud.

"There's no way in hell we're leaving him alone with a sixteen-year-old girl," Gwen bluntly pointed out. "It's me or Max, and I'm leaning more towards him."

"Yeah! Pick Max, Nik-Nik!" cheered Lizzie.

"Hey, who said I'll do it?" Max spoke up.

"It's either teach her to defend herself or watch her be killed or worse," Gwen sighed. "Which is your choice?"

"Fine." Max took a swig from his canteen. "We start bright and early tomorrow. I'll bring what you need. Be prepared to work out."

"Yes, sir." Nikki gave him a mock salute and he chuckled.

* * *

"We'll start with basic punching and kicking."

Nikki let out a yawn.

_I didn't think he meant 'as soon as there was visible sunlight' when he said, 'bright and early'._

"Nikki, are you paying attention?"

Max's voice snapped her back to reality.

"Yeah! I am! I was just… sleepy."

"You and me both, but this early is the best time to do this shit. There's not a ton of light in your eyes or heat to melt your bones. Now,  _focus_." He showed her the proper stance. "Try and hit me."

"What?!"

"Hit me."

She swung her fist and he blocked it with ease.

"Try not to be predictable in your movements. The element of surprise is your best friend in a fight. Go again."

Nikki swung her right fist towards Max's face, but then kicked him in the torso with her left foot. He managed to block the punch but not the kick, which sent him to the ground.

"Oh, God! Sorry, Max!"

"No, that was good," he coughed, sitting up. "You've got a lot of strength in your legs."

"Years of wearing heels, I guess. Really builds the calf muscles."

"I'm tempted to agree. Let's work on blocking."

Nikki nodded. For the next hour, they worked on punching, kicking, and blocking—all of which Nikki picked up on quickly. Once that was done, Max handed her two small objects. One was slightly bigger than the other.

"What's this?"

"A knife and a dagger. Keep them on you. I put the dagger on my belt, but I keep my knife in my boot in case I need it. They're handy."

"Thank you for everything, Max."

"No problem. I took you away from everything you've ever known. It's only fair I help you protect yourself."

Nikki giggled and tucked her new knife into her boot. Max turned on his heel, heading back towards the campsite. Quickly, she caught up with him.

"So, what's the deal with the arranged marriage, if you don't mind me asking? Last time you talked about it, you were drunk, so I don't know much about the circumstances."

"It was put together on my sixth birthday, when my dad invited the king of Woodland to visit us for a while. He had a son, and Mom and Dad had me, so Mom suggested to the king that they make an arrangement. I'd marry Prince Edward on my sixteenth birthday, and in return, our kingdoms would help each other out—financially and militarily. And, you know, when I was six, I was  _all about_  the fairy tales. Princes, princesses, witches, talking animals… back then I was all for it. It meant I'd live happily ever after without having to go under some curse or being kidnapped. But then, I started getting older. Suddenly, everything I did was unladylike and reprehensible in the eyes of both my mother and every one of my tutors. It got even worse when I was ten and my dad died."

"You seemed pretty damn ladylike whenever we saw you in public back in Lilac."

"After my dad died, my mom sent me to Miss Priss's School for Young Ladies to learn how to be a proper princess. I passed with flying colors and went home, but I wasn't sold on the idea of a wedding anymore. I tried  _anything_  within my power to get it cancelled, but nothing worked. My sixteenth birthday arrived and I was in a wedding dress, about to marry a guy with red hair, buck teeth, and a ton of zits. And whose first look at me was at my chest."

"Okay, pervert. Not a good start to a marriage."

"Campbell crashed the wedding and I used it as an opportunity to escape." She shrugged. "You know the rest."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks for telling me. Now I know what you were running from."

"I'd never even met him before."

"Now, you see,  _that_ , to me, is the most fucked-up part of the whole 'arranged marriage' thing. For people who marry for love, it's 'the groom isn't allowed to see the bride on their wedding day until the ceremony'. For everyone else, it's 'you aren't allowed to see each other your entire lives until the ceremony'."

"What was David and Gwen's wedding like?"

"Small but classy. It was me, Campbell, Jaspar, them, and a priest."

"I bet Gwen was glad she got a daughter."

"The second David told her, 'it's a girl', she started crying tears of joy. But I think it was more relief that it was over."

"My tutors told me I was supposed to be a boy so I could inherit the throne. Now I'm supposed to hand it over to my husband and hope that  _I_  have a son."

"Again, that's fucked up. You're the only kid they had. Why can't you rule?"

"Because I'm a girl. My mom's only allowed to be queen because she had a husband first."

"I think you'd be a great queen, for what it's worth. Especially with this trip under your belt."

"Thanks." She gave him a smile and he gave her one right back.

Her heart was pounding and she didn't know why.

* * *

There weren't a lot of people Neil trusted—a side effect of growing up in the court of Lilac, which was riddled with spies and deceit. Until recently, he'd only trusted Nikki to keep his secrets and always have his back. Now there was a group of people he was growing to trust. Max was, ironically enough, the most trustworthy of them all. David was too happy for Neil's taste, Gwen was focused on raising her daughter, Jaspar seemed like a ghost, and Campbell… well, nobody trusted him, so Neil doing so would be considered odd. And of course, Lizzie was a child, so he didn't know if she actually understood the nuances of trust.

His life's work was about secrecy and experimentation.

This new life he was leading was testing both.

"How many kingdoms have you guys visited?" he inquired of Jaspar.

"We've visited at least a dozen," Jaspar replied. "We'll be avoiding Woodland on this trip, for safety reasons, but one of our next stops is the kingdom of Flora."

"Oh, no."

"What's wrong?"

"One of Princess Sasha's maids is infatuated with me. She's the reason I almost didn't attend Nikki's wedding."

"Well, then you stay at the camp, you big goof. You don't have to leave if you don't want to."

"Hey, we're back," Max called. He had a bruise forming on his cheek, which he was subtly trying to hide.

"I see Nikki's doing well with her training," Gwen commented.

"She just needed a little direction, that's all." Neil noticed Nikki was blushing.

_Nikki_ **never** _blushes._

"Max is a good teacher," she told Gwen. "He just tossed me in without any explanation."

"I'm a little nervous about him teaching Lizzie in the future, then."

"Is that you, Bella?" they heard Campbell slur behind the single-man wagon.

"Who's Bella?" Neil asked Gwen.

"I actually have no idea. Campbell only talks about her when he's too drunk to remember what he's saying. Which means he's too drunk to remember what he's saying right now." She face-palmed.

"Should I get the bucket?" Max asked.

"Yes, get the bucket. And fill it with stream water."

"Got it." Max walked off.

Neil was beginning to realize that everybody had something they weren't quite proud of in the past. And maybe it wasn't all crime, too.

* * *

"…and then…  _BAM_!" Lizzie threw her hands in the air. "The stupid prince fell on his butt. The princess then ran off with the thief and they lived happily ever after!"

Max smiled at his sister's antics. She'd insisted that while she was too old to be told bedtime stories anymore, she was plenty old enough to tell them to Max. He didn't see her logic, but he had no room to argue. Lizzie loved making up fairy tales.

"So, when do you think you'll go to sleep?"

"When Nikki gets here."

"Nikki's feeling sore right now. We had a pretty tough session today."

"Aw…" Lizzie pouted and puffed out her cheeks.

"Tell you what—you go to sleep and I'll have Nikki wake you up tomorrow before our session. That way, you can eat breakfast with her. Deal?"

"Deal!" Lizzie laid down immediately and curled up under her blanket. Max sighed and headed out to the fire, where Nikki was lying on her back.

"Hey, Nikki."

"Max, I'm dying."

"You are?"

"Yep. That's why I'm in so much pain."

"It's called a workout, princess. You're stretching muscles you've never really stretched before."

"Oh."

"Besides, you've got to wake Lizzie up tomorrow before we eat breakfast. It's the only way I could get her to sleep."

"Speaking of Lizzie, where are David and Gwen?"

"They're off with Jaspar, scouting ahead for when we leave in a couple days."

"Uh-huh." The tone of her voice said, 'I'm not Lizzie. I know they snuck off for some alone time.'

"Okay, yeah, they went off to fuck."

"That's better."

"You know, if you're that sore, I can get you some wet cloth for your muscles."

"Yes, please." He laughed and went to get what she needed. He spotted Campbell lying on the ground, passed out.

"Hey, Campbell," he sighed, kicking the guy in the leg. "Get up and sleep in the fucking wagon."

"Bella?" Campbell mumbled. "How are the twins?"

"They're fine. Now get up and get in the wagon."

"That's good." Campbell got up. "I'm gonna leave, Bella. I'm not good for you or Rosie or Joey."

"That's right, you stupid drunk."

"I'll see you again one day. When they're all grown up."

_Does Campbell… have a fucking family?_

Max shook that thought from his head and got the cloths Nikki needed. He went back and laid them on her arms and legs in the places where he knew she was hurting the most and she let out a hiss.

"That… feels weird. Like it's better, but worse at the same time."

"Get some sleep. We have training first thing tomorrow."

* * *

Nikki laid awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling of the wagon. Lizzie, Gwen, and David had all gone to sleep already, but she found herself feeling restless. And it wasn't just the fact that her body was sore from training, either; she had a lot on her mind lately.

It had been a solid  _month_  since she'd run from her wedding, and in that time, she'd had a lot of time to think about her status as a princess. True to her word, she'd sent her wedding dress and tiara home to her mother and given the jewelry to the rest of the caravan. They'd been endlessly grateful for her contribution. Still, whenever she saw a family begging on the street or a young child sleeping in a gutter, her heart would break a little bit.

_If I were queen, I could help them._

_But if I were queen, I never would've known about them._

Quite the conundrum. To top it off, she couldn't go home  _now_. If she went back now, she'd be forced to marry Prince Edward and give up the freedom she had.

And then there was Max and his family.

Oh, boy.

She felt  _happy_  with them. She felt safe and free. But, at the same time, she knew staying with them was just making them a target for the guard if they were found. Especially Max, since the kingdom more than likely saw him as her kidnapper, rather than her running away of her own free will and running into him by pure chance.

Lizzie was the sweetest person she'd ever met. David was nothing but a ray of sunshine in a cloudy world. Gwen was the mom she'd always wanted, rather than the one she had. Jaspar and Campbell were all right, and Campbell was the reason she'd been able to escape in the first place. Neil was practically her brother in all but blood and title, and having him around reminded her where she'd come from. And Max…

Putting into words how he made her feel was difficult. She felt drawn to him, like metal to a magnet, and he made her stomach feel fluttery. He never talked down to her or made her feel insignificant. If he had an idea for a scheme involving her, he'd run it by her before actually performing the scheme. But it was more than that. He was the first person from outside of Lilac that she'd ever met and had an actual conversation with. He'd introduced her to alcohol and the dangers of accepting drinks from people you didn't know. He wanted her to be able to fight, to defend herself. In his eyes, she was a human being—not a delicate princess or a possible bargaining chip, but a person with feelings and worth.

_If you ever get caught, he'll be thrown in the dungeon and executed the next morning—right after you get married._

The image of Max on the gallows entered her mind and made her want to cry.

_That settles it. I'm finding a way out of this stupid marriage, like it or not, Mom._


	5. Almost First Kiss

_New arrivals are always so suspicious_.

That was the thought running through the head of the mighty sorceress, Nerris the Cute, as she viewed a woman entering Sleepy Peak. The woman wore the clothes of a common person. She had long, dark brown hair and tanned skin. She had few possessions, save for a single bag that she carried on her back.

_You don't move to Sleepy Peak without wanting to hide. Whether it be yourself or something else._

"Hello," the woman greeted Nerris with a smile. "I'm Rosemary. And you are?"

"Nerris the Cute." Nerris narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, are you a sorceress?"

"Indeed I am. But you know better than to tell."

"Of course I do. I'm moving here, aren't I?"

_Nobody moves here without a reason._

"I'd suggest you find somewhere to live, fast. Otherwise, you'll lose everything."

"Do you know of a place?"

"Sorry, I don't. Good luck."

Nerris turned and headed into the Grumpy Butterfly, where Harrison was performing card tricks for a gullible patron. She couldn't help but smile. To her knowledge, he was the only other magically-gifted person in Sleepy Peak. Most of the others had been 'purged' from society and were hiding in the woods. Many of those poor souls lost their minds. Nerris had heard of one who made a house of candy, only to turn to cannibalism and attempt to eat a pair of siblings.

That poor woman…

"That  _was_  my card!" the man gasped. "You're  _amazing_! How do you do it?!"

"Trade secret," Harrison replied, flicking the card and making it disappear. "That'll be five coins, please."

The man grumbled but handed over the money, which Harrison quickly pocketed. Nerris slid into the seat across from him as the man left. Before she could do anything, Rosemary entered the pub and sat down at a table in a corner. Ered took a drink order from her and left.

"Well,  _hello_  there," stated a man to the newcomer, leaning on the table.

"Who's that?" Harrison asked Nerris.

"Rosemary. She's new in town."

"New?" Preston repeated. "Then we must welcome her. All are welcome in Sleepy Peak!"

Rosemary looked up as Preston approached her. She'd ignored the flirty patron in favor of looking at a paper she had.

"Welcome to Sleepy Peak," Preston told her. "I'm Preston."

"I'm Rosemary."

"Well, Rosemary, where are you from?"

"Lilac."

"Lilac's rich," Nurf pointed out in annoyance. "Even the  _peasants_  are rich in Lilac."

"Nurf is right," Preston agreed. "Lilac is rich in tradition and riches. Surely, you'd be more comfortable  _there_?"

"Not right now." Rosemary shook her head. "It's been over a month. I'm surprised you haven't heard." Everyone leaned in, intrigued.

"Heard vhat?" Dolph whispered, looking extremely nervous.

"The princess of Lilac was kidnapped… on her wedding day. The entire kingdom is in an uproar over it. Nobody got a good look at the kidnapper, and a week after the wedding, Princess Nicolette's dress and crown were sent back."

"Oh my God!" Preston gasped. "That poor girl! The greatest day of her  _life_  overshadowed by tragedy."

"Queen Candy is offering ten thousand coins to whoever can find the kidnapper. Twenty thousand if you find the princess, too. She's  _desperate_  to have her precious daughter back."

"I could buy my own theater with that money!"

"Or escape those who want to extinguish magic!" Harrison added.

"Maybe I could find my own place and do what I want," Ered wondered aloud. Everyone began talking about how they were going to be the ones to find the princess and her kidnapper.

Only Nerris remained silent. Nobody else noticed the smile on Rosemary's face, a smile that said there was more to her being here than simply escaping a kingdom in chaos. Nerris knew Max had come from there barely a month earlier, and he hadn't mentioned it at all. He would've. He was one of the few sources of outside news the city-bound people of Sleepy Peak had. And now Rosemary was dropping this bomb? Suddenly, it all made sense in the young woman's head and she narrowed her eyes at the newcomer in revulsion.

_So_ **that's** _why you're here. You know he'll come through eventually, so you're just waiting him out. And turning us all against each other? Clever. Clever girl. But you won't get me. I see right through your little illusion._

* * *

"Ah, the kingdom of Flora!" David sighed as Nikki stepped out of the wagon. "Such a  _beautiful_  place."

"Yeah, beautiful," Max muttered. "How soon can we leave?"

"Now, Max, you know we have to spend a few days here, as usual."

"Have you forgotten that Flora is an ally to Lilac? I'm risking my ass here, and you know it."

"Oh." David's face fell. "That's right. I'm sorry!"

"Nah, it's fine. I'll just stay in the camp the entire time we're here."

"I'm with Max," Nikki agreed. "The princess of Flora—Sasha—hates me. She'd turn me over to Lilac in a heartbeat, and Max, too."

"And I'm avoiding Tabii," Neil added, shaking a little.

"Well, if you three are so sure, then stay here," Gwen sighed. "I've got to go buy more writing supplies. Stay out of trouble and keep an eye on Lizzie."

"Yes, ma'am," Neil replied.

"Good."

The adults all left. The teenagers and Lizzie looked at each other, having no idea what to do now. Neil shrugged and walked off into the woods, presumably to try and find some herbs so he could continue his life-long quest. Nikki took a deep breath and smiled at Lizzie.

"What do you want to do, Lizzie?" she asked.

"I wanna play a game!"

"What kind of game?"

"A fun game! Do you know any?"

"I didn't really play games when I was younger. My mom wouldn't let me. She said they weren't for princesses."

"That's so mean! Your mommy is mean!"

"Yes, she is."

"First she wants you to marry that stinky prince, and now she won't let you play games?! She's the meanest mommy in the world!" Lizzie puffed out her cheeks to show her displeasure and Max laughed.

"I wouldn't say that, Lizard. My mom was pretty bad."

"But Mommy is a  _great_  mommy!"

"Not Gwen.  _My_  mother. My birth mom."

"What'd she do?"

"She gave me away to the child dealers when I was about your age. So did my dad."

"Oh…" Lizzie looked thoughtful. "You both have mean mommies."

Nikki started giggling.

"Okay, Lizzie. Your pick. What game do you want to play?"

"Hide and Seek! You guys go hide and I'll count!"

"Lizard, you don't know how to count."

"Then  _you're_  it! Nikki and I will go hide! Bye!"

Lizzie ran into the woods and Nikki ran after her. The princess could hear Max starting to count and started looking for a place to hide. She looked up to see Lizzie sitting on a tree branch. The little girl had evidently scaled the tree quickly and was going to drop down on Max when he came to look for them. Nikki had to give her points for originality.

"Hurry!" Lizzie whispered. She scooched so that she was concealed by the leaves and branches. Nikki giggled and ran deeper into the woods, but not so deep that she wouldn't be able to get to Lizzie if something bad happened. She decided to take a 'leaf' out of Lizzie's book and climbed up and onto a limb.

It would do for a hiding spot for now.

* * *

"Lizzie! Nikki!"

Max chuckled as he looked for the two girls. Lizzie was good at hiding. He never had any clue where his sister would choose to conceal herself. And Nikki was completely unpredictable.

" _Lizard Bomb_!"

Suddenly, he felt something land on him. A pair of tiny hands covered his eyes as someone situated themselves on his back.

"Oh, no!" he gasped. "Tiny hands! My one weakness! No!"

A familiar giggle filled the air.

"You know, I win now."

"Nuh-uh! You haven't found Nikki!" Max reached back and grabbed his sister, who squealed and laughed as he situated her so she was on his hip instead of his back.

"What do you say? Help me find her?"

"Yeah!" Lizzie fidgeted until Max let her down, then ran off into the wood.

"Watch yourself!" he warned. He continued on into the trees, but there was no sign of the green-haired princess.

_Damn, she's good._

A  _crack_  split the air above him. He looked up to see Nikki clinging to a branch that was breaking out of fear. His eyes widened as he realized that she was at least thirty feet off the ground. That kind of fall could  _seriously_  fuck her up. Lizzie knew better than to go that high.

"Nikki, let go!" he urged in a panic.

"I can't!" She was trembling as the branch broke a bit more.

"It's just like the day we met! Let go and I'll catch you!"

"I'm scared!"

"You  _have_ to trust me! Just do it!"

"I… I trust you!"

She loosened her grip and slipped from the limb, falling quickly. Max leapt to catch her and mostly succeeded. However, she landed on top of him rather than in his arms.

"I'm alive!" she cheered, sitting on his back.

"Yeah, and I'm dead," Max croaked. She gasped and got up.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Not your fault. I told you to jump."

"Thanks for catching me… again."

"Is falling off stuff a habit of yours?"

"Well, based off the two times it's happened, I'd say only when you're there to catch me."

Max stared at her, a blush forming across his face that matched the one on hers. Before either of them did anything else, a final  _crack_  rang out above them. He glanced upwards and quickly tackled her out of the way as the branch came crashing down. He landed on top of her, the dust settling around them. Max opened his eyes to see her below him, staring up in surprise.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. You?"

"Fine."

They stared at each other for a moment longer, then started to close the already-small gap between them. His lips brushed hers, ever so slightly, to the point where he could feel her breath on his face. He closed his eyes…

"What are you doing?"

Max jerked his head up to see Neil standing there with Lizzie. He got off of Nikki and helped her to her feet, both of them still blushing furiously. Lizzie covered her mouth, her eyes wide.

"Max likes Nikki!" she giggled, looking up at Neil. "He was trying to kiss her!"

"Yep," Neil affirmed, giving Max and Nikki a smirk. "I'd say you're right."

"Yay!" Lizzie jumped up and down excitedly.

"Let's leave them alone for now and head back to the campsite, okay?"

"Okay." Lizzie smiled and followed Neil back towards where they'd started. Max looked awkwardly at Nikki and then stared at the ground.

"Sorry. That was… that wasn't intentional." He scratched the back of his head.

"No, it's fine. Fine…" She was refusing to look him in the eye.

"We… probably would've kissed if Neil hadn't shown up."

"True."

"Well, then… we'd better head back, yeah?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

They walked back towards the campsite, side by side. Max ever-so-smoothly slipped his hand into hers. She smiled and gave it a squeeze.

* * *

Neil kept a careful grip on Lizzie's hand as they walked back to where the wagons were. He'd spotted Max and Nikki together first, and he'd noticed the position they were in. He also knew that they had feelings for each other and had been about to take Lizzie in the other direction in order to give them privacy. However, the little girl had spotted her brother and Nikki and quickly asked the question that interrupted them.

"Why did we have to leave them alone?" Lizzie asked.

"Because sometimes, when people like each other, they need to be alone for a little while."

"Like when Mommy and Daddy go off by themselves?"

"Yes."

"So that means that Max and Nikki love each other and that they're going to get married and Nikki will  _really_  be my sister!"

"Maybe. Max isn't going to admit it, though."

"Nikki is pretty, and he loves her! Why won't he admit it?!"

"Because I hate to say it, but your brother doesn't seem good with emotions." Lizzie looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled.

"What if we get Nikki to admit it first?"

"You're pretty smart for a toddler."

"And you're pretty cool for a nerd."

"Who said I was a nerd?"

"Nikki. And Max. And Jaspar, Mommy, and Campbell."

"Jeez, thanks for the compliments…"

"Nikki also said you're an alchemist, whatever that is."

"It means I make tonics and potions for people and my goal is to find the Elixir of Life."

"Why?"

"Because if I find it, I'll be famous for making somebody immortal."

"And everyone they care about?"

"Um… maybe?"

"Why?"

"So I can become famous."

"Aw. Cool. Can I help?"

"Maybe."

"Omigod, is that  _Neil_?!"

Neil froze at the familiar voice. Lizzie tugged on his hand and tried to pull him back into motion, but then she turned to see a girl with blonde hair enter the clearing they were in. She had a smile as she looked at Neil.

"It's been so  _long_! You look great!"

"Tabii, what are you doing out here?"

"I was looking for something Sasha lost when we came back from Nikki's failed wedding. What about  _you_? Shouldn't  _you_  be in Lilac right now?"

"He's with my family," Lizzie spoke up. Tabii looked down.

"Who the f—" Neil put a finger to her lips.

"Language. This is Lizzie. I'm staying with her family for a little while."

Tabii gave the little girl a look as if assessing her worth.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get her back home."

"Oh, no problem! Come into the kingdom and see us sometime! Sasha's actually considered the most eligible princess now."

"Wait, who was it before?"

"Nikki. But, since she's been kidnapped by a mysterious stranger, that's Sasha's title now." She looked over Neil's shoulder. "Oh. My. God."

"What?"

"T-that's Nikki!" Neil and Lizzie turned to see Max and Nikki holding hands and standing there.

"Hey, Tabii!" Nikki laughed nervously. "How are you?"

"Good. How did you escape?"

"Escape what?"

"Your kidnapper."

"You mean him?" She pointed at Max.

"I'm going back to the campsite," Lizzie announced, running off.

"Goddammit, Nikki," Max sighed.

"Why are you still with your kidnapper?" Tabii inquired.

"He didn't kidnap me," Nikki replied. "I ran off and happened to run into him. Neil got dragged along."

"Who are you, exactly?" Max asked Tabii.

"I'm Tabii, one of Princess Sasha's handmaidens. And you are?"

"Max."

"Well, Max, there's a price on your head. I could turn you in right now and get ten thousand coins. Twenty thousand if Nikki's with you."

"My mom's offering  _that much_?!" Nikki gasped.

"Don't worry. Sasha said that none of us should respond to the reward because with you gone, she's considered the most beautiful princess in the five kingdoms."

"Thanks, Tabii."

"It's no problem." She flirtatiously stroked Neil's face. "I'd better get back to the castle now. See you, handsome!"

She walked away and Max gave Neil a smirk.

"Not a word. I'm going back to camp before David and Gwen get back. Feel free to make out as much as you want while I'm gone."


	6. Children of Zeemug

Things were awkward between Nikki and Max now.

Ever since their almost-kiss in the forest a month earlier, they'd been skittish around each other. They thought that it wasn't as obvious as it was to their fellow travelers, who, of course, picked up on the romantic tension you could cut with a sword. Gwen watched from the sidelines, intrigued by the fact that her adopted son appeared to be falling in love—and with a princess, at that. David was concerned by the fact that Max was avoiding Nikki. Jaspar was ready to watch it all go down. And Campbell didn't give a fuck.

Neil still felt a little guilty for interrupting their moment, and he was trying to do everything he could to make up for it—whether it be by volunteering for babysitting duty or by giving them opportunities to hang out together. Nothing seemed to work, since neither seemed willing to be alone with the other. It was endlessly frustrating to the alchemist, who had watched Nikki be  _miserable_  for the past ten years and only wanted her to be happy…

* * *

_"Are you sure about this, Dad?"_

_Neil looked up at Carl, the royal philosopher. Carl was taking his four-year-old son to meet the king and queen at Their Majesties' request. Their three-year-old daughter needed a playmate and they wanted to meet Neil in hopes he'd be suitable._

_"King William and Queen Candy will love you, Neil! I promise."_

_Neil bit his lip as they entered the throne room. King William and Queen Candy were sitting in their usual spots, Princess Nicolette on the queen's lap and sucking her thumb._

_"Your Majesties," Carl greeted them, bowing. Neil followed his father's example._

_"Is this Neil?" Queen Candy asked, lifting her daughter so she could stand up._

_"Yes, Your Majesty."_

_"Bring him here."_

_Carl led his son by the hand over to the queen. Princess Nicolette looked at Neil and tilted her head._

_"Go on, Nikki," her father urged. "This is Neil. He's Carl's son."_

_"William, her name is Nicolette—a lovely name for our little angel," Candy insisted._

_"Nicolette is too long a name for her, Candy."_

_While the royal couple argued (and Carl attempted to mediate), Nicolette (Nikki) toddled closer to Neil and looked him over. He took in her puffy green hair, her magenta eyes, the dirt smudged on her cheek, the bandage on her elbow, and the mud at the hem of her dress. She wasn't what he'd expected when his father told him they were going to meet the princess of Lilac. He'd expected a little prissy girl who wouldn't want to play games or go outside at all._

_"I'm Nikki!" she told him, smiling widely._

_"I'm Neil, Your Highness." He bowed and she kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"_

_"Don't bow. You're my friend. Friends don't bow."_

_Candy stopped arguing with her husband and Carl when she heard her daughter say that. A smile spread across her face._

_"Thank God. She didn't turn him away."_

_"Come on, Neil!" Nikki grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the garden. "Let's go outside!"_

* * *

_"Do you ever think about growing up?"_

_It was four years later. Nikki was seven and Neil was eight, meaning that their friendship had endured for that amount of time. Neil nodded at her._

_"I'm going to be an alchemist. My mom said I can start an apprenticeship when I turn ten. What about you?"_

_"I'm going to get married and become a queen."_

_"You're seven. Why are you thinking about marriage?"_

_"Because Mommy says I'm getting married when I'm sixteen. I'm marrying the Prince of Woodland. It was all arranged when I was six."_

_"Wow. Lucky you."_

_"What does an alchemist do?"_

_"They search for the Elixir of Life, which makes you immortal."_

_"Sounds lonely."_

_"Who knows? If I'm good enough, maybe I'll become the_ **royal** _alchemist and live in the castle full-time!"_

_"And then you can make the Elixir of Life for me and my husband!"_

_"Yeah!"_

_"Nicolette! Neil!" called Queen Candy. "It's time for your lessons!"_

_"Race you!" Nikki was up from the grass first, running for her mother._

_"Hey! No fair!" Neil scrambled to keep up with her._

* * *

_"Say your goodbyes, son."_

_Neil looked from his father to Nikki, who was dressed in a modest cloak. She was twelve now, and beginning to grow into a young woman. Her hair wasn't as puffy as it had been when they were toddlers and was braided tightly against her head. Her expression, however, was grim. Today she was leaving for boarding school in the kingdom of Flora, where she'd be taught to be a proper lady rather than the tomboy he knew and loved as a sister._

_"Bye, Nikki," he sighed._

_"Bye, Neil." She gave him a hug. "Don't burn down the castle."_

_"Not without you."_

_Nikki smiled as she was led to the carriage, but that smile faded as she waved out the window._

_"A couple years there will do her good," Queen Candy told Neil and Carl. She was the sole ruler of Lilac, taking on the role after her husband's poisoning a couple years earlier. "It's where I learned to be a proper lady. They'll fix her."_

_"She's not broken," Neil murmured._

_Nikki was Nikki, not a lady. There wasn't anything wrong with her. Sure, she drank his tonics sometimes without permission, but the most they did was make her sneeze or laugh uncontrollably. She liked to be outside in the dirt and play with animals. She was always asking if she could wear tunics and leggings instead of dresses. None of that made her broken or sick in the head. She'd always been that way. But no. According to society, Nikki was bad and needed to go away for a while. A tomboy was a_ **bad princess** _and needed to be turned into a proper lady._

_And now he was without his best friend because of their stupid rules._

* * *

_"Now announcing, Her Royal Highness, Princess Nicolette Clarisse Amelie de Gardenia of Lilac!"_

_Neil lifted his head at the sound of Nikki's full name. He was sixteen now, and it had been a full three years since he'd seen his best friend. She was at the top of the stairs, wearing a lilac-colored gown with her hair in an elegant updo. Her jewelry was made of diamond, sparkling in her ears and on her neck and wrists. She carried herself with an air of elegance that made her almost unrecognizable as she descended into the ballroom._

_She didn't look fifteen; she looked twenty-five._

_He couldn't get through the crowd to talk to her, but he could hear her voice and laugh. It was all different now. Whereas before, she'd had a laugh that made you think you were actually funny, now she sounded more… pinched and reserved. Her voice was smooth and silky, like butter, and her vocabulary was more befitting of her status._

_In other words, she'd gone from Nikki—his try-anything-once, let's-have-fun-before-we-die best friend—to Princess Nicolette Clarisse Amelie de Gardenia. A complete and total snob and somebody he didn't want to associate with anymore. He chose to abandon the party and headed outside, onto one of the empty balconies._

_"Neil."_

_Shit. She'd followed him. He turned to see her looking concerned._

_"Why haven't you tried to talk to me?" she asked._

_"Forgive me, Your Highness," he replied with a bow. "But you were—"_

_Suddenly, she kicked him in the shin._

_"OW!" he yelped, clutching his injured leg. It hurt even more due to the stiletto heels she was wearing. "What was that for?!"_

_"I told you—we're friends, and friends don't bow." She crossed her arms and he could see the girl he'd grown up with—just in an older body._

_"What about 'being a proper lady'?"_

_"I'm only doing it to get Mom off my back. After tonight, I'm back to being plain old Nikki."_

_"Oh. Until you're sixteen, you mean." Her face fell._

_"Yeah, about that… I don't want to get married anymore."_

_"But… that's all you could talk about when we were younger."_

_"I know, but I realized something when I was at Miss Priss's. If I get married, I'll lose any freedom I have. I won't really be a queen like my mother. I'll be expected to be at my husband's beck and call and just have babies all the time." She looked up. "I don't_ **want** _to be a mother or a wife yet. I'm not ready."_

_Neil gave her a hug._

_"I missed you, Nikki."_

_"I missed you, too, Neil."_

_"I'm sorry you have to do this."_

_"Hey, can you promise me something?" They broke apart._

_"Sure, what?"_

_"Promise me that you'll do what you can to try and stop the wedding legally."_

_"I promise."_

And he'd kept that promise. However, he had only found one legal way around the marriage issue, and if Nikki and Max didn't get over themselves and stop with the awkwardness, then they wouldn't be able to do it.

The only legal way out of the arranged marriage was for Nikki to marry somebody else.

Max was her way out.

* * *

"This isn't good."

Nikki shivered as she walked through the forest with Max. They'd been on their way back from picking up supplies in town when they'd spotted Lilac soldiers on the road. Max had made the decision to disappear into the surrounding woods, but now they were hopelessly lost.

"I'm sorry," Max sighed. "I should've kept an eye on where we were going."

"It's not your fault. You were just trying to get away from those bastards."

Nikki bit her lip as they continued onwards, hoping to find their way out. She'd heard rumors about this forest—that the few magic-users who were left lived within its trees, going mad from isolation. It was enchanted, people said. Not safe for normal humans. Full of fairies and elves and what-have-you.

Luckily, she and her companions weren't normal humans.

"Nikki?" a man's voice called, faint within the dense wood.

Her heart stopped for a moment.

_Daddy?_

"Hello?" she called back, stopping and facing the direction from which the voice had come.

"Nikki, what's wrong?" Max asked.

"I thought I heard…"

"Nikki! Come here!" the voice said.

"Dad?"

"Nikki, it's not your dad," Max told her in a panic.

"I'm right here, Nickname! Come find me!"

"Daddy!" Nikki scrambled over the fallen log in her way and felt Max grab the back of her tunic. "Max, let go!"

"Nikki, that's not your dad. Trust me—this forest fucks with your head."

"Nickname, come to Daddy!"

"My dad's the only person who called me that and the only person besides me who knows me by that name. It  _has_ to be my dad."

"Nikki, your father is  _dead_. You told me that yourself—that he was murdered by poison." He gripped her shoulders so they were eye-to-eye. "It's. Not. Your. Dad."

"Get off of me!" She wrenched away from him and managed to get over the log.

"Dammit! Nikki!" Max leapt over the log with ease and ran after her as she ran towards the voice.

"I'm coming!"

"Fucking elves…" Max muttered as he ran. "I swear, Nerris better tell me how to block this shit out next time I see her."

Nikki stopped in a clearing, looking around for the source of the voice. Max caught up with her, panting.

"Jesus  _Christ_ , you're fast. So, if it  _was_  your dad, where the fuck is he?"

"I… don't know."

"Stupid humans!"

Max put a hand on his dagger and Nikki did the same.

"You shouldn't be in these woods!" the voice giggled. "Dangerous!"

"Very dangerous!" a second voice echoed.

"Humans are so foolish!"

"And they're so  _expendable_."

"Easy to read their minds."

"Find who they've lost."

"Find who they want to see."

"Who they want to hear."

"Come out, you fuckers!" Max yelled.

"As you wish, human idiot."

From the trees came two people. Max froze. They looked like David and Gwen, but paler and blonde. They had matching grins and white clothing, with the man holding a jagged knife in his right hand. The woman had a needle and thread.

"Hello," the man stated, cracking his neck as he tilted his head. "I am Daniel."

"I'm Jen," the woman added.

"What the fuck do you want?" Max asked, making himself a human shield between Nikki and the pair.

"We are Children of Zeemug," Daniel replied, staring unblinkingly with his haunting grin. "And all we require is human blood."

"Oh, but Daniel!" Jen giggled. "The girl isn't just human—she's also of  _royal_  blood.  _Much_  more valuable."

"You're right, Jen."

Quickly, Jen thrust her needle forward. It hovered in the air before flying around Max and Nikki, tying them together with the strong thread. Max struggled to get free, Nikki doing the same as the Children of Zeemug laughed.

"Nickname!" Daniel called, perfectly mimicking the voice of the late King William. "Come here!"

"Oh, God," Nikki whimpered. "Max, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. These fuckers must be who make this forest so dangerous to travel through. Mimic the voice of someone you've lost to lure you in before they strike."

"How  _perceptive_ , Max," laughed Daniel. "We read the emotions of humans and act accordingly before we spill their blood in the name of Zeemug!"

"I'll get the wine," Jen offered, going into the forest. Daniel followed her, intending to get the candles for the ritual.

"We're getting the fuck out of here," Max hissed to Nikki. "Can you reach your dagger?"

"No."

"How about mine?"

Nikki moved her arm as much as she could, her hand brushing over Max's torso as she managed to grab the handle of the blade. She began sawing through the thread. It snapped after a minute of trying and they were free.

"Run!" Max told her, grabbing her hand.

They picked up speed as they went back the way they'd came, branches hitting their legs and faces. Neither cared. Then they heard Daniel and Jen screaming in fury from where they'd left them. The two teenagers kept running, desperate to get to the road. Nikki ended up spotting the dirt path and they landed in a tangle as they tripped over the edge.

"You little  _rats_!" Jen hissed, flying towards them. She looked demonic as she flew, but was stopped by the edge of the road. An invisible barrier stood between the teenagers and the Children of Zeemug.

"Leave them, Jen," Daniel sighed, approaching the barrier. "Nerris the Cute's barrier still holds firm. We'll break free one day."

They vanished into the forest, Max and Nikki still lying in the dirt, panting from the effort it had taken to make it there. Then, the princess and the thief looked at each other and started laughing in relief.

"We made it!" Nikki gasped, hugging Max.

"Thank God," he murmured, hugging her right back. They sat there for a minute before Max stood up, helping Nikki to her feet at the same time.

"Thank you for following me," she sighed. "I probably wouldn't have made it out, otherwise."

"You're welcome." Nikki stepped a little closer.

"You know, in fairy tales, this is where the princess rewards her rescuer with a kiss."

"Isn't that a little cliché?" Max asked, smirking as he moved closer to her.

"I don't mind being a little cliché sometimes."

She and Max closed the gap completely, their lips meeting in a kiss that was a  _month_  overdue. A spark went through their bodies that made them not want to stop at all, but they eventually broke apart.

"That was…" Max said, his voice trailing off as he tried to think of what to say.

"Amazing?" Nikki finished.

"Perfect." She jabbed him in the arm playfully.

"Your sister was right about you,  _Sir Max_."

"Then allow me to assist you,  _Your Highness_." He did a mocking bow and grabbed her hand. "Shall we return to the castle?"

"We shall!"

* * *

Lizzie looked up at the sound of Max and Nikki's voices. She smiled and ran to meet them, only to find Max and Nikki kissing each other by a tree. Her eyes lit up.

"You  _love_  each other!" she squealed, interrupting them.

"Hell yeah we do, Lizard," Max replied. Nikki blushed and shoved him playfully.

"So now you can get married and Nikki can  _really_  be my sister and you guys can live happily ever after!" Max and Nikki glanced at each other and Lizzie  _knew_  they were thinking the same thing. "Yay! I'm going to tell Mommy and Daddy!"

"Whoa, wait a minute," Nikki spoke up. "Lizzie, it's not that simple."

"Yes, it is! You love each other, so you get married!"

"Lizzie, Max and I can get in big trouble for being together. My mom won't like it and she's offered a lot of money to have us brought in."

"Oh." Lizzie's face fell. "But… you're still gonna be my sister, right?"

"Of  _course_."

"Okay, then."

Neil walked by as Lizzie skipped back towards the campsite and looked at Nikki and Max.

"It's about damn time," he commented.

"Shut up, Neil," Max muttered.

"Why were you so determined to have us together?" Nikki inquired, tilting her head.

"Over a year ago, I made a promise. I promised I'd find you a legal way out of your marriage to Prince Edward. And I did."

"You did? What is it?"

"There's only one way: you  _have_  to marry somebody else and… consummate your marriage."

Nikki tilted her head, having no idea what that meant. Max, on the other hand, turned bright red.

"What does that mean?" Nikki asked.

"It means you have to have sex with your husband on your wedding night," Max stated bluntly.

"Oh. Oh!" Nikki turned the same shade of red Max had. "I don't know if I'm ready…"

"We have time," Max sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "We won't do anything like that until you're ready."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO!
> 
> So, yeah, that's the big thing with this story. Max is Nikki's way out of her arranged marriage and that's why Neil is so for them being together once they show chemistry. Speaking of Neil, the beginning of this chapter is the first time I've really gotten into his head. I wanted to explain why he was so close to Nikki and why he's sticking around. They've stuck together this long, so why not keep going?
> 
> Yes, I made Daniel and Jen mythical creatures. Deal with it.
> 
> And author's notes will be done every three chapters, so the next one won't be until chapter nine.
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	7. The Clock Begins To Tick

The life of a sorceress in the modern world was a tough one.

Magic was dwindling due to the witch hunts that occurred in all the known kingdoms, which made it difficult to be a court magician without getting arrested. If you were lucky, you'd find a safe haven like Sleepy Peak to hide in. It was allowed to exist as a haven for criminals due to the fact that it was so isolated from everything else—like a prison itself. Nerris was grateful that she was safe here, and that she wasn't alone in her use of magic.

That didn't mean she didn't  _feel_  alone.

Before she'd come to Sleepy Peak, she'd lived with her mother and father—a sorcerer and a normal human woman. Her father had trained her in the art of magic from a young age, and she'd been proud of her heritage. He always told her that her magic was a gift, meant to help her protect others from the evil that lurked in the world, and she was happy to learn how to harness that gift.

When she was thirteen, it had happened.

They'd been going through the enchanted forests on their way home from the market and they'd been attacked by a pair of demons named Daniel and Jen. Nerris's father had told her and her mother to hide while he fended them off. He'd been killed by Daniel in his attempt, upon which Nerris's mother grabbed a branch to protect Nerris.

And she'd died, too.

Overcome by grief and shock, Nerris's powers manifested, pushing the demons back into the wood from which they'd come and sealing them into the area. The barrier surrounded a few miles of the woodland, with the border ending at the road.

Nerris had buried her parents alone, washing their blood from her hands that night.

After that, she'd been driven from her home and wandered the land in search of a new place she could live. Sleepy Peak, she'd been told by Max and his family, was the best place for a young sorceress of her caliber to hide. She'd come there in hopes of finding a place to settle and found it. She'd also found some new friends who accepted her ability and were in awe of the fact she'd stopped the Children of Zeemug at the age of thirteen.

Then she'd met Harrison, the only person she'd ever met who could match her power.

He was different in his approach, however. Where she used her magic to protect those she cared about, he used his to entertain the gullible masses. It was fun to watch, but it frustrated her to no end that he refused to learn defensive and offensive magic. That left her the sole magically-gifted protector within Sleepy Peak.

"I'm just saying, learning defensive magic is a waste of time," Harrison told Nerris as they ate dinner at The Grumpy Butterfly. "Sleepy Peak doesn't  _need_  magical protection. It just needs the walls it already has."

"And I told you, Harrison, that knowing it is better than not knowing it. I never would've trapped the Children of Zeemug if it weren't for my dad's training. I think I've stopped a few more people from being killed."

"So what? Can you make things  _disappear_?"

"I don't have to. I can summon lost items I've seen in the past."

"Really? So you could track Princess Nicolette?"

"First of all, she's a person, not an item. Second of all, I haven't  _seen_  Princess Nicolette. I'm not falling for that scheme."

"Nerris! Harrison!"

"Speaking of things I'm not falling for…"

Rosemary had a happy expression as she approached the two magic users.

"Hey, guys!" she greeted them.

"Hello, Rosemary!" Harrison replied. "How are you today?"

"Still looking for a place to live. I can't believe it's been two months since the princess disappeared…"

"Yeah, it's very sad. Any word on the kidnapper?"

"A brief description of him was brought in by a witness." She pulled out a piece of parchment. " 'A young man with sun-shade skin, mint-green eyes, and curly black hair. Wears a blue cloak and black boots.' That's all there is."

Nerris choked on her drink.

_Max?! No way…_

_Wait… when he was here two months ago, there was a girl with him. A girl none of us knew…_

_Max was the kidnapper… or her accomplice in her escape._

_Oh, no…_

_Don't come back here._

* * *

"So, if you two get married, where would be the best place?"

Max groaned and buried his face in his hands. He was regretting agreeing to being Nikki's way out of her arranged marriage now that David and Gwen had gotten wind of it. David wouldn't stop crying tears of joy that they'd found true love and happiness together, while Gwen was obsessed with giving them the perfect wedding.

"We don't need anything flashy," Nikki told Gwen. "We just need a minister and some witnesses. It's not like we have a ton of people to invite."

"How about next time we're in Sleepy Peak?" Jaspar suggested. "I'm sure that will work."

"I agree with Jaspar!" Lizzie giggled. "The sooner, the better."

"I'm going for a walk," Max announced, rolling his eyes.

"You want me to come?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah. I'd appreciate it."

"Hands above the belt, please!" Gwen called as they walked away.

"I swear, my family is so fucking embarrassing," Max sighed to his fiancée.

"Hey, at least getting married is our choice. Life is short, and we don't know how long it will take before we're found."

"True." He slipped his hand into hers as they headed into the forest. As soon as they were out of the sight of the caravan, he pinned her against a tree. "But at least we can do this in the meantime, right?"

"Yeah," she giggled, booping his nose.

"God, I love you." They leaned in and started kissing. His hands traveled down her body and she let out a sigh.

"Hey, the wedding isn't for a couple of weeks!" they heard Neil call. "Keep your hands to yourself!"

"Motherfucker," Max muttered, releasing her. "Well, we'd better get training. If we get married in Sleepy Peak, you can  _bet_  some Lilac guards are going to be there and you'll want to defend yourself."

"Hell yeah." She tied her hair back in a ponytail. "Let's go."

* * *

Rosemary was beginning to get frustrated.

So far, nobody had given her any leads on the kidnapper or the princess. But she knew they knew something; whenever she gave out the description of the kidnapper, they would freeze and change the subject. It was infuriating—nearly as infuriating as Prince Edward's weekly letters.

_Lovely Rosemary,_

_Surely it can't be_ **this** _hard to find a simple thief. I will send more agents to aid you._

_-Prince Edward._

_Dearest Rosemary,_

_Would you consider marrying me for the good of your kingdom instead of Princess Nicolette, should you fail to find her?_

_-Prince Edward._

Every letter was like that. She'd burned them in the fireplace of her room at The Grumpy Butterfly, but they kept on coming. Now she was resorting to going to the back-alley types her stepfather had taught her to avoid unless absolutely necessary. One of them was a man with light brown hair she'd been told was a pervert. According to Ered, he'd attempted to drug and rape a young woman when she'd come through two months earlier, only to be stopped by one of the young woman's companions named Max.

"Well, well. What have we here?" the man chuckled as Rosemary stopped in front of him.

"Save it, you bastard. My name is Rosemary. I understand you have something I want."

"Listen, lady, I'm not interested in brunettes." Rosemary crossed her arms.

"Honestly, all men are the same—thinking with the wrong head. I want information you have."

"Sure… for the right price."

"And what would that price be?"

"A kiss, a drink, and you spend the night with me."

She held a knife to his throat, her knee in his lap and ready to do damage to his crotch.

"How about you tell me what I want to know and I forget you ever  _suggested_  that?"

"Fair." She released him and he stood up. "I'm Jason. What do you want to know?"

"I'm looking for a young man—about my age, with sun-shade skin, mint-green eyes, and curly black hair. Wears a blue cloak."

"Lucky for you—I know  _exactly_ who you're talking about. Unfortunately, he skipped town two months ago… after he clocked me in the face."

"Why'd he do it?"

"Simple—he thought I drugged one of his companions."

"Did you?"

"That's not the point." She sighed.

"Does this guy have a name?"

"Max. He's a thief who lives with a caravan that travels around the five kingdoms. A little bastard who thinks that the world has to play by  _his_  rules."

"And… what about the girl who was with him? Do you know anything about her?"

"I know that her name is Nikki, and she's  _seriously_  fucking hot. Like, tiny waist, massive…" His voice trailed off as he caught sight of Rosemary's unamused expression. "Sorry."

"No problem. Anything else about her?"

"Magenta eyes, green hair, wearing a tunic and leggings with boots. And she's got a  _killer_  right hook."

"Knocked you flat on your ass?"

"Yep."

"Well, then, thank you for your help, Jason."

"You're very welcome, Rosemary." He kissed her hand and she kicked him between the legs. "Hey! You said you would forget!" he rasped, holding the injured area.

"I did say that. I didn't say  _when_  I would forget. Keep your dick to yourself, asshole, and you won't have any problems."

"Bitch." He collapsed on the ground and she walked away.

"I'll find you, Max. And I'll make my stepfather proud by bringing the princess home."

* * *

"Ah-choo!"

"Bless you," Nikki told Max. She was helping Neil teach Lizzie the alphabet—which Lizzie was very  _uninterested_  in learning. The only reason Nikki was helping was because it was the only way Neil could get the four—now five—year old to sit still long enough for a lesson.

"Are you sick?" Lizzie asked her brother.

"Nah. I just felt like somebody was talking bad about me." He looked over at her. "How goes the alphabet?"

"Stupid, like Neil's face."

"Hey!" Neil protested, offended.

"Gwen and David said you have to learn it, Lizard. Just like me."

"I don't like it!" She screwed up her face and buried it in Nikki's shoulder.

Max never thought he'd be jealous of a five-year-old, but here he was.

"Tell you what, Lizzie. You learn the first five letters today and we'll do more tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

"But she can't count! We haven't started numbers yet!" Neil hissed to Max.

"I know. That's why it's perfect."

"Oh. Good idea. You two have to stay here, though—your wedding's not for a month."

"I know." Max rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Nikki and I are following David and Gwen's 'hands-off' policy… even if  _they_  can't."

Neil sighed and went back to writing the letters for Lizzie to copy. She was more eager to learn now that Max was paying attention and Nikki was being her big sister.

"A… B… C… D… E… F… G!" Lizzie said, pointing to each letter in turn. The three teenagers applauded the knowledge she'd gained that day.

"You did great, Lizard!" Max told her, ruffling her red hair.

"Thanks, Max! I'm going to go show Mommy!" She picked up the paper and ran towards where Gwen was working on her seemingly never-ending novel. Max helped Nikki to her feet.

"Never thought I'd be jealous of a five-year-old," he joked.

"Why? Because she got to be that close to my chest without being reprimanded?"

"Exactly." Nikki blushed and giggled.

Neil found himself wishing they were back in the days where Max and Nikki were awkward about this sort of thing, but they wouldn't be here today without that phase. And they  _were_  getting married in two weeks, so he let it slide a bit.

"Could you guys tone down the flirting around other people?" he requested. "Like,  _not_  be as explicit?"

"If I wanted to be explicit, I'd say she got to touch Nikki's tits," Max stated bluntly.

" _Goddammit_! She's practically my sister!  _Please_  do  _not_  put those images in my head!"

"Aw, Neil," Nikki laughed, patting his back. "You'll find somebody one day. Then you'll understand."

"I  _understand_  that you and Max love each other, but you need to keep it down! Need I remind you there is a  _price on his head_?! A  _huge_  one? And one that's even  _bigger_  if you're brought in with him?!"

"Relax, Neil. That's the other reason Max and I are getting married—to avoid me having to leave you guys."

"And the first reason—"

"Is because we love each other." Nikki hugged Max from behind and he blushed.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some sticks. They're for teaching Lizzie counting tomorrow. You have to start early; otherwise, they're harder to teach."

Max rolled his eyes again.

* * *

Nerris felt anxious as she kept watch over the gates of Sleepy Peak in the early morning light. She'd taken up the position in hopes of catching Max and the caravan before they entered the town to warn them about Rosemary, and so far, her efforts had yielded no results. She was nervous because Max had been one of the first friends she'd ever made in the world, and she didn't want him to be hanged or worse.

"Any luck?" Harrison asked, climbing the ladder that led to the watchtower.

"None yet. They haven't come back. Maybe they aren't coming at all."

"They come back every three months—like clockwork. It's been three months since they were here."

"True. I don't want them to get in trouble."

"And… you said that Nikki is Princess Nicolette Clarisse Amelie de Gardenia?"

"Yes. Remember what she said? She was running from her mother. From what I've heard, Queen Candy is  _very_  controlling. It wouldn't surprise me if Nikki is avoiding the wedding because her mother insisted she marry the prince." Nerris buried her face in her hands before rubbing her eyes. "God, I wish this was easier."

"It's okay, Nerris. You've been up here for a week now. It's time to come home. You need a bath and some sleep. Actually, a  _lot_  of sleep."

"Thanks, Harrison." Nerris followed him out of the watchtower, her cape fluttering as she descended the ladder. "I'm so scared that Max will get in trouble…"

"He's a good person. I don't think he actually kidnapped her. I was all for this at first, but now… I don't think  _anybody's_  going to let Max get arrested."

"Oh, so you  _knew_  the kidnapper the whole time?"

They stopped dead in their tracks as they saw Rosemary, not looking very happy. She was also flanked by four tough-looking, muscular men.

"It's not what you think!" Harrison sputtered.

"I think it's  _exactly_  what I think." She stepped towards them, the heels of her boots clacking against the stone ground. "You're his accomplices, and you're going to try and stop justice from happening. I can't let that happen." She snapped her fingers and the four men grabbed Harrison and Nerris.

"Let  _go_!" Nerris demanded, struggling to cast a spell.

However, in her sleep-deprived state, she couldn't perform any spells. She'd forgotten that in order to cast any spell, a magic user had to keep themselves in top form. She'd barely slept for a week and had only been eating enough to survive, so she had no chance.

"Nerris!" Harrison yelped, trying to use his own magic. One of the guards wrapped his arm around Harrison's neck and squeezed, knocking him unconscious.

"No! Harrison! You  _bastards_!"

"I must thank you for your  _involuntary aid_ ," Rosemary laughed. "I'll make my stepfather proud by bringing the princess home. It's for the good of my kingdom."

"You're a sick bitch!" Nerris yelled.

"Oh, Nerris the Cute, you foolish sorceress. I'm simply a woman who will do anything it takes to make it in a man's world." She looked to her companions. "Lock them up. And if anybody tries to interfere, lock them up, too."

"Yes, Lady Baker!" the men replied. Nerris struggled as they pulled her away.

The clock was ticking.


	8. Wedding Bells (Not Really)

"We're here."

Max's voice woke Nikki up as the wagon rolled to a stop. He was shaking her awake.

"Today's the day?" she asked, sitting up in bed.

"Yep. This is the last chance Gwen is giving me to see you before the wedding, so I'm taking it."

"Yay!" She leaned over and they started kissing. Max's hands started roaming over her body again, but before they could get very far, the door opened to reveal Neil.

"All right, guys. You have  _all of tonight_  to do this," he groaned. "You don't need to be doing it now. C'mon, Max."

"See you later, Nik," Max told her, following Neil out the door.

"Aw…" Nikki pulled on her boots and stood up. "Well, time to prepare for the wedding."

"Speaking of which," Gwen stated, coming into the wagon. "I already went into town and rented the rest of us a room at The Grumpy Butterfly. I figured you wouldn't want us to be around when you make your marriage official."

"Thanks, Gwen."

"Also, there were  _several_  guards from Lilac within the walls, so to safeguard everything, we asked the resident minister of Sleepy Peak to do the wedding here and asked Max's friends from inside the city to attend. The more witnesses you have, the better."

"Oh. I didn't even think about that."

"Well, how many friends do you have?"

"Hm… you guys and Neil. Wow. I'm a loser."

"It's not your fault. Overprotective motherhood tends to ruin social interaction for the children." Nikki tilted her head in confusion. "Never mind. You nervous about today?"

"The wedding itself? No. Tonight? Yes."

"I'd give you pointers, but that would be awkward considering I'm about to become your mother-in-law. And I think Max wouldn't want to do anything if he knew  _I_  helped you out."

"Um… agreed. Let's stop talking about it."

"Yeah."

They stood there awkwardly before Lizzie hopped inside.

"Let's go get Nikki ready for the wedding!" she cheered.

"Yes, let's do that!" Gwen agreed, relieved at her biological daughter's interruption. "Let's go."

* * *

"Any sign of Max or Princess Nicolette?" Rosemary asked her guards.

"No, Lady Baker," Thomas, their leader, replied. "No sign yet."

"Well, keep an eye out. They'll be here soon, based on the information I got from those two magic-users."

"Yes, milady." He nodded and they spread out. Rosemary started to walk around.

Despite the very public arrests of both Nerris the Cute and Harrison, nobody suspected that Rosemary was the reason for the event. Nobody treated her any differently than before, which made her confident that they wouldn't interfere the way Nerris had attempted to. She smiled as she made her way through the street, keeping a careful eye out for her targets. However, the person she spotted was almost as good.

The royal alchemist, a prodigy who had been missing as long as the princess.

"Well, if it isn't Neil," she greeted him.

"Oh, hi, Rosemary," he replied, smiling. They'd been on pretty good terms as friends, last she checked.

"How have you been? You look… less scrawny."

"Yeah, well, traveling will do that to you. And you look… determined."

"I am. Thank you for noticing."

"So, what brings you to Sleepy Peak?" They started walking together.

"Don't tell anybody, but… I'm looking for my father."

"The father who ran out on your family when you were just a kid?"

"Yep. I figured that with me being an adult now, I should meet him before I get married or something."

"That's… a very flimsy reasoning. Do you even know anything about him?"

"I know he's a con man. And that he has a mustache. And his last name: Campbell."

She noticed Neil flinch.

"Do you know something about him, Neil?"

"I ran into him a while back."

"How is he?"

"He was blackout drunk and mumbling about Bella, Rosie, and Joey."

"Mom, me, and my brother… wow." She shook her head. "Any idea where he is now?"

"Nope!"

"Quick response, Neil.  _Very_  quick response. Anything you'd like to tell me?"

"No, no. Nothing."

"Neil, my stepfather is the captain of the Lilac Guard. I know how to get the answers I want."

"Okay, you're  _definitely_  not out here just for your father. What's the  _real_  reason?"

"I'm looking for the princess and her kidnapper, the same as you." She smirked, then flipped a gold coin out of her pocket and into her hand. "Of course,  _I'm_  here on the orders of Queen Candy herself. You'd be surprised how much information a single piece of the queen's gold can get you in a shithole town like this."

"That makes more sense than you looking for your father."

"Oh, I'm always looking for him so I can kick him in the balls for walking out on my mother. If I find him, it's a nice perk to this little assignment."

"You're here on the queen's orders, you said? I thought the Guard didn't take women."

"They don't, but my stepfather convinced her to make an exception. He thought I could get more information than a man could."

"Good to know, good to know. Say, you wouldn't happen to know what will happen to the kidnapper when you  _do_  find him, do you?"

"He's going straight to the gallows, day after the wedding of Princess Nicolette and Prince Edward." She had a grim expression. "I  _almost_  feel bad for her marrying that ass."

"Great. Well, I'll see you, Rosemary! Good luck with the kidnapper thing!"

* * *

Neil was having a panic attack.

He knew Rosemary Baker very well. She'd been his second friend after Nikki, and he'd hung out with her whenever Nikki wasn't available. Rosemary was the kind of girl who would sell her own brother if it meant she'd get ahead. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that she  _hated_  her brother, but that wasn't important. He was glad that Gwen had insisted on having the wedding in the camp, and that Nikki and Max have the space to themselves for the night. If Rosemary was in Sleepy Peak and looking for them, then anywhere inside the walls wasn't safe.

To calm his nerves, he decided to have a beer with Harrison and Nerris at The Grumpy Butterfly.

But… they weren't there.

"Hey, where are Harrison and Nerris?" he asked Preston.

"They were arrested for conspiring with the kidnapper of Princess Nicolette," the actor replied. "I saw them get dragged off. Poor things. Nerris was ranting about Rosemary not being trustworthy or something."

"Thanks for telling me." Neil double-checked that none of the Lilac Guard or Rosemary were in the bar, then leaned in. "And, just so you know, Max is getting married outside town tonight."

"Are you  _serious_? Wait, is he marrying that pretty green-haired girl?"

"Exactly. The wedding's at four. Don't let Rosemary or the Lilac Guard hear."

"Got it. I'll pass it along to Ered and the others."

"Great." Neil ordered a beer to go, then slipped out of the bar. He ran into David almost immediately.

"Hey, Neil. Ready for the wedding?"

"Yeah, but we might want to keep it on the down-low. The Lilac Guard is here, and their leader is  _determined_  to bring Max and Nikki in. We can't risk it until tomorrow."

"Gosh darn it, you're right. I can't  _believe_  I forgot about that…"

"It's fine. Just keep them outside until all the qualifications of the law are met."

"Which will be…?"

"After they have sex tonight."

"I can't believe the boy I raised for ten years is getting married today!" Neil rolled his eyes and headed out, sipping the beer as he went.

Today was extremely high-risk.

* * *

Max was about to pass out.

Just three months ago, he'd been a thief who planned to steal a princess's crown on her wedding day. Now, he was the thief who'd gotten the whole princess… and her wedding day. He was  _marrying a goddamn princess_.

_If my birth parents could see me now…_

_They'd still probably call me a useless piece of shit for not getting the Princess of Flora._

_Fuck. Don't think about them. That'll ruin today._

_Today will be a good day._

"Max, you ready to start?"

He looked up to see David.

"Yeah, just about." David walked over and sat down next to his adoptive son.

"Nervous?"

"Fucking terrified. She's a princess, and I'm a goddamn thief. How the hell does that shit even happen?"

"It's natural to be scared on your wedding day, Max. I remember how I felt when Gwen and I got married."

"You almost pissed your pants, if I remember correctly."

"Hey, I went through with the wedding, didn't I?"

"You did, and that's how we got Lizzie."

"Exactly." David patted him on the back. "Forget about the guards and your status and the bounty on your head for today. Just think of how today, you're marrying the girl you love and you'll stick by her for the rest of your life."

"Thanks for the decent pep talk, David."

"You're welcome. Now, you ready to get out there?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Max headed out to see the Quarter-Minister—the head minister in Sleepy Peak—standing in between the two wagons. His hook-hand gleamed in the late-afternoon light, and Max was actually surprised that several of his friends had shown up. Nerris and Harrison, oddly enough, were nowhere to be found. He'd expected  _them_  of all people to be there, but hey. Life happens.

Wasn't that why he was here today?

He joined the Quarter-Minister and watched as Lizzie fidgeted with the small stuffed cat Gwen had made her for her birthday. She was restless from excitement, he could tell. He was distracting himself. That's all he was doing. He hadn't seen Nikki since that morning, so hopefully the wedding went well.

As if to answer his question, Neil came from behind the trees at the edge of the campsite, walking with Nikki towards him. She wasn't wearing jewelry or a fancy white dress or a veil. She was wearing a clean version of her normal outside-of-the-castle outfit and carrying a bundle of sticks with some leaves and flowers woven in. To her family or any of the other royal families, she would've looked insane and needed to be sent away for correction.

To him, it was one-hundred-percent Nikki.

"Take care of each other," Neil stated with a smile, putting Nikki's hand into Max's. He sat down and Nikki and Max looked into each other's eyes.

"Dearly beloved," the Quarter-Minister began in his usual gruff tone. "We are gathered here to witness the union of Max and Nikki. They haven't known each other that long, but they've made the life-changing decision to get hitched and spend the rest of their natural lives together. Max, as we all know, was a pain in the butt for much of his life. Nikki is new to all of us. But, if she's willing to put up with him, and he with her, then this is a match made in Heaven above."

"Aw…" Preston murmured happily.

"Max, do you take Nikki to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you, Nikki, take Max to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"If there is anyone who objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Nobody said anything.

"Well, alright. You had your chance. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Max and Nikki kissed, making every guest in attendance cheer. David was sobbing his eyes out from pure joy, while Gwen simply wiped away a tear. Lizzie jumped up and down, excited that Nikki was now  _legally_  her sister. Jaspar clapped his hands in approval. Campbell wandered off to where Ered had left the wine.

"So, now that we're  _officially_  married," Max chuckled to Nikki, "what's the first thing you want to do?"

"How about we eat dinner before we get to the 'consummation' business? I don't think I want to do  _anything_  like that on an empty stomach."

"That's fair. You're the boss."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, really. What, you think  _just because_  I'm your husband now that I'm going to order you around? I know you didn't want to marry Prince Edward because of that, and I'll be damned if I treat you that way." Nikki's eyes filled with happy tears as she threw her arms around Max's neck and kissed him again. When they broke apart, they started laughing.

"Max, you are the  _best husband_  I could've asked for. I can't wait for the rest of our lives to start."

* * *

As the revelry wrapped up, however, and the guests began to make their way into town, there was a single man watching it all happen. He narrowed his eyes. He hadn't forgotten what Max and Nikki had done three months earlier, and he knew of the bounty that would come from their capture. He didn't know of their union.

Jason ran into The Grumpy Butterfly and knocked rapidly on Rosemary's door. She opened up with an annoyed expression.

"What do you want, Jason?" she asked.

"My dear lady, I found who you're looking for. They're just outside town, in a small caravan consisting of two wagons." Rosemary's expression shifted from annoyed to elated.

"Thank you for your help. You'll be given a handsome portion of the reward money in return for your services. Be here at eight tomorrow morning. We move in as soon as possible."

She closed the door.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._


	9. Caught!

Nikki shifted as she awoke. She felt safe, sticky, and warm. She glanced down to see a sun-shade arm over her naked body and memories from the night before came flooding back. Her heart swelled with joy as she turned over to face Max.

She and Max were  _married_.

They'd consummated their marriage.

She was safe from marrying Prince Edward.

Nikki leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"Morning, Nik."

"Morning, Max."

"How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but mostly happy. That felt  _amazing_."

"Yeah. I don't know  _how_  we managed not to do it until last night." He sat up and stretched. "Well, we'd better get dressed before everyone else comes back. I  _really_  don't want to explain to my little sister why we're naked."

"Agreed." Nikki got off the bed and retrieved her clothes. Once they were dressed, they headed out to see David and Gwen packing stuff up.

"Are we leaving already?" Max asked.

"I didn't want to say anything yesterday," Neil sighed, putting some of his flasks in a bag, "but Rosemary Baker is here."

Nikki froze while Max just had a confused look.

"Neil, she's here? How long has she been here?"

"From what I heard yesterday, she's been here for two months, looking for you two. She wants to bring you in."

"Wait, wait," Max interrupted. "Who is Rosemary?"

"She's a stone-cold witch with a heart made of ice," Neil replied. "She'd sell her own twin brother to get ahead, and I know for a  _fact_  that she had Nerris and Harrison arrested for withholding information on your whereabouts. I don't think she knows you're here, but we have to leave before she finds out."

"Too late, Neil."

They turned to see Rosemary, standing there with a sword and her hair tied back in a bun. She was flanked by four members of the Lilac Guard, who had serious expressions as they viewed the caravan.

"Shit," Max muttered.

"Go!" Gwen instructed, pulling out a knife. "We'll hold them off! You and Nikki get out of here and take Lizzie with you!"

Max and Nikki ran out of the camp, Max lifting Lizzie onto his back as they went, while David, Campbell, Jaspar, Gwen, and Neil prepared to fight.

"Dammit!" Rosemary growled, her eyes taking in her opponents. They settled on Campbell. "Cameron Campbell."

"R-Rosie?" he gasped. "You've grown up."

"Yeah, no thanks to you,  _Dad_."

" _Dad_?!" Campbell's companions repeated.

"You have to stop, Rosie."

"You lost your right to call me that when you walked out on Mom twelve years ago." She drew her sword. "Now fight, you cowards."

* * *

Nerris let out a sigh as she concentrated on the bars of her cell.

It had been a few days since her and Harrison's arrest, and she'd been building her strength all that time in order to break out. Thankfully, Nurf was the guard of the prison and he'd been making sure she and Harrison were in top form. After a few days of rest and making sure she was well-fed, she was ready to cast a spell that would bust them out. The sorceress muttered an incantation and…

_BOOM!_

The door of her cell flew off its hinges and into the wall.

"Nerris, you did it!" Harrison cheered. "Could you help me?"

"Of course. We have to stop Rosemary! Stand back from the door."

She muttered the incantation again and got the same results.

"Let's go!" She and Harrison ran out of the prison and towards the gates of town. There, they saw Jason watching a site not far away.

"What are  _you_  doing here?" she asked him.

"Waiting for Rosemary to bring in the bitch and her boy-toy," he replied with a snicker. Nerris could see the Lilac Guard engaged in a battle with Max's companions in the camp. Max, Nikki, and Lizzie were nowhere to be seen, and Rosemary was missing, too.

"Oh, no." Nerris ran into the camp and murmured an incantation that froze the guards where they stood. David looked at her, panting. "Where are Max and Nikki?!"

"They ran into the woods," David replied. "Rosemary stabbed Campbell and ran after them!"

"Thanks for the info! Harrison, tie the Guard up. I'm going after Rosemary!"

"You got it, Nerris!" Harrison grabbed some rope that was hanging on the back of one of the wagons and started tying up the Guard.

_Oh, God. Please don't let me be too late!_

Nerris's feet pounded across the ground as she ran into the woods. She muttered a spell to track where they were and could see them running through the forest. Max was carrying Lizzie and Nikki was keeping up with him. Rosemary was right on their asses, but she was swerving in a way that meant she'd catch up with them. Nerris used a speed charm to try and make it first.

_Please, please let me make it!_

* * *

"Max, we have to split up!" Nikki panted. "She'll catch us otherwise!"

"I'll go left, you go right?"

"Yeah." They split up and Rosemary noticed. She decided to follow Nikki; Max was carrying a child, so he was slowed down by the extra weight and she'd be able to find him again without a problem.

"Your Highness, you must come with me!" she called, closing the gap between her and the princess.

"Never!" Nikki snapped. She tripped over an exposed root and Rosemary caught up with her.

"Your mother wants you home, Princess Nicolette. I'm obligated to follow my orders from the queen."

She reached for Nikki and a dagger swiped across her hand. She recoiled, cradling the injury as she looked down at the princess. Nikki was brandishing a dagger with an ornate handle, ready to fight back for her freedom. Rosemary growled and pulled out her own dagger.

"My orders are to bring you in alive. They said  _nothing_  about unharmed."

"I'm ready to defend myself, you goddamn bitch."

Nikki kicked Rosemary in the torso, knocking her backwards so that she could get to her feet.

"I never thought you'd be able to fight back, Your Highness."

"I learned from somebody who  _knows_  how dangerous this world is."

Rosemary lunged forward, brandishing her dagger against Nikki's. Nikki slid by, kicking Rosemary in the back of the head and to the ground. The trained fighter growled as she stabbed Nikki in the shin. She screamed and brought down the hilt of her dagger onto Rosemary's temple.

"You spoiled  _brat_!" Rosemary hissed.

"Spoiled brat? That's the best you can do for an insult? Please."

"You aren't tough enough for the outside world, Your Highness. It's time to come home."

"I  _am_  home. I have a family that actually  _cares_  about me now, and I'm not getting married to that bastard."

"Nikki!" a voice called. They saw Lizzie running towards them. Out of fury, Rosemary aimed her dagger at the little girl and Nikki tackled Rosemary to the ground. The dagger tumbled out of the guard's hand.

Rosemary started coughing up blood. Nikki's eyes widened as she stood up to see her dagger protruding from Rosemary's chest right where her heart was, blood seeping from the wound. The princess staggered backwards, breathing heavily as she started panicking and Rosemary landed on her back.

"Oh my God. No. No, no, no, no, no…" She started hyperventilating.

"I never thought you had it in you," Rosemary sighed before coughing.

Nikki felt her eyes well and tears spill as the dying girl began laughing. She felt confused.

"Why are you laughing, Rosemary? You're  _dying_! There's nothing to help you!"

"True, but when and  _if_  you get caught, the queen will never listen to you. She'll always see Max as a kidnapper and a murderer." Rosemary coughed again, scarlet specks landing on Nikki's tunic.

"No, no! She'll listen to me!"

"Will she?" Rosemary coughed again. "Even if she does, Max is still going to hang."

Rosemary's breathing was becoming steadily more ragged, her voice straining from the effort it took just to speak. Her crimson blood was already staining the grass beneath her and giving her sickly-colored trails of the liquid between her mouth and chin. The light was fading from her bright green eyes as the life was leaving her body.

"Rosemary, please..." Nikki was crying even harder now. Rosemary fixed her with a smirk.

"Give 'em hell, Nikki."

She went limp as she drew one last, shuddering breath.

"Rosemary? Rosemary!"

"Nikki!"

Max entered the area and caught sight of his wife standing over the body of her victim.

"I… I  _killed her_ , Max."

"Nikki."

"I'm a horrible person!" Nikki started sobbing and buried her face in her hands. Max put his hands on her shoulders.

"Nikki, look at me. Please look at me." She looked up at him. "You didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident."

"I still ended her life!"

"And she was going to hurt you! You were defending yourself." Lizzie picked up the dagger that Rosemary had thrown at her.

"She tried to throw this at me," she told her brother quietly. Max took the blade in his hand.

"And you saved Lizzie, too." He hugged Nikki tightly, letting her cry her eyes out.

"Max! Nikki!"

They looked up to see Nerris, looking out of breath and frantic.

"Oh my God," she murmured, looking at Rosemary's body. "She's gone."

"I killed her," Nikki told the sorceress.

"I was going to. My job is to protect the innocent from evil, and she caught me off-guard. I failed." She bowed. "Forgive me."

"You're here now," Max sighed. "That's all that matters. Now all we have to do is make sure everyone else is o—"

A dart landed in the back of his neck, knocking him unconscious. Nikki screamed as one landed in  _her_  neck, too.

"Well done, Snake," Prince Edward laughed, patting his henchman on the shoulder. "My bride and her kidnapper. And poor, sweet Rosemary, who tried so valiantly to bring you both in. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. Petrol, bring her back to the kingdom. She will have a hero's funeral."

Petrol grunted and picked up Rosemary's body, kicking Nerris to the side as Lizzie slipped between the trees.

"You  _bastard_!" Nerris yelled.

"I'm simply a man who goes after what he wants, you stupid sorceress."

Nerris raised her hands to fight back, but Snake got her in a chokehold and knocked her out.

"Very good, men." He picked up Nikki's unconscious form. "My sweet Nicolette. We will be married in three days' time."

* * *

Nikki let out a groan as she came to. She felt… comfortable. Sitting up, she looked around and realized she was back in her old room. Back at the castle.

"Oh, no!" she gasped, running to the window. Guards were stationed at the foot of it, keeping an eye out for any funny business.

"Welcome home, Your Highness," Lucy stated, entering the room with a red dress. "Your mother has asked to see you now that you're awake."

"Lucy, where's Max?"

"You mean your kidnapper? He's in the dungeon, of course."

"The dungeon?"

"You didn't  _really_  think he'd get away with kidnapping you, did you?"

"He didn't  _kidnap_  me; I  _ran away_!"

"That's not what the witnesses said. Now, come along, Your Highness. Your mother wants to see you."

Nikki got dressed, hoping that this was all just a nightmare. Maybe an after-effect of consummating her marriage, a manifestation of her fears that her happy little world would be shattered in an instant. Wordlessly, she followed Lucy down to the throne room, where her mother was talking to Prince Edward. Queen Candy spotted her daughter and smiled.

"Well, if it isn't my baby girl!" She crossed the dais her throne sat on and hugged her daughter. "I'm so happy you're home. And you'll be glad to know that your kidnapper is gonna hang for what he did."

"Mom—"

"Now, while you were gone, we put the entire weddin' on hold until you came back. Thanks to that awful man sendin' your gown back, we were able to fix it up for you to wear again. The weddin' itself is in two days."

"Mom, if you would just—"

"I can't  _wait_  until I walk you down that aisle again. We have extra security, so nobody will interrupt again."

"CANDY, WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE?!"

Candy stopped talking at her daughter's outburst. She looked over at the girl she'd given birth to—a girl whose face was contorted with rage and emotion at the moment. And were those… tears?

"What? What's wrong, honey?"

"I don't  _want_  to marry Prince Edward! I don't  _want_  to be the princess of Lilac! And I don't  _want_  Max to be hung for what  _I_  did."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"I'm  _talking_  about the fact that he didn't kidnap me; I  _ran away_. I ran away because I felt like it was the only way I could be free to live the life I wanted. He just happened to be there and he helped me get away. It was  _my choice_."

"Nicolette…"

"Mom, you are going to  _listen_  to what I have to say for once, and you're not going to interrupt."

Candy gave her daughter a look to go ahead.

"These last three months have been the best of my life. I was outside the castle, doing things that a  _normal girl_  gets to do. I went to pubs. I drank. I helped take care of a five-year-old girl. And I learned to fight for what I believe in. And… I can't marry Prince Edward. Not now."

"Why not?"

"I can't marry a man I don't love because I already married one that I do."

" _What_?!" Prince Edward yelled.

"Nicolette, you  _can't_  be serious!"

"I  _am_  serious! I fell in  _love_  with Max, and we got married two days ago. Before Rosemary caught up with us and before Edward brought me back. That happened the next day."

"Oh, God… I raised a whore…" murmured Candy. She balled her hands into fists. "Well, then we'll just have to speed up his execution."

" _What_?!"

"Nicolette, he's been a bad influence on you. The only way to get rid of that influence is to kill him."

"No, please! I'll do whatever you want! Just… let him go back to his family. Lizzie needs her older brother." Nikki's eyes filled with tears.

"Fine. If you agree to marry Prince Edward in two days, I'll release the little thief after the wedding. Right now, we have a funeral to plan."

"Oh… right…"

"I can't believe that boy killed poor Rosemary. She did so much to bring you home…"

"Mom… Max didn't kill Rosemary. I did."

"Right, sweetie. I know you love him, but you don't have to make excuses for that low-life scum."

"I'm not making an excuse; I killed her to save a little girl."

"Go to your room, Nicolette. I don't wanna hear any more of this nonsense."

* * *

"Dammit…"

Max tried to rub his head as he opened his eyes, but something was stopping his hand from moving that far. Looking around, he realized he was chained to the wall of a dungeon. His eyes widened.

"Oh, shit. Where's Nikki? Where is she?!"

"You mean  _Princess Nicolette_ , you filthy peasant," a snide voice replied. A guy wearing a royal outfit walked out of the shadows and stood at the door of Max's cell.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Prince Edward Pikeman of Woodland.  _And_  Princess Nicolette's fiancé."

"Like hell you are. She's not interested in you. And she prefers  _Nikki_."

"I can call her whatever I want. We're getting married in two days."

"You  _do_ know she's not a virgin anymore, right?"

"Yes, yes. She had a little outburst at her mother in the throne room not half an hour ago. Claimed that the two of you were married two days ago."

"It's not a claim. It's the truth."

"Then another  _truth_  you should know is that she agreed to marry me, and I'm still willing to have her as my bride, despite everything that's happened."

"No. She  _hates_  you. She married me specifically to  _keep_  from marrying your ugly ass."

"Well, then, you should know that she only agreed to save  _you_. If she hadn't, Queen Candy would've sent you to the gallows tomorrow. But no. Princess Nicolette wants you to live for some ungodly reason that I can't fathom."

Max felt like he couldn't breathe. Nikki was trying to save him.

And giving herself away in the process.

"No. Please, don't make her do this. Leave her alone—do whatever you want to me!"

"After all this, you  _still_  don't get it, you bastard thief.  _I_  am a prince, a man worthy enough to be the husband to the Princess of Lilac herself.  _You_  are nothing but a thief, not even good enough to lick her shoes. To her, you are  _nothing_  but a passing phase that will soon be over with. After the wedding, you'll be brought back to Sleepy Peak, where you will remain for the rest of your natural life."

Max's world was crashing down around him.

_Nikki…_

"Goodbye, Maxwell. Enjoy your stay."

"No! Don't you  _dare fucking touch her_! She's  _my wife_!"

"I don't see a marriage contract, and all I have to go on is the word of two  _untrustworthy people_. Give me anything else and I might believe it."

He turned on his heel and left Max with his own dismal thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *straps on helmet and ducks behind wooden barrier*
> 
> Okay, ready for your tomatoes while I explain a few things.
> 
> I was always planning for them to be caught. The matter of who would catch them and when it would happen was always going to be at this point so I could talk about it ; ).
> 
> Anyway, yes, I did kill off Rosemary. She was another thing I planned. She was never going to make it to the end of the story, and as you can see, it was her own confidence and temper that did her in. However, this does mean that Jason gets to live a little longer. Sorry for those of you who wanted him to die. It'll happen, just not quite yet.
> 
> Speaking of not quite yet, we haven't seen the last of the gang back at Sleepy Peak or the caravan. Campbell is alive, though, so I can assure you of that. Even if his daughter isn't.
> 
> See you guys in chapter 12, which if I'm calculating correctly, will be posted while I'm at DragonCon in Atlanta this weekend! Yay! If you're going to the con and want to see me, head down to the Animation Track and look for a girl with a Doctor Who backpack. She'll have her hair in a ponytail, be wearing glasses, and have a laptop on her lap. Also, the panels I'll be attending will be related to Steven Universe, Schoolhouse Rock, Disney, RWBY, possibly Camp Camp if there's a panel for it, and the Tara Strong panel. Feel free to say hi if you're there!
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	10. Imprisoned One Way or Another

_"For the crime of kidnapping Princess Nicolette Clarisse Amelie de Gardenia of Lilac, and for the murder of Lady Rosemary Baker, we sentence this man, Maximillian Greene, to hang!"_

_Nikki gasped and looked around. Prince Edward was in his wedding suit, and her mother was in more formal clothes than usual. Looking down, Nikki realized that she was wearing her mother's wedding dress. She then glanced at the gallows, where she could see Max with his hands tied behind his back as he stood by a noose._

_"No! Max!" she yelped, trying to run to him. She felt a hand on her wrist._

_"My sweet Nicolette, this man is getting what he deserves," Edward purred, caressing her face with his other hand. "He's not fit for you to worry your pretty little head about."_

_"He's my_ **husband** _, you bastard! Let me GO!"_

_She wrenched her hand away from him and ran towards the gallows. Something slowed her down, however—a hand on the skirt of her dress. Nikki turned and saw Rosemary with a dagger sticking out of her chest. The blood flowed freely, staining the white fabric crimson._

_"He'll hang no matter what you do," Rosemary sang in a taunting voice. "He's a low-life thief who deserves this. And so does his family."_

_As if to punctuate the statement, Nikki watched in horror as David, Gwen, Jaspar, Campbell, Neil, and even Lizzie were led to the gallows. Several more nooses dropped from the bar and hung there, ready to snap their victims' necks in an instant._

_"No! Let them go!" Nikki screamed, trying to run again, but another hand grabbed her dress. She turned to see Jason holding onto her._

_"Your husband said I could break you in," he stated with a grin._

_"No, he didn't! Max would never!"_

_"Not him. Marriage between a good-for-nothing peasant thief and a princess of your stature doesn't count. I'm talking about Prince Edward."_

_"No!" Jason began dragging Nikki away, Rosemary giving one last haunting laugh before collapsing on the ground, dead. Nikki was powerless to fight back, but she found herself unable to not see the caravan and Neil as the platforms dropped._

_SNAP._

_That was the sound that perforated the air around her. The sound of seven necks being snapped by nooses. She felt her stomach drop at that moment, viewing the bodies of the people she considered her real family. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. The world faded and she was left standing over a pit. In that pit were Max and his family. And Neil and Rosemary. Their bodies left to rot where they were, without a proper burial._

_And… at the bottom, there was another body. This one was wearing the clothing of royalty, and the crown of Lilac._

_It was her father's body._

_She felt like she was going to scream._

_"Nikki…" Max's corpse groaned, reaching for her in an undead trance._

_"Max, I'm sorry!" she wailed._

_"Nikki, please…"_

"I'm sorry!"

Nikki was panting as she looked around. She was in her bedroom in the castle.

It had just been a nightmare, but one that was dangerously close to coming true.

_I need to see Max._

Determined, she pulled off her blankets and leapt to the cold stone floor. The princess retrieved a plain cloak that Lucy had left behind that day when Nikki had screamed at her to get out in a burst of anger and tears. A lump formed in her throat as she made a mental reminder to apologize to the maid. That wasn't important right now. Nikki shook her head and grabbed a candlestick holder off her dresser before making her way to the door. Opening the small window at the top, she could see a single guard stationed outside her room. Quietly, she slipped out and hit him on the back of the head before dragging him into the room.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She took one of the lanterns in the hallway and carried it with her through the darkness.

The castle was deathly still at night, the hustle and bustle of the day long over. The building itself seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for morning to come. A chill was in the air, indicative of the winter that was on its way. Nikki pulled the cloak tighter around herself, wanting Max's blue cloak he'd laid over her so many nights when it got cold. It was of better material than the plain cotton one Lucy had, which was meant for the oddly chilling warmth of the fall.

_Focus. Get to the dungeon. Find Max._

She started down the staircase to the dungeon, remembering days when she and Neil would sneak down there to see all the criminals who had defied the kingdom. Now she saw each thief as someone desperate to survive, each magic-user as someone with a gift, and each murderer as a possible defender, perhaps of their family. There weren't many prisoners in the dungeon—just a thief, a supposed witch, and Max. The witch was dead asleep, as was the thief, so Nikki slipped by them without a problem.

Max was in a high-security cell, unguarded due to the fact that only Captain Baker had the key to the lock. He was lying on a straw mattress and she could see marks on his wrists where shackles had been. Most likely they'd chained him to the wall and let him down so he could sleep.

"Max!" she hissed. He shifted slightly. "Max, it's me!"

He rolled over and his eyes widened as he sprang to his feet and rushed to the door of his cell.

"Nikki? What the hell are you doing down here?"

"I needed to see you." She set the lantern on the floor and gripped the bars. "I'm so sorry, Max. This is all my fault."

"No. Shut the fuck up. It's  _not_ your fault."

"But… if I had just done what my mother told me…"

"Then we would  _never_  have met. I would've stolen your crown and we never would've seen each other again. I'm  _glad_  you don't listen, because that's part of who you are." He took her hand in his and they interlocked fingers. She was grateful for the five inches of space between the bars that allowed them to have this contact.

"I'm so scared… I just had a nightmare about you and David and Gwen and Lizzie and  _everyone_ in the caravan being hung, and—"

"Nikki, calm down. It's going to be fine. Your mom can't hang me, because that just means you'll run again. And you've got survival skills this time, so you might actually make it on your own."

"I don't think living outside the castle is worth it if you're not there."

"I agree. I love you. Don't you ever forget or doubt that."

"I love you, too." They leaned over and started kissing through the bars. It was desperate, as if they were dying and this was the last chanced they'd have to kiss.

Which, in a way, was true.

"Get some sleep, Nik," Max whispered hoarsely. "A guard'll be coming soon, so you need to get out of here."

"Okay." She gave him one last kiss before picking up the lantern and walking away.

* * *

Max stared at his hands as the early-morning sunlight streamed through the small window at the top of his cell, swallowing the lump that was in his throat. Just two days ago, he'd woken up in the wagon with Nikki by his side, the happiest he'd ever been. He was married to a girl he loved and the world was perfect.

And it had all come crashing down in an instant.

They were both imprisoned, in different ways—she was at the mercy of her mother and he was locked in the dungeon. She'd still come to see him, sought comfort from him, and he'd tried his best to make her feel better about the situation.

But he was lying to himself.

In truth, they were in deep shit now. Nikki seemed to be having a rougher time due to the fact that she was being forced to marry an asshole the next day, and the fact that he suspected that security around his wife's room had been increased to keep her from getting to him.

How she'd managed to the night before was a mystery.

However, he also knew for a fact that she was still carrying the guilt of Rosemary's death. With no way out of her arranged marriage and no way for him to get to her in time to stop the wedding, it looked like their wedded bliss was over.

_Kinda figured my marriage would last longer than a day…_

He'd wanted to have a few years of happiness with Nikki—start a family, travel, spend time with Lizzie and David and Gwen… but now none of that was going to happen. He was never going to see Nikki's face first thing in the morning again. He wouldn't get to have small arguments with her and watch the way her nose scrunched up when she got mad. He wouldn't get to see her have his kid.

All of that had been taken away from them by Nikki's mother.

"Aw, somebody looks depressed," sneered a voice. He looked up to see Prince Edward and balled his fists on reflex. "And hostile."

"You'd be hostile if someone was forcing your wife to marry somebody else."

"She's  _not_  your wife. Your union was illegal and ungodly. An abomination, if you will. Nothing good would've come of it." He let out a snicker. "Not to mention, her body is something to be desired and only worthy of royalty."

"Shut the fuck up, you sick son of a bitch. Don't talk about her that way."

"Why not?"

"Because if these bars weren't in the way, I'd strangle you with your own stupid jacket. She's a  _person_ , not an object."

" _Puh-lease_. Women aren't  _people_. They're tools for bargaining and objects of desire. The only use they have is giving birth and nothing else. Speaking of which, I wonder how long it'll take for her to get pregnant once she has  _me_  in her bed each night…"

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up." Max wanted to break the door down and stab the prince, repeatedly, in the throat. "This is the problem with you royal fucks. You think men have all the power and that women are just… baby incubators."

"But that's the way the world works. Men are tough, smart, and strong. Women are weak, stupid, and useless."

"Maybe in  _your_  world, but in mine? We're on equal footing. We don't get married for cash; we get married because we fall in love. That's what happened with me and Nikki."

"And still, there's  _no_  marriage contract, no witnesses, no  _proof_  of this supposed wedding. You're on thin ice. I'm asking Candy if I can take you back to Woodland after the wedding—maybe I'll break you in front of Princess Nicolette. She'll see my strength and want me more than you."

"You really have  _no idea_  who you're fucking marrying, do you?"

"Again, women don't  _need_  a personality. Her job will be to give birth to the heir, and nothing more. That's been the job of hundreds of queens before her, and it'll be the job of thousands after her. And if she has a daughter? We'll keep trying until we have a son. Over and over and over."

Max thrust his hand through the bars, landing a punch to the prince's face.

"You stupid moron. Suck a dick and go back to your own fucking kingdom. Leave her the hell alone."

"Guards!" Edward yelled. A few guards came at his call. "He just struck me! Assaulting royalty is a  _crime_!"

"You were  _just_  talking about  _torturing me_  in front of a princess! That's an assault on her eyes!"

"She doesn't matter, you fool!" He held his cheek. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see my bride before the ceremony tomorrow."

Max staggered backwards, landing on the straw bed.

_No. No fucking way I'm letting her marry that fucker._

* * *

Let's step away from the 'happy couple' for a moment, shall we? Because there are a few key players we haven't discussed yet—namely, the caravan and our friends in Sleepy Peak. What about them? How are they dealing with all this?

Not very well.

"Where's Max and Nikki?"

Neil felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach as Lizzie asked the question for the tenth time in two days. The five-year-old was  _not_  dealing with her brother and sister-in-law's disappearances. None of them had seen what had happened, but Lizzie had come back talking about how Max and Nikki had just fallen asleep after Rosemary bled a lot.

He suspected Rosemary was dead and that the newlyweds had been taken by guards, but he couldn't say that. Instead, he was stuck with a little girl who never listened to a damn thing he said and her hysterical parents. David and Gwen were now being overprotective as fuck towards their remaining child, and Neil could tell that it was driving Lizzie insane.

"I don't know where they are, Lizzie."

"We could ask Nerris."

"Why didn't you suggest that before?"

"Because you weren't listening. You were trying to fix Mr. Campbell's belly."

Oh, and there was the fact that Campbell was still recovering from the injury his daughter had inflicted. Neil hadn't even told him that Rosemary was most likely dead yet so that he could heal without interruption.

"We're going into town to see Nerris, then. You and me."

"Not without us!" David called, walking up to them. "After Max disappearing like that, I don't want Lizzie out of my sight."

As if to emphasize, he picked his daughter up.

"Fine. Let's go."

They walked into town, where they could see everybody going about their normal lives. Neil suddenly remembered he had  _no idea_  where Nerris lived. He'd only ever seen her at The Grumpy Butterfly when he was in town, but that wasn't an option. After her jailbreak, she'd be at home, recovering.

"Thanks for the meal, Ered," he heard Harrison say. The illusionist was leaving the pub with a bag in his hand, a worried expression on his face.

"Harrison!" Neil called. Harrison turned and a half-smile appeared on his face.

"Oh, Neil! You guys are still in town? I thought you'd be long gone."

"Not without Max and Nikki!" Lizzie insisted.

"Can you take us to Nerris?" Neil requested. "We need to talk to her."

"I can, but she's not really in good condition right now. It's why I'm buying her dinner."

"Please. She's the only person who can help us."

"Okay. Just… be careful not to upset her."

Neil, Lizzie, and David followed Harrison to a back-street, which was lined with houses. He went up to number 16 and opened the door to reveal a room filled with books and papers. It was well-organized and clean, with a thin layer of dust over everything.

"Sorry about the dust. I've been taking care of Nerris since I found her unconscious in the woods."

"Wait, unconscious?" Neil repeated in confusion.

"Somebody knocked her out and left her there to die. I brought her home."

Harrison began climbing the staircase, Neil right behind him. David and Lizzie stayed downstairs, figuring more people would agitate Nerris. And an agitated sorceress was dangerous. Emotions tended to make magic go haywire, spells happening at random with seemingly no cause other than the extreme anger or sadness or joy that the user felt.

"Nerris, I'm back," Harrison said in a gentle tone. Neil caught sight of Nerris lying in bed, her face slightly paler than usual. She rose slightly.

"Anything good?"

"Ered sent you some soup. Said it would help you get better. And… Neil wants to talk to you."

Nerris's blue gaze landed on Neil.

"It's about Nikki and Max, isn't it?"

"Can you tell me what happened? I need to know so I can try and find them."

" 'Eight entered the space and one dropped dead. Two fell asleep and one lost breath. Three took two and the first one away. If you want to see two again, you have to go back where you began.' "

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry. Riddle-tongue slips out when I'm stressed sometimes." She put on her glasses. "In the forest that day, Rosemary was after Max and Nikki. They split up and Rosemary chose to chase Nikki instead of Max, which led to a confrontation. By the end of that confrontation, Nikki killed Rosemary."

"But… that doesn't explain anything else. Where did Max go? Where's Nikki?"

"I wasn't finished. After that, Max caught up with Nikki, and I arrived at the scene. Lizzie was there, too, but I think she was in shock. Anyway, Max and Nikki got knocked out by drugged darts that were fired by one of Prince Edward's lackeys. I was surprised and didn't have time to react when they kicked me aside. The same guy who fired the darts forced me to lose consciousness. If I had to guess, I'd say that Max is imprisoned back in Lilac and Nikki is preparing for her wedding to Prince Edward."

Neil's eyes widened.

In the two days that they'd been missing, he hadn't even  _considered_  the most obvious option.

"Fuck. No… I… I can't believe all this is happening…"

"I'm sorry I was useless," Nerris sighed. "It seems like whenever it comes down to protecting people I care about, I can't do anything. First my parents, now Max and Nikki… why was I given this gift if I can't use it right?"

"You  _can_ , Nerris," Harrison assured her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Neil suddenly realized something, his eyes widening as the idea came to him.

"How would the two of you feel about going to the royal wedding?"


	11. Dreams of Freedom

"Tomorrow is the big day, Your Highness!"

Nikki sighed as Lucy brushed her hair. Her conversation and kiss with Max the night before had made it easier to sleep, but she knew it wouldn't last. The nightmares would continue to plague her well after he was returned to his family, and he would  _never_  be allowed near her again.

"You should be excited!"

"I can't  _feel_  excited, Lucy. I… I don't love Prince Edward."

"Love isn't important in a marriage like yours, Princess. What's important is that you'll be elevated from a simple princess to a queen, like your mother!" Lucy tied Nikki's hair back.

"Haven't you ever been in love?"

"Once. Lost him to sickness the day before our wedding."

"And wouldn't you do  _anything_  to be with him again?" Lucy bit her lip, then gazed at her mistress.

"You're… you're really in love with your kidnapper."

"He didn't kidnap me, but yes. I'm in love with him."

"After he killed Rosemary?"

"He didn't kill Rosemary. I did."

"You poor girl." Lucy hugged Nikki tightly. "That must've been  _awful_."

"You don't know the half of it. Rosemary actually started rooting for me to make it right before she stopped breathing. Too bad Edward showed up."

"What's it like, out there in the world? I'm stuck here, so I don't get to see it."

"Oh, really? I'd love to tell someone about my adventures out there."

"I'd love to hear it. You've changed since your wedding day three months ago."

"Thank you. I think it was mostly Max's influence. Well, him and his little sister, Lizzie."

"He has a sister?"

"She's a very sweet five-year-old. Unless you make her upset. That's when she really starts to take after her brother. It's hilarious to watch her flip somebody off."

"She did that?!"

"It was a lady who was accosting Max about the two of them being siblings. They both got pissed off and flipped her off in response."

Lucy let out a giggle and Nikki began to relax as she told her maid all of her travels in the world outside the castle. When she was done, Lucy looked extremely thoughtful as she contemplated the tales she'd just been told.

"If… if he truly did all that for you… and you married before a minister with witnesses and a contract… then you can't marry Prince Edward. It would be a blasphemy against God and adultery, however unwilling."

"I don't have a choice, Lucy. Max is locked up. If I try to run, he'll be executed. Captain Baker is the only person who has a key to his cell, so breaking him out isn't an option. Unless—" Her eyes widened. "I have an idea. Would you be willing to take a trip to Sleepy Peak?"

* * *

"I'm still not entirely clear on what the plan is," Harrison commented as Nerris packed her spell-books and potions. It was late afternoon now, with the sun sinking ever lower and illuminating Nerris's determined expression.

"I told you, Harrison—Neil doesn't have much of a plan right now. We have to assess the situation in Lilac before anything else."

"Ah. That makes sense. So why do I have to come again?"

"Because you're the only other magic-user we have, and your brand of magic is useful for distractions. Mine is useful for  _literally_ everything else you could need in a rescue plan."

"Fair enough."

"Ready to go?" Neil called from the other wagon. "We have a long ride ahead of us—an all-night journey."

"Why didn't we leave this morning?" Harrison asked.

"Because I know for a  _fact_  that the royal family has all their weddings an hour before sunset. We have more than a day before Nikki's fate is sealed. It'll take us a bit longer since we're travelling by wagon. If we were, say, a young woman riding a horse by herself and determined to get to her destination, it would only take a few hours."

"Like her?" Lizzie pointed on the horizon, to where a young woman was galloping rapidly towards them. She had long, pale brown hair and wore simple peasant's clothes.

"That's Lucy!" Neil gasped. "Nikki's personal maid!"

"What's she doing here?"

"I don't know." Lucy caught sight of Neil and immediately began to slow her speed. When she'd stopped, she leapt down from the saddle.

"Thank the Lord! It's you, Sir Neil."

"What are you doing here, Lucy?"

"Her Highness, Princess Nicolette, sent me with a message. She's unable to leave the castle herself, but she entrusted me to deliver it." She handed Neil a sealed envelope. "For you and Lady Nerris the Cute."

"Me?" Nerris inquired, confused and a little flattered.

"Yes."

Neil took the envelope and opened it up.

" ' _Neil, Nerris, and anybody else who's left in the caravan,_

_"I know that you've all been worried about me and Max, but I'm letting you know that I have a plan to help us both. I was able to convince my mother to postpone the wedding until after Rosemary's funeral so I could give her a proper goodbye. I was also able to send Lucy with this message under the guise that I needed to be alone._

_"Anyway, you all have two weeks to get to the castle. Nerris and Harrison have to come in order for this plan to work. Max is being held in the high-security cell—Neil knows the one. I will most likely be otherwise engaged with trying to convince my mother to call off the wedding entirely. And, speaking of weddings, you need to bring that old guy who performed me and Max's ceremony, along with our marriage contract. It's the best proof we have that the marriage is legitimate._

_"Send a message back with Lucy once you get this, and sell the ring I sent in the envelope to pay for a room at an inn in Lilac._

_"Good luck and see you soon!_

_"Love, Nikki.' "_

Neil reached into the envelope to find a diamond ring—a ring, he remembered, that was Nikki's engagement ring from Prince Edward. She was using her 'fiancé's' wealth to pay for her husband's rescuers. It was so totally Nikki.

"So, we're still going to Lilac, right?" Nerris inquired.

"Of course! Now we actually have some semblance of a plan." Neil grabbed some paper out of Nerris's bag and a pen. He wrote a response to Nikki's letter and stuck it back in the envelope, handing it to Lucy. "Thank you for coming all this way. Tell Nikki we'll be there tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir Neil!" Lucy curtsied before getting back on her horse. "Meet me at The Lavender Quail tomorrow evening an hour before sunset. That way I know you've arrived and I can inform Princess Nicolette."

"I will. See you tomorrow."

Lucy turned her horse around and took off towards the kingdom.

* * *

_"Hello?"_

_Nikki glanced around her surroundings. She was in some kind of forest. It reminded her of the place where she and Max had narrowly evaded being killed by the Children of Zeemug, only warmer and more welcoming. The aura of death and fear didn't hang over the trees like an ever-present miasma. Rather, she felt at home here. Safe and happy, with no bastard prince or overbearing mother in sight. The sounds of the animals reached her ears, a soothing lullaby that made her smile before she glanced back down at the ground beneath her feet._

_"This has to be a dream," she sighed. "There's no way my mother would let me out of the castle to a place like this with the wedding so close…"_

_"Too right, Nickname."_

_She turned to see a man wearing simple clothes. He had the same mint-colored hair that Nikki did, with a pair of eyes to match. Her heart pounded. His clothes were wrong (at least, as far as she remembered) but there was no denying who this was._

_King William._

_Her father who had died six years earlier._

_"Dad?" she whispered._

_"It's me." She hesitantly approached him, touching his hand to ensure he was real before enveloping him in a desperate hug._

_"Oh my God! You're actually here!"_

_"Only in spirit, I'm afraid. Welcome to the Dreamscape."_

_"The what?"_

_"The Dreamscape. This is the place where the living and dead can talk to each other without interference or wasting energy. I'm here because you need me."_

_"Why haven't you come before?"_

_"Well, you never really needed guidance before, Nickname. You're my daughter, and you have a stubborn streak a mile wide!" He laughed and Nikki did, too. They sat down on a fallen log._

_"I've missed you, Dad. Mom hasn't been easy to deal with."_

_"I know. Your mother has always been a bit high-maintenance. Even back when we got married, she insisted on making it the biggest and best wedding that Lilac had ever seen."_

_"So, you know everything that's happened?"_

_"I'm always watching over you. I've seen everything." Nikki blushed as one particular memory came to mind. "Not that, sweetheart, don't worry."_

_"Since you aren't around in the living realm to tell me, what do you think of Max?"_

_"He's stubborn, rude, crass, incorrigible, and has an incredibly filthy mouth. Of course, I'm just saying that because I'm your father. I'm supposed to disapprove of the boys you bring home." Nikki laughed again. She'd missed his jokes the most. "If I'm telling the truth, he's loyal, honest, smart, hard-working, and able to keep you in line when you go a little too far. He puts your safety high above his own and will defend you even when you're not around to see it."_

_"How did you know that?"_

_"I've been watching over him, too, and he managed to punch Prince Edward yesterday when that asshole was making obscene comments about you. I daresay he would've murdered him if he could've gotten much closer."_

_"Of course." Nikki smiled and stared at the ground. "I'm so lost. I never would've made it outside the castle without him."_

_"And a love like the two of you share is hard to find."_

_"Didn't you have it with Mom?"_

_"Oh, heavens, no. Our marriage was like that of you and Prince Edward—a business arrangement meant to bring wealth to the kingdom."_

_"Oh."_

_"You're lucky to have found it, Nickname. Many people go their entire lives without finding true love, or even love they consider real. Like Rosemary."_

_"It's my fault."_

_"No, it's not. Her mind was warped by her birth father's abandonment and a desperation to prove herself worthy to the father she gained. Her death was a result of a chain reaction set in motion the moment she was conceived."_

_"Poor Rosemary."_

_"I'd say I didn't get a bad end, all things considering," a familiar voice teased. Nikki looked up to see Rosemary in between the trees. There was no dagger in her chest now—not even a wound. Her clothes were simple, yet comfortable. Her long hair rippled around her shoulders, freer than Nikki had ever seen it in life._

_"Rosemary!" she gasped._

_"Your Majesty, I believe your time is almost up," the dead girl stated._

_"Yes." He gave Nikki a gentle kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you soon, Nickname."_

_"Bye, Daddy. I love you."_

_The forest rippled and faded._

Nikki sat up in bed, memories of her dream far from fading like the forest had. She felt hopeful for the plan to work out.

* * *

Max felt a pit in his stomach as the sun rose and light streamed into his cell.

_Today's Nikki's wedding day._

If it weren't for the fact that she was marrying somebody else, he would've been ecstatic. But, as it stood, she was stuck marrying an asshole and he was stuck in prison. Life really sucked sometimes, and he longed to go see Nikki one last time while she was still his in the eyes of the law. Hold her one last time before their marriage was ripped apart by her controlling bitch of a mother and the sniveling little coward who called himself the Crown Prince of Woodland. Deep down, he knew that one wish was impossible to grant.

"Hello, Maximillian."

He let out a low growl as he looked up at Prince Edward.

"Seriously, don't you have anything fucking better to do than torment me?"

"I'd love to be preparing for my wedding, but it's sadly been postponed."

"Postponed?" His heart leapt up with hope.

"Princess Nicolette requested that we wait until after Rosemary's funeral. A proper two-week vigil for a fallen hero. If it weren't for the fact that she was a vapid woman, I'd admire that."

"And you're a patronizing asshole. Your point?"

"Well, the deal with Princess Nicolette as far as  _you_  were concerned was to release you to your family after the wedding to minimize the chance for an interruption. That still stands, if you behave yourself. You're lucky I didn't tell her about your attack on me; otherwise, she would've changed her mind about your freedom."

"Nikki has no problem with me punching self-righteous douchebags like you. Ask Jason in Sleepy Peak—he tried to drug and rape her, and I clocked him for it."

"Ha! You only did that to win her favor."

"Trust me, if it were that easy to make Nikki fall in love, you'd have gotten her first."

"Why, you—"

"What? You're going to call me a rude, incorrigible peasant who never should've laid hands on the princess because I'm unworthy? I  _know_  I'm unworthy of her. I'm fucking  _lucky_  she decided to put up with my disrespectful ass. But you know something? Even if you marry her, you'll never have her heart. She gave it to me and I intend to keep it. No matter what you do, she'll always see you as the man who ripped her marriage apart out of greed and lust."

Edward opened and closed his mouth, unable to respond to that.

"And another thing: as far as I'm concerned, she's got my heart, too. She can do whatever she wants with it. I gave it to her and it's hers forever."

"You… you actually love her."

"Of course! I've been fucking  _telling you_  that for the past two days!"

"It doesn't matter. I'm looking forward to that spirit being crushed, Maximillian."

"Suck a dick."

"Watch your mouth." Edward turned and left the curly-haired man alone with his own thoughts once again.

* * *

"So, this is the kingdom of Lilac."

Nerris found herself unable to stop looking at the numerous large buildings around her. She'd never been within a kingdom's walls before. Sleepy Peak didn't count; it was a large town, not a kingdom. The castle loomed over everything, the flag flying high and proud. She felt diminished by the sheer size of everything.

"It's huge!" Harrison blurted. Nerris elbowed him.

"Act like you belong here, dummy."

"I know! I've never been in a castle city before."

"Neither have I."

"Will you both stay still so we can get a room?" sighed Neil in frustration. They entered the inn and a woman with a kind face greeted them.

"Room for three?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Neil replied, putting the appropriate amount of gold on the counter. "We're here for the royal wedding in two weeks."

"Of course." She took a key off a hook and handed it to him. "Room 13. Enjoy your stay!"

"Thank you, ma'am." Neil, Nerris, and Harrison headed up the stairs and to the room. There were two beds and a cot, which Neil was quick to claim.

"Hey, why are you sleeping there?" Harrison asked.

"Well, I figured you two could get the beds."

"We share a bed back home," Nerris snorted. "We're engaged, for Christ's sake."

"Oh! I… didn't know that."

"Nobody does except us. They just think we're roommates."

"That's what  _I_  thought."

"It's more like we  _know_  we want to get married and can't agree on anything," Harrison corrected.

"That makes more sense."

"Fair." Nerris shrugged. "Besides, don't you have to go meet Lucy?"

"Oh, right." Neil picked up his bag and headed out. "Please don't set anything on fire. We're not in Sleepy Peak anymore."

He headed to The Lavender Quail, which was the Lilac equivalent of The Grumpy Butterfly. Lucy was sitting at a table in the corner, isolated from everyone else. Neil headed over and set his bag down.

"How's Nikki?" he asked.

"She's fine. A little shaken up by all that's happened to her, but fine."

"Good."

"She asked me to tell you that Captain Baker is still the only person with a key to that cell."

"I figured. It helps that the lock is supposed to be pick-proof."

"How do you plan to get into the castle, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm still the royal alchemist, aren't I? I'm sure I can get through security without much of a problem. Nerris and Harrison can be two magic-users I captured on my return."

"That's a good plan. I'll be sure to let Her Highness know."

"Oh, and let her know nothing's going to happen until her wedding day…"

* * *

_"I'm here!"_

_Nikki looked around, trying to find her father again in this forest of goodness and light._

_"Hello, Your Highness," a familiar voice laughed. She saw Rosemary standing there._

_"Where's my dad?"_

_"He needed to visit someone else—the man you love so dearly."_

_"He's with Max." A smile spread across Nikki's face. "Good."_

_"I needed to talk to you instead of him. It's important for the future._ **Your** _future."_

_"Okay." They sat down on the fallen log again._

_"As you learned last night, we spirits of the dead watch over those in the land of the living. This viewing allows us to see what they cannot and have access to knowledge that is unknown to anybody. I was able to see your wedding to Max because of that. I'm sorry that I interfered."_

_"You just wanted to prove yourself to Captain Baker."_

_"I heard what the king said last night, Nikki." Rosemary's annoyed tone had a playful lilt to it that let Nikki know she wasn't mad._

_"What do you need to tell me, besides that?"_

_"There's no easy way to say it, I'm afraid."_

_"Are me and Max going to die?"_

_"I'm not clairvoyant. I can't see into the future like that. I can only see what is."_

_"What is… what?"_

_"What's currently in existence. I can view the past and the present, but only seers can view the future. I'm no seer."_

_"So, what's currently in existence for me, oh, All-Seeing-of-the-Past-and-Present Rosemary?" Rosemary took Nikki's hands in hers and sighed._

_"Nikki… you're pregnant." Nikki gasped._

_"Really? I am?! But it only happened once!"_

_"Once is all it takes. You're carrying Max's child. In nine months, you'll be a mother and he'll be a father."_

_Nikki pulled her hands away from Rosemary's and rested a hand on her flat belly._

_"How can you tell?"_

_"There's a spark of life in you that doesn't belong to you. It's very faint, but it's growing stronger with each passing day. Eventually, it'll grow and expand your belly, making itself known to the outside world."_

_"But… what about Edward? He'll never let me give birth to Max's child."_

_"Which is why there's one more thing you need to know. It could help save you, Max, and your baby."_

_"What?! What is it?"_

_"Edward was the one who poisoned your father."_


	12. The Funeral of Rosemary Baker

David felt his stomach twisting as he brought the wagon to a stop outside of Lilac.

Just a few days earlier, he'd watched his daughter-in-law walk down the aisle to marry the boy he'd raised for ten years—only for it all to fall apart the next day. He'd been looking forward to seeing Max being happy and in love that way for a while. Then Rosemary had shown up and that was the last time he'd seen his son. It was the last time  _any of them_  had seen Max, other than Lizzie, and she'd been worried about him and Nikki the entire time they'd been gone. And, thanks to the letter from Lilac, they now knew where they both were.

Imprisoned in the castle.

"I'm sure they're fine, David," Gwen assured her husband, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I know Nikki is, but I'm worried about Max. They're not going to believe that he  _didn't_  kidnap her and more than likely, he'll be blamed for Rosemary's death."

"Death?!" they heard Campbell gasp. The couple turned to see the burly man—his midsection still wrapped in bandages—staring at them in shock and horror.

"Mr. Campbell… you're awake," David sighed. "Yes. She's gone."

"How… how did it happen?"

"She was killed while she was chasing Max and Nikki. It was after she stabbed you."

"Where is she now?"

"In Lilac," Gwen replied. "According to Neil's last message, the funeral is this afternoon at the royal cemetery. She's getting a proper burial instead of being dropped in a pit."

"I need a disguise." Campbell turned to the wagon.

"A disguise? Why?" Jaspar inquired, confused.

"I was never there for my daughter in life. I have no doubt she endlessly resented me for walking out twelve years ago. But… I'm still her father. I should at least be there to say goodbye, since I didn't see her grow up. I doubt her mother and stepfather will want to see me, so I'll wear a disguise."

"That's actually kind of poetic and tragic," Gwen commented. "A father unable to tell his daughter goodbye as her father."

"And maybe I'll see my son."

"Your son?! You have  _another_  kid?!"

"Little Joseph—Rosemary's twin brother. My only living offspring now that Rosie's gone."

"We'll help you," David offered. "Even  _if_  your daughter  _did_ stab you in the gut before running after my son and daughter-in-law to bring them to the vicious jaws of a kingdom that will never accept their marriage as legal."

"Thanks, Davey!" Campbell slapped David on the back. "I was thinking of a mustache and a cloak."

"You already have a mustache!" giggled Lizzie.

"A different one. One that's less recognizable. Mine was voted 'Best-Looking Mustache' back when I lived in Lilac."

"Seriously?" Gwen groaned. "The cloak should be enough. You're going to your daughter's funeral to pay your respects. Act a little more mature."

"You're right, Grace. My Rosie deserves better."

He grabbed a cloak—black, of course, to match the occasion.

"I'm off to Lilac. I'll see you after the funeral."

Off he went, his companions watching him go.

"I hope it goes well," David told Gwen. "He deserves to at least be allowed to say one final goodbye."

"And he will. Nobody will remember him. It's been three months since he was in Lilac, and I don't think they'll remember him for crashing the wedding."

"I hope you're right."

"Daddy, what's a funeral?" Lizzie asked, looking up at her father.

Both parents stiffened at the question they'd hoped that would take a few more years to be asked.

* * *

_"Where the fuck am I?"_

_Max looked around in confusion. It seemed like he was in the bullshit enchanted forest where he and Nikki had narrowly escaped death, but this place didn't seem as menacing or evil. Rather, it seemed welcoming and full of light. The only things he could hear were the sounds you'd hear in any forest—animals, running water, the rustling of leaves. Nikki would've loved it._

_"Is anyone here?" he called._

_"Yes," a man answered behind him. Max whirled around to see a man with mint-colored hair and eyes. Despite his simple clothing, he carried himself with the grace of a great king._

_"Who are you? Do I know you?"_

_"You never met me when I was alive. It's a pity, really, that I didn't get to do that. No, you don't know me, but you know_ **of** _me." He bowed slightly. "King William Edward Henry de Gardenia the Fourth of Lilac, at your service."_

_"King William…? Wait, you're Nikki's dad?!"_

_"My little girl." Max felt nervous. His knees were weak and his arms were heavy._

_He was talking to his deceased father-in-law._

_"Sir, I apologize for what I did."_

_"For what?"_

_"Taking your daughter away from the kingdom… marrying her without your consent…"_

_"Don't apologize for that. You're good for her."_

_"Your Majesty, I'm not good for_ **anyone** _." Max sank down and sat on a fallen log. "Especially not someone like her."_

_"That's where you're wrong, son." William sat next to his son-in-law. "You see, you think you're no good for my Nickname because you were raised a peasant. You've had a hard life that led to a lot of hard choices. But, on the day she was to marry Prince Edward, you kept her from getting hurt, and you've continued that the entirety of the time you've known her. You put her safety and well-being above your own and you reel her back in when she starts to go over the edge. You make her smile and laugh, and you legitimately care about her as a person."_

_"So… you approve of our marriage?"_

_"I'm your father-in-law. I'm technically not supposed to approve of boys my daughter brings home, but yes. I approve of you."_

_"Thank you." Max stared at the ground._

_"I saw what you did to Prince Edward the other day. You have a strong punch."_

_"Wait, what?"_

_"Part of being dead is that we can watch over the living. I've been watching over my daughter since the day I died, and I've been watching you since you met her. You refused to let those sort of obscene comments be made about her. You are a loyal, hard-working, and honest man."_

_"Not like there's much I can do in prison."_

_"Well, I'll tell you this—your friends aren't going to let you rot here. And the door isn't magic-proof."_

_"It's not?"_

_"It's impossible to defend against magic without magic. Quite the conundrum, don't you think, my boy?"_

_"Yeah, it is." King William looked at the light in the sky and stood up._

_"Well, it's time for me to get going. My time with you is up."_

_"Thanks for the advice."_

_"No problem." He started to leave, but then turned back around. "Take care of my little girl and the baby."_

_Max's eyes widened._

_"Wait—baby?! What baby?!"_

_"You work quickly, Max. It took me and Candy three years to conceive, but you did it in one night." He waved and faded into the trees._

Max gasped as he sat up on the straw mattress.

He was still in his cell.

It had been a dream.

_Take care of my little girl and the baby._

Nikki was pregnant. He'd slept with her  _one fucking time_  and gotten her pregnant. He was going to be a father before he was eighteen—which, to be fair, wasn't unusual for their time. But still, she was alone in this.

_Your friends aren't going to let you rot in here._

On top of that, there was some kind of escape plan in the works? One that  _obviously_  involved Nerris and/or Harrison, since they were the only magic-users he knew of. They'd get him out for sure, but what about Nikki? Without the marriage contract, they had no way to get her out of the wedding for good.

What to do?

* * *

Nikki sighed as she tied off her braid with a black ribbon.

It was the day of Rosemary's funeral, and as per tradition, Nikki had dressed all in black. Her hair was in a braid as a tribute to Rosemary's typical hairstyle of choice—Lucy's idea. Nikki was grateful that Lucy was on her side now instead of her mother's; Candy would've insisted Nikki wear her hair in a tight bun and a veil. The veil was being left out so that Nikki could view the body without obstruction.

"Are you ready, Your Highness?" Lucy asked in a quiet voice.

"Ready as I can be, for the funeral of my murder victim," Nikki replied.

They headed downstairs and met with the queen, who was waiting with Prince Edward.

_Speaking of murderers who attend their victims' funerals…_

It was  _infuriating_ , knowing that Edward had poisoned her father without consequence. For six years, the assassination had been seen as the work of an unhappy servant or royal aide. Nobody had suspected that it was a political move by a red-headed bastard prince who was to marry the princess. He'd done it to make Queen Candy unstable and less able to rule Lilac, therefore giving him control once he married Nikki.

Of course, now he had a problem that he didn't even know about.

Nikki knew what he'd done.

Oh, boy, was she pissed and ready to ream him for what he'd done!

Not today, though. Today she had to pay her respects to a girl who'd craved acceptance in life that she'd never gotten. That girl was now considered a hero by all within the walls of Lilac, and Nikki was tempted to agree. Despite the whole ruining-her-marriage thing, because  _honestly,_ in Rosemary's eyes, she'd been rescuing a princess from a terrible situation. She'd given her life for a cause she believed in. That was admirable.

"Let's go, my darling," Edward purred, taking Nikki's arm. She pulled it away and walked towards the carriage, her head held high.

Once they got to the cemetery, Nikki sat down on the special thrones they'd set up for her, Candy, and Edward, ready to say one final goodbye. It was then that they brought out Rosemary's coffin, opening it so that they could see Rosemary's peaceful expression. Her bloody clothes had been taken away, replaced with an untorn dress that concealed the wound in her chest. Her eyes were closed and her har was braided, the way she'd so often worn it in life.

"It is so tragic that one so young and strong should be taken from us," said the old man who walked up to the casket. He had a long mustache and a hook for a hand. Nikki recognized him as the Quarter-Minister from Sleepy Peak. "I am the minister of Sleepy Peak, the town where she died, and I was given the privilege of watching her the last two months of her life. She was loyal, determined, hard-working, and willing to do anything to complete a task she's been assigned. She once told me that she'd be willing to lose her life if it meant the princess could be brought home safely. Rosemary Baker was a daughter, a stepdaughter, a sister, a soldier, a guard, and a friend. Those of us who knew her in life hope that now she is at peace, knowing that it was because of her sacrifice that the princess was brought home safely. And now, would anyone from the royal family like to speak?"

"I would," Nikki called. She walked up next to the casket. "I am the princess of Lilac who left the kingdom three months ago, sparking the hunt that led to Rosemary's death. She was the one who chased me down on foot, but I wasn't willing to go without a fight. In that fight… it was me who dealt the final blow to her, and I can  _never_  take it back, no matter how much I want to. She was a truly loyal person and I wish I could have known her under different circumstances. We might've been friends. I am  _so, so sorry_  to the Baker family for taking her away from you so soon, and I hope you can forgive me for this act." She bowed her head. "Goodbye, Rosemary."

"Nice job, sweetie," Edward told her as she sat back down. She refused to look at him and instead focused on the crowd. She could see a burly man in a black cloak near the back—a man she knew very well.

_Campbell? What's he doing here?_

Rosemary's mother, brother, and stepfather all approached the body and spoke of Rosemary's earlier life, talking of her sweet nature and willingness to go after what she wanted. They painted the picture of what had led Rosemary to become who she was when she died, and Nikki felt her gut twisting. None of them spoke of the fact that Nikki had killed her, but when the speeches were said and done, the people began to walk up to pay their respects. Nikki happened to be behind Campbell in line and heard what he said.

"Rosie, I'm sorry I wasn't able to be your father in life. You got a great replacement in Captain Baker—an upgrade, if you will. He raised you better than I could've. I understand why you were angry at me, but I hope now that you've passed on, you can see that it was for the best. So… this is my goodbye to you. I hope you found peace in the next life."

Nikki felt her gut twist again. Campbell was Rosemary's birth father. She'd killed the daughter of one of her traveling companions without realizing it. Campbell turned and walked away, leaving the funeral entirely as Nikki approached to say her final farewell.

"Bye, Rosemary. Thank you for your guidance and everything you've revealed to me..."

* * *

" _No. Fucking. Way._ "

Neil reread Nikki's latest letter, unable to believe what he was reading.

_Prince Edward poisoned King William to gain more control of Lilac?! I can't believe this!_

"It makes sense when you think about it," Nerris pointed out. "I mean, wasn't King William well-loved by the entire kingdom and most of the people outside of it? It didn't make sense for someone to poison him in the first place."

"I just always thought Queen Candy did it," Harrison added.

"So did I," Neil stated with a shrug. "But now I'm remembering that Prince Edward  _was_  visiting for Nikki's tenth birthday party at the time King William died. It was the perfect opportunity for him to strike."

"Is there anything else we need to know?" Nerris asked.

"Nothing really. The rest is just telling us to lay low for now."

"This sucks," Harrison sighed.

"But the Quarter-Minster is here and trying to get an audience with the queen, remember? If  _that_  goes well, we might not have to break Max out at all. And then we just have to find a way to prove that Edward poisoned William so that bastard can't come near Nikki or Max again."

"How did Nikki find out, anyway?"

"She said Rosemary told her in a dream. Which, I mean, come on. The spirits of the deceased revealing secrets? That makes sense to me."

"Aren't you a scientist?" snickered Nerris.

"There are things in this world science can't explain. Where the dead go after death is one of those questions, and I'd like to think that they watch over us from where they are."

"Whatever."

Neil rolled his eyes and glanced at the letter again. This time, he noticed a  _P.S._ at the bottom.

_P.S.: Rosemary told me something else. Promise you won't freak out, but…_

_I'm pregnant. Max got me pregnant on our wedding night._

Neil actually dropped the letter this time. His eyes were even wider as he struggled to find the words to tell his companions what Nikki had added.

"What's wrong?!" gasped Nerris.

"A-According to Nikki's postscript, she's also… pregnant."

"That means we  _have_  to get her out!" Harrison declared. "Edward will  _never_  let the child live."

"But the baby is more proof that Nikki and Max were married!" Nerris piped up. "And by that logic, Max got her pregnant when they consummated their marriage. Most parents I know don't conceive for a couple of years."

"Well, once is all it takes," Neil sighed. "We can only hope that this plan works…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter went up a little late due to circumstances beyond my control.
> 
> As I stated in chapter nine, this weekend, I'm at DragonCon in Atlanta. This is not my home turf where I lock myself in my room and write each chapter out. Instead, I'm walking around and enjoying the different panels and cosplayers, participating in the convention. I'm actually arguing with my mother about taking my computer with me while I'm walking around, and that's going great. If I'm able to, I'll post a second chapter today to make up for the fact that I was late with this one.
> 
> Anyway, yes, we're still building up to the royal 'wedding' (we all know that bullshit isn't going to happen) and Max now knows that Nikki is pregnant. Yay!
> 
> I'll see you all in chapter fifteen, which should be logically be one of the last chapters. However, no matter how long this story is, I'm doing a long author's note at the end like I did for 'The Final Bell'.
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	13. Truths Revealed

"Your Highness, wait!"

Nikki refused to slow her pace as she exited the carriage and entered the castle. The servants bowed as she passed, holding her head high with dignity and grace. Really, though, she wanted to burst into flames and burn her 'fiancé' down to cinders. He ran to catch up with her, grabbing her arm to slow her down.

"I said  _wait_. Are you deaf?"

"I can hear perfectly fine. Unfortunately for  _you_ , I also have a free will and don't  _care_  what you want."

"Listen, little missy! I am your future husband, so you'd best get used to my demands and  _following orders_."

"I take orders from  _no one_."

"What about Maximillian?"

"That's communication, not taking orders. And I'd listen to a gentleman like him over an asshole like you  _any day_."

He glanced at Queen Candy and gave a nervous laugh.

"Your Majesty, Princess Nicolette and I are going to go discuss things in her room, if you don't mind."

"Fine by me." She shrugged and headed for the throne room. Edward yanked on Nikki's arm and pulled her upstairs to her room. Once there, he tossed Nikki onto her bed and closed the door.

"Hey!" Nikki snapped.

"You listen here, you little bitch. You are  _mine_. Don't you  _ever_ forget that!"

"And don't  _you_ ever forget that this is  _my kingdom_  by birth! I have more claim to the throne than you  _ever_  will."

"Oh, but once we have a son, all that goes out the window. A boy  _needs_  his father."

"And a girl doesn't?"

"Girls need their mothers. Boys need their fathers."

"A girl needs her father just as much as a boy does. Or maybe you didn't know that when you  _murdered mine_."

Edward gasped and stumbled backwards, not believing that she knew about that.

"H-how did you—"

"You came here when I turned ten and poisoned him. Based off your reaction, I'm right. You  _do_  know that murdering the reigning monarch of one of your greatest allies is grounds for  _treason_  and the punishment is death, right?"

"You have no proof, Your Highness."

"How about  _you_  explain why you took away the parent that actually  _gave a damn_  about how I felt?"

"Fine. Your father was thinking of… backing out of the arrangement. He was seeing how unhappy you were and wanted to fix it. I couldn't let that happen, so I poisoned him. Your mother was the one who arranged the wedding, not your father, so I knew she wouldn't back out."

"And without my father, she'd be less stable and less able to rule, right?"

"Oh, women can't lead in the first place. It's why your mother arranged this marriage between us." He began to go closer and Nikki recognized the look in his eye.

It was the same look Jason had given her when he'd drugged her drink.

"And, Princess Nicolette, the fact that I murdered King William will never be believed by anybody else. You don't have proof. I don't even know how  _you_  know." He grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the mattress. "Now, you're going to keep quiet about this, or I'll have to punish you. You don't want that, do you?"

"No. And I also don't want any man touching me like this except  _Max_!" As she said her husband's name, she kneed Edward in the crotch. He let out a yelp and fell back, landing on the stone floor. "Little tip I learned while living with him: don't let  _anybody_  touch you if you don't want to be touched!"

"You little  _bitch_!" Edward recovered from his injury and lunged for her, but she rolled off the bed and grabbed a candlestick holder off the dresser.

"Come near me and I'll hit you in the head with this thing."

"Fine." He stood upright, holding his head high despite the pain in between his legs. "Just know that you're not getting out of this. You'll have to have sex with me eventually, and unlike you, I plan to  _enjoy it_."

"Uh-huh. And unlike  _you_ , it's not going to be my first time."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Are you insinuating that I'm a virgin?"

"Yep." She crossed her arms. "Because I know nobody wants to sleep with your ugly-ass personality."

"You'll regret this." He turned and left the room. Nikki felt her knees wobble and collapsed on her bed.

"I miss you, Max…" she mumbled, burying her face in her pillow.

* * *

"Hello, Maximillian."

"You know, with as much as you visit my cell, you'd think that it was  _you_  I was married to and not Nikki."

"Don't be preposterous! That's illegal and untrue!"

"What the fuck do you want now?"

"In all seriousness? Leverage."

"And why do you need me for that?"

"Princess Nicolette is being difficult. I need you to help me keep her calm."

"You're letting me out?"

"No. I'm simply going to remind her that you  _are_  a prisoner until after the wedding. Perhaps we'll put you on the rack, or maybe we'll use some other device that will cause you pain. Then, we'll show her. Remind her that she's powerless in this situation."

"No!" Max felt his heart pounding.

_Nikki…_

"What the hell did she do to piss you off this much?!"

"She assaulted me when I attempted to remind her of her place." Max noticed him shifting in discomfort and smirked.

"I taught her well, didn't I?"

"So it  _is_  your fault she's like this!"

"She's been like this her entire life.  _You people_  just tried to crush it out of her."

"Because this isn't how a  _true princess_ acts!"

"If you want to marry a 'true princess', go for Princess Sasha. She'll be considerably easy to trick into a wedding."

"There's one thing I  _still_  don't understand… what did you do with the royal alchemist?"

"Nothing. Far as I know, he's with my family outside Sleepy Peak still."

"He… traveled with you? And didn't return the princess?"

"Neil's loyalty is more to Nikki than to this fucking place. They've been friends since they were little kids; what did you expect?"

"I  _expected_  him to take his role seriously!"

"See, that's what happens when you expect things of people—they let you down. Next thing you know, you're sold to the child dealers and forced to work as a slave."

"What were  _you_  expecting from those people?"

"For them to be my fucking parents instead of my owners."

"Ugh! You fed her some  _sob story_  about you being abandoned."

"It's the fucking truth. You don't get how hard it is to not be born a royal. Out there, you're lucky if you live to be five years old."

"And I don't care. Watch your step."

"As long as  _you_  watch your mouth."

"Max? Edward?"

The two looked to see Nikki and Lucy standing there, Lucy holding a lantern for her mistress.

"Nicolette, darling!" Edward greeted her. She crossed her arms. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"Visiting my husband. I'd suggest you leave unless you want more damage done to you."

"Don't get  _too_  comfortable with him."

"I know."

Edward left the dungeon. Max breathed a sigh of relief before he and Nikki interlocked their fingers through the bars again. Lucy clutched her hands to her chest, her eyes sparkling as she viewed the pure love between the two.

"I've missed you," Max told his wife.

"I've missed you, too," she replied. "How are you holding up?"

"Only visitors I get are Prince Edward and the guards… which sounds more like a band name, to be honest. What about you?"

"Oh, you know. Dealing with my mother and my 'fiancé', figuring out how we're going to get out of here… typical stuff." Max bit his lip.

"Nikki… is something wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem more pissed at Edward than usual. You're  _always_  pissed at him, but this seems different."

"Well, for starters, he tried to pin me to my bed—"

Max let go of her hand and punched the wall. He hissed and cradled the injury as Nikki covered her mouth.

"Max, calm down! I kneed him where it would hurt."

"That bastard shouldn't be touching you."

"And I didn't let him."

"Good. What else?"

"This is going to sound crazy, but… I talked to my father and Rosemary in my dreams. And Rosemary told me two things. First… I'm pregnant."

"I knew that already."

"Wait, how?"

"Your dad came to me in a dream and told me. I'm glad that we're going to be parents, but not when we're separated like this and Prince Asshole is in the picture."

"About him… Rosemary told me that he was the one who poisoned my father."

Max's jaw dropped.

"Are you  _serious_?"

"I confronted him about it. Apparently, my father was going to back out of the arranged marriage and Edward wanted me to marry him, so he killed my father to keep the arrangement going."

"Son of a  _bitch_."

"I know!"

Lucy was feeling very uncomfortable.

_Keeping the princess's secrets is a high-stakes job…_

* * *

Queen Candy sighed as she sat in the throne room. It had been several days since Rosemary Baker's funeral, and Captain Baker was still in mourning for his lost stepdaughter. Despite this, he was still dutifully serving his queen—including her schedule. The wedding was the next day, for God's sake! She had to be prepared for her new son-in-law.

"Now presenting, from the church in Sleepy Peak, the Quarter-Minister!" announced the royal herald. The old man entered the throne room and the queen eyed him with disgust. He had a long mustache and a hook for a hand—in fact, she remembered him speaking at Rosemary's funeral.

"Your Majesty," he grunted, bowing. "I am the Quarter-Minister."

"Yes, yes. What is it that you want?"

"I am here to speak on your daughter's behalf since you refuse to believe that she is already married."

"How much did she pay you?"

"Nothing, Your Majesty. I performed the ceremony and I have their contract with me." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the paper, presenting it to the queen. She took it and unrolled the scroll to see her daughter's name written in her messy cursive, as well as Max's name written in a much neater script.

"Oh… it  _was_  legitimate."

"There were at least half a dozen witnesses as well. And, to my knowledge, they successfully consummated the marriage."

Queen Candy bit her lip. Nikki had been telling the truth, but Candy hadn't about the marriage.

In all honesty, ten years earlier, the king of Woodland had threatened war. The marriage had been arranged to prevent that war from breaking out. Woodland had a strong army that Lilac couldn't  _hope_  to stand against. His reasoning? Queen Candy spurned his advances years earlier when she'd been about to marry her husband. When he discovered that she was now a queen, he was furious and threatened her.

If they backed out now, it would mean war and Lilac ceasing to exist. More than likely, Woodland would wipe them off the face of the Earth, starting with her and her daughter.

"What do I do…?" she murmured.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Quarter-Minister grunted, raising his hook hand. "You end the engagement."

"But, if I do that, we'll go to war!"

"War is meaningless."

"Woodland has threatened war with us unless this goes through!"

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, why don't  _you_  just marry the king of Woodland?"

"Prince Edward's been a gentleman the entire time he's been here."

"Have you  _met_  your son-in-law? Your daughter doesn't want a true gentleman. She wants someone she loves."

"Other than Nicolette's marriage to Max, there's no legal reason to terminate the agreement."

"Talk to your daughter. Actually talk to her, instead of arguing. She'll give you a good reason, I bet."

"I… suppose you're right." She turned to Captain Baker. "Go get Nicolette, please. I need to speak with her… and her husband."

"Right away, Your Majesty." Captain Baker bowed low and turned away. Candy could sense an uneasy feeling in her gut as he left.

* * *

Max heard footsteps approaching his cell as he and Nikki were sitting in silence, just enjoying their uninterrupted time alone until those footsteps came.

"Hide!" he hissed to his wife. She slid behind a wall with her maid, who blew out the lantern. Max looked up to see Captain Baker turn the corner.

"The queen has requested your presence, Your Highness," Captain Baker stated, bowing to Max before unlocking the cell. The prisoner blinked, staring in confusion.

"I'm sorry—what did you just call me?"

"It has been determined that your marriage to Princess Nicolette is legal; therefore, you are now the prince of Lilac."

Dumbfounded, Nikki stepped into view of Captain Baker.

"He… he's free to go?"

"He's going to stay here, but your mother has requested that both of you come to the throne room to speak to her." Nikki and Max hugged each other, relieved that they were finally able to be together to some degree. Lucy smiled as she followed them up and out of the dungeon.

As they walked down the hall, the servants stared at the princess and her husband holding hands without anybody protesting. They seemed happy—and seeing the princess both happy and on her way to see the queen was a rare occurrence. One that hadn't really happened since before the king died.

"Presenting Her Royal Highness, Princess Nicolette Clarisse Amelie de Gardenia and her husband, Maximillian Greene!" the herald declared. Max stifled a laugh and Nikki elbowed him playfully.

"That's all," the queen sighed. "I need everyone to leave except Captain Baker and these two."

"Yes, Your Majesty!" the occupants of the room replied, leaving after paying the royal family the proper respect.

"Now that they're out of the way," Candy stated, turning to her daughter and son-in-law, "let me just say, Max, welcome to the family."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

"You can just call me Candy."

"So, what's this about?" Nikki asked.

"This has to do with you marryin' Prince Edward." She took a deep breath. "It's my fault this whole thing got arranged in the first place, but queens have to make tough choices—the happiness of their children or the safety of their people. Ten years ago, when we first arranged the weddin', it was because the king of Woodland threatened us with war if we didn't arrange it."

"What the fuck?!" Max yelped. "Why?!"

"Because I refused to marry him. I was already engaged to William at the time—may he rest in peace—and I wasn't willin' to marry someone else. I'm not like you, Nicolette. And now, with the weddin' not happenin' at all… we could be facin' a war with Woodland. They have a strong military we can't fight with our current army, and it's likely they'll win and go after  _us_  first."

"So the whole reason you locked Max up was so you could figure a way out?" Nikki inquired.

"No. I didn't believe you'd actually married him. My mistake. My point is that we need to figure a way out of the war entirely. If Edward committed an act of treason, then  _maybe_  we'd have a solution, but as it stands, he hasn't."

"Does attempted sexual assault count?" Max growled. "He tried to pin Nikki to her bed earlier."

"Unfortunately, no. I should  _really_  change that…"

"How about murdering a member of the royal family?!" Nikki called.

"What are you talkin' about?"

"He killed Dad because Dad was going to back out of the arranged marriage."

Candy leapt to her feet, tears forming in her eyes as she walked back and forth across the dais her throne sat on. Max felt uncomfortable.

"That's… that's  _certainly_  treason… but we don't have proof. We can't accuse him without proof."

"He confessed to me when I confronted him about it. That's why he tried to attack me."

"And I hope you kicked him in the balls for it!"

Hearing the queen using that kind of language was not something  _anybody present_  was accustomed to.

"First my husband, then my daughter… who are those  _bastards_  going to try to take next?!"

"Yeah, Mom, about that… you're going to be a grandmother."

Candy's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I just did an author's note with the previous update, but my update schedule was thrown off due to me being out of town over the weekend. I'm currently two updates behind, and the fact that I'm getting writer's block at this crucial point in the story isn't helping. Today, if I had managed to stick with my schedule, would've been chapter fifteen. However, I'm hoping to go back to regular updates starting today.
> 
> Things were revealed and relationships will be tested, next time on…
> 
> Wait, wrong story.
> 
> Okay, the first part rings true.
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	14. A Royal Wedding... Again

"Your Majesty?"

Candy let out a groan as she opened her eyes to see that she was in her royal bedchamber. Captain Baker—ever the loyal soldier—was standing nearby. He was the one who had awakened her.

"Oh, Captain. I just had a  _horrible_  dream that Prince Edward murdered my husband and that my daughter was pregnant with my grandchild and married to a commoner!"

"That wasn't a dream, Your Majesty. You fainted when Princess Nicolette told you the news."

The queen froze for half a second, then sighed.

"How is my daughter?"

"Currently, she and her husband are heading to the edge of town to retrieve his family. They will be brought to the castle for you to meet, including his parents and sister."

"Good to know." Candy got out of her bed. "I'll be down in the throne room in a matter of minutes. I'd like you to lock up Prince Edward and his two companions for the time being."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Candy dressed herself as soon as Captain Baker was gone, then looked up at the portrait that hung on the wall. It was the royal family as they had been when William was alive—happy and whole. She noticed there were smudges of dirt on her daughter's cheeks in the portrait and remembered with a pang how much of a tomboy Nikki had been as a child. They'd sent her away to crush it out of her, but obviously that had failed.

And she was glad it had.

_You are the queen of one of the richest kingdoms in the world. You turned a blind eye to a man trying to weasel his way into your land and your daughter took a stand for her freedom. Because of that stand, you are alive. Your kingdom is alive. You have a son and a grandchild on the way. Your husband's murderer has been caught._

_Thank God for Nicolette being one stubborn little bitch._

"Kami, take a letter." The scribe/storyteller-in-training fumbled with her parchment and quill pen as the queen entered the throne room. " 'Dear King Edward Louis Thomas Pikeman the Third of Woodland. Due to recent revelations and events within the kingdom of Lilac, I find that I must end our arrangement. Your son has committed grave crimes against our land and must be punished accordingly. This is not an act of war, but rather, a response to treason. I await your reply. Sincerely, Queen Candice Elizabeth de Gardenia-Morrison.' "

Kami nodded and finished writing the letter.

"Should I call for a messenger, Your Majesty?" she asked, nervously pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Yes. Send it as soon as possible. I want him to know what his son did and that we're not gonna stand for it."

"Yes, Your Majesty." A messenger dashed into the room and Kami handed him the letter.

"That will be all, Kami. Please return to Master Hendrickson."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Kami curtsied and ran out of the room.

"Your Majesty?" Captain Baker called, entering as the eighteen-year-old girl exited. "The Greene family is here, along with your daughter. Shall I show them in?"

"Show them to the guest rooms."

"There's something else, Your Majesty—among them is Rosemary's birth father."

"Him you may put in the servant's quarters. Otherwise they are to be respected in this castle."

* * *

Lizzie ran from the door to the bed in the center, her violet eyes shining excitedly.

"It's so big!" she squealed to Max and Nikki. David and Gwen started laughing at their daughter's spirit.

"Lady Elizabeth appears to be settling in," Captain Baker stated, standing behind the adults. "Allow me to show you to your rooms. His Highness, Prince Maximillian, is staying with his wife."

"Damn right I am," Max agreed.

Gwen, David, and Jaspar were shown to their rooms. Afterwards, a message was brought to each of them—the queen wanted the whole family at dinner with her that night. That included the recent arrivals from the outside. Max honestly felt kind of nervous. After all, most of his interactions with his mother-in-law had been… less than positive. Then again, the phrase 'mother-in-law from Hell' existed for a reason.

"It'll be  _fine_ , Max," Nikki assured him as they walked down to the dining room.

"I'm just hoping your mom doesn't lock me up again."

"She won't. Trust me."

They entered the room to see David, Jaspar, Gwen, and Lizzie already seated at the table with Candy. Max and Nikki took their seats and the food was brought out.

"So, you're a minstrel?" Candy asked David.

"Y-yes, Your Majesty. And my wife is a writer." Gwen stiffened.

"A female writer? There aren't many. Our dear storytellin' master, Hendrickson, has a female apprentice. Unfortunately, he doesn't trust her with much, so she's more like my personal scribe at the moment. How long have you two been married?"

"Seven years, Your Majesty," Gwen replied.

"Please, stop with the formalities. We're family now."

"Yes, ma'am."

Now that they were less formal and more casual, conversation flowed easily between them. Candy was proud that these were the people who had cared for and kept her daughter out of trouble for three months—something that was no easy feat. Guards had tried and failed for years where these people had succeeded, and she was proud to be a member of their family.

"Your Majesty!"

She turned to see Kami running into the room, a paper in her hand.

"A messenger from King Edward just sent this," she panted, handing it to the queen. Candy began to read it.

_Dear Queen Candice Elizabeth de Gardenia-Morrison of Lilac,_

_We had a deal. Your daughter marries my son and I don't wage war on Lilac. It's a simple thing, and you still managed to screw it up. Not only have you canceled the wedding, but you've imprisoned my son accusing him of treason. This is an act of_ **war** _, Your Majesty, but I am willing to discuss matters with you. Hold off on my son's execution and I will visit Lilac in three months' time to have this discussion._

_I await your response._

_Sincerely,_

_King Edward Louis Thomas Pikeman III of Woodland._

She lowered the paper, her joyful mood evaporating.

* * *

"I  _demand_  to know the meaning of this!"

Captain Baker sighed as Edward screamed at him from his cell.

"It's like I told you when you were imprisoned in the first place—you are accused of treason against the kingdom of Lilac, so you are being held until your trial and execution. Not to mention your assault on the prince and princess."

"There  _is_  no prince!"

"As of a few hours ago, Princess Nicolette's marriage has been recognized as legal and legitimate. A marriage certificate and witness testimony confirmed it."

"W-what?!"

"You attempted to sexually assault the princess and you were the one who attacked both of them before bringing them back to the castle. That is assault."

"My father will hear of this!"

"A letter has already been sent by Queen Candy. Your father has been made aware."

Edward let out a growl.

_That damn peasant! He'll pay for this…_

* * *

Neil let out a sigh as he faced the drawbridge.

Nikki had stopped by earlier with Max and let them know that the Quarter-Minister had managed to convince Queen Candy that their marriage was legitimate. That meant it was safe for Neil to return to the castle, and he'd decided to let Nerris and Harrison come with him.

The bridge came down, allowing the three to cross into the courtyard. Servants were walking around in apparent good moods, going about their daily business.

"This isn't a good idea," Nerris sighed to Neil.

"You're the one who trapped the Children of Zeemug and saved Nikki from dying by their hands! The queen tends to favor people who risk their lives for her daughter."

"I hope you're right, but just in case…" She held up a small bottle. "I have my escape route."

"Will it cause a fire?"

"No, but it'll allow me to travel back to Sleepy Peak at a moment's notice."

"Neil! Nerris! Harrison!"

They turned to see Nikki running towards them at full-force, Max not far behind her. He looked like he was doing much better than in the dungeon. The princess knocked all three of them to the ground, Nerris making sure her bottle didn't break.

"Welcome to the castle!" the princess squealed, letting them up as her husband helped her to her feet.

"You can't be doing this in your condition!" Neil protested. Nikki let out a deep breath.

"Gwen said I don't  _really_  have to be careful for a little while longer. She would know; she was pregnant a couple of years ago."

"Yes, but there are all kinds of risks!"

"Oh, be quiet, Neil. I'm just happy I'm not marrying Prince Edward today!" She hugged Max and the normally tough-acting guy seemed to melt like butter on a hot pan.

"You two are a  _ridiculously_  cute couple!" Nerris complimented, a smile on her face. "At least now you can be together peacefully."

"Until the king of Woodland decides to declare war, that is," Max told them. "If that happens, we're first on the hit list."

The sorceress stiffened, looking uncomfortable.

"War?"

"That's why the wedding was put in place—to prevent him from declaring war. Now that the wedding's off, he's looking to fight." He kicked at the cobblestones. "Fucker. He needs to get over himself and accept that Candy chose William over him."

" _That's_  why he's threatening war?!" snorted Neil. "For something that stupid?!"

"And because we locked up his son for treason."

"Right. Killing the king of another kingdom is an act of treason."

Max rolled his eyes.

* * *

Fear was not a feeling men of his status were meant to have.

To admit to fear was to be a coward. He'd been taught that since birth. If something made you fearful, get rid of it. That was the way to be brave and not a coward. Women were meant to be fearful and submissive to the brave and domineering men. The way of the world, he'd been taught.

And yet…

Princess Nicolette was neither fearful nor submissive. She had more strength in her than he'd had in his entire life. This was the woman who had stood up to him more times than he cared to think about. He'd taken away her father, which only made her more determined to see him brought down.

_Don't be afraid. Fear is for the weak._

He was  _afraid_. For the first time in his life, he felt afraid—and of a woman, at that.

She was strong, brave, and steadfast in her beliefs. He was weak, cowardly, and changed with the tide. She'd chosen a life of love and happiness over riches. He'd chosen a life that had led him to being imprisoned. She'd fallen in love and married that person. He'd lost the girl he'd loved because he was a coward. She had no fear of disappointing her family. He dreaded that moment. She still had her freedom. He was locked in a cell.

They were two sides of the same coin.

_I don't want to feel afraid._

He'd committed an act of treason—one that could easily lead to his execution. One decision six years earlier had started a ripple effect. He'd thought that it could never be traced back to him, that nobody would ever figure it out.

And somehow, Nicolette had.

Sitting in his cell now, he felt oddly peaceful. He now knew his fate; he would die in a foreign land for committing a grievous offense to the kingdom. It was that cut and dry. Even if nobody believed he killed the king, he'd be tried for attempting to rape the princess and attacking her and her husband. The trial, he'd heard from Captain Baker, had been delayed. His father was coming to Lilac to discuss it with the queen.

He knew he would never be free again.

He'd given up that right when he'd slipped the poison into King William's wine six years earlier.

And that was when Prince Edward was made aware of his own mortality.

* * *

"Time to get up, Your Highnesses!"

Max hugged Nikki tighter to him as Lucy called out.

"There's a lot to be done today! We need both of you up, up, up!"

"She's not going to shut up until we get up," Nikki mumbled.

"Is there any days she doesn't do this shit?" Max muttered. Nikki sighed.

"Lucy, we need a minute, please."

"You're already pregnant, ma'am, but I'll go. I'll be back in five minutes."

They listened to her footsteps recede and the door shut behind her. The married couple sat up in bed, relieved to be alone.

"Being royal isn't all it's cracked up to be," Max commented.

"I told you that a  _long_  time ago," Nikki giggled. "C'mon. She was serious about coming back."

"Are we ever allowed to be alone?"

"Maybe once all this is over and we don't have to worry about a war."

Reluctantly, Max released his wife and got out of bed. They dressed themselves and Nikki was just finishing up her hair when Lucy came back.

"Breakfast is served downstairs. Her Majesty says the three of you have something to discuss beyond the possible war."

"Oh, God, what is it?" Max groaned.

"I dunno, Your Highness."

As they had for the past couple days, Max and Nikki headed down to the dining room, where they found Queen Candy waiting for them. She had her little scribe by her side—a solidly-built girl with shoulder-length brown hair and glasses that partially obscured her green eyes. Kami—that was her name.

"What did you need to talk to us about?" Nikki asked her mother as they sat down to eat.

"Well, it's about your weddin'."

"What about it?"

"The kingdom was all excited for a royal weddin', and it's a shame they didn't get to see it, so I was thinkin' that maybe the two of you could… get married again?"

"I'm not opposed to that," Max stated with a shrug. "It means people who weren't able to be there last time can be there this time." Nikki nodded in agreement.

"And this time, it won't end with a manhunt or me jumping out a window," the princess giggled.

"Great! Oh, this'll be wonderful!" Candy clapped her hands. "A proper weddin' for my baby!"

"Who's having a baby," Nikki added.

"Oh, gosh! I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandmother… I'm too young!"

"Hey, if it makes you feel better, Gwen's only thirty-two," Max pointed out.

"Hm. Well, until the grandbaby gets here, I have little Lizzie to spoil."

"That's David's job, but you're welcome to."

* * *

The day of the 're-marriage' dawned bright and early, the winter chill still making itself known despite the sunshine. The people who'd attended the wedding the first time attended it the second, with Max suggesting that some of them be absorbed into the military to help strengthen it. The ceremony itself went off without a hitch—no runaway brides or bounty hunters or drunk men stumbling into the middle of the ceremony.

A beautiful occasion, all who attended stated.

Afterwards, a grand reception was held in the castle ballroom. Every guest was happy to see that the princess was married through her own will—twice—and this time with rings! That made it a bit more official in the eyes of those who had doubted the legitimacy of the union in the first place.

However, there was one person in attendance with a chip on his shoulder.

He'd been humiliated by the prince and princess, and wanted to make them both pay.

And with that, Jason crept out of Lilac and towards Woodland.


	15. Peace for Lilac (NOT!)

King Edward hated the kingdom of Lilac.

To him, it was a weak kingdom that got by simply relying on its allies. The worst part was that there wasn't a man in charge. It was just that stupid bitch of a queen and her even stupider bitch of a daughter. The queen had rejected his affections and chosen that idiot William over him. It was why he'd threatened war. Not only that, but her daughter had rejected his son in order to marry a simple peasant.

How insulting!

"Your Majesty?"

He looked up at the sound of his herald's voice.

"There is a man here who claims he can help you take revenge on the kingdom of Lilac."

"Send him in."

The young man had pale brown hair and a look of arrogance.

The king liked him already.

"Speak, fool. Or are you wasting my time?"

"Your Majesty, don't you want to know what their plans are first?"

"I'd love to know. Can you tell me?"

"They've locked up your son in the dungeon for the supposed murder of King William. They're planning to execute him after your visit in three months' time."

"Murder?"

This was news to him. His son had murdered the previous king?

Maybe the princess  _did_  have a good reason for rejecting his son…

"Is there anything else?"

"The harlot princess is pregnant with the peasant's baby. She clearly has terrible taste to choose him over your son."

"Not necessarily—if he killed William, then she has a good reason for rejecting him."

"Your Majesty, this woman must die! She humiliated and rejected m—I mean, your son!" King Edward narrowed his eyes.

"You're intending to use my army for your petty revenge?"

"Never!"

"Get out of my throne room!"

Jason ran out, fuming and planning his next step…

* * *

"How's the baby?"

Nikki sighed at the old woman's question.

It had been three months since her remarriage to Max, and she was now four months pregnant. A very slight bump was visible, but only if you knew to look for it. She loved the look Max got in his eyes every time he touched where their baby was growing—that was the best part of being pregnant. Otherwise, it was constant questions from the nobility about the baby and when it would be born and if they'd picked names yet.

_Goddammit, just let me enjoy being married!_

"Hey, Nik," Max greeted her, coming around the corner. "Neil wants to do a quick checkup. He sent me to get you."

"Oh. Okay!"

"We'll talk later," the old woman stated, walking away.

"Who the fuck was that?" Max asked once she was out of earshot.

"Some great-aunt of my dad's. I swear, I have more family now than I did when I was a child."

"That's how it works, right? Blood relatives come out of the woodwork when you can give them something."

"Sounds about right." She shrugged as they walked towards Neil's lab. "Why does Neil want to give me a checkup?"

"Because he's a nerd and he says that observing your pregnancy might benefit science in the future. He's already taken notes on every little thing that's happened related to the baby." They reached the lab and entered to see that Neil had set up his operating table with a… mattress?

"Oh, hello, you two!" he greeted them.

"What's with the mattress?" Max asked.

"That's for comfort. The old operating table was just plain wood—not good for an expectant mother. With the mattress, Nikki will be more comfortable while I take notes and do the checkup!"

"Sure." Nikki shrugged and climbed up onto the table with Max's help.

"Your belly is growing—that's good. It means you haven't miscarried yet."

"Jesus Christ, can you  _not_  be Captain Worst-Case-Scenario?!" Max groaned.

"Oh, no. Worst case scenario is that Nikki dies during childbirth. It's all too common, even in our modern age with all our advancements." The parents-to-be exchanged fearful and worried looks. "Now, something else I've noticed is that your breast size has increased during this time. I'm not sure about this yet, but I believe it's somehow related to feeding the baby."

"Exactly." Max had an annoyed expression.

"How do  _you_  know?"

"Because, genius, there are a  _lot_  more pregnant women outside the castle than there are inside. That's just the way it fucking works."

"Oh. Sorry. I've just never had the chance to observe a human pregnancy like this before, up close and personal." Max gave him a look that said not to get  _too_  up close and personal or they'd have some issues. "Anyway, based off this old textbook I found in the castle library, Nikki is now in what is called the second stage. She won't give birth until the end of stage three—perhaps a little earlier."

"Great. I already knew all that," Max muttered.

"Hey, I didn't!" Nikki protested. "Let me find out more so we don't end up with a two-headed baby or something!"

"We're not having a two-headed baby."

"Shut up!" she snapped, shocking him into stepping backwards. "Sorry. I've been feeling really pissy for a while."

"Oh, no. I get it. I completely get it. It's a part of this, I guess."

"Let's just try and get through the whole pregnancy without having a major blow-up, okay?"

* * *

Nerris was not the type to outright trust people. Years of running from various kingdoms that wanted her burned at the stake had taught her that. If you trusted the wrong person or people, they'd turn you over in a heartbeat if they thought they could make a quick buck. She had a good intuitiveness about who she'd be able to trust, which had saved her life on a few occasions. Some people were just flat-out untrustworthy, and one of those people was Jason.

She'd known Jason for over a year before he attempted to drug Nikki, and she'd viewed him as something of a sleaze-ball. Always flirting, offering to buy girls who were even  _moderately_  attractive drinks, and acting like he had more money than anybody else. Which, to be fair, was true. It still didn't give him the right to be the way he was.

More than once she'd referred to him as the Cockroach—always hiding, always listening, always causing problems. She actually preferred real cockroaches; at least she could get some use out of them in potions. There was no use in people like Jason. They'd betray you as soon as they helped you. She'd spotted him at Max and Nikki's second wedding and seen him leaving Lilac for Woodland soon after.

_He can't be trusted._

Currently, she was brewing defensive potions in an old area of the castle. They were put into strong bottles that wouldn't break unless thrown with a certain amount of force at a certain angle. Any less and they'd bounce harmlessly into the hands of the enemy.

"Hey, Nerris?"

She turned at the sound of Harrison's voice. He was standing in the doorway.

"What is it, Harrison?"

"I was just wondering… if we're  _really_  going to war soon… could you teach me some defensive magic?"

She bottled and corked a potion.

"I never thought this day would come. I'll be happy to teach you. After all, the queen is putting me on guard duty for the princess because of my abilities. She says I can protect Nikki better than any normal guard!"

"Oh, wow! Really?"

"Yeah. I'll be protecting a princess  _and_  her unborn child!"

"So, uh, the lessons?"

"Right!" She tossed him a book. "Read up."

"Read? But what about awesome spells?"

"Harrison, you have a  _long_  way to go before you reach  _my_  level. It took  _years_  before I was able to do a lot of what I do."

"Aw…"

He still sat down and started reading the book.

* * *

"Presenting His Royal Majesty, King Edward Louis Thomas Pikeman the Third of Woodland!"

Candy stood tall as her enemy entered her throne room. Beside her were her daughter and son-in-law, both presenting the same front she was.

"Queen Candy," the king greeted her, bowing. "I trust you're well?"

"I am, thank you very much. And you?"

"Fine, fine." His gaze landed on Max. "Huh. So  _that's_  the man your daughter chose over my son?"

"Yes. Your talk is with  _me_ , not him."

"Right, right. So, what exactly is my son accused of?"

"Attempted sexual assault, assault, and murder." The king raised his eyebrows.

"I wasn't aware of that."

"He killed my late husband six years ago and tried to force my daughter. Not only that, but he attacked both her and my son-in-law."

King Edward appeared to be thinking it over.

"Please, Edward. Don't make our kingdoms go to war over what I did twenty years ago. It's the people of our kingdoms that would suffer. Let's let bygones be bygones and just have peace." She held out a hand. He accepted and shook it.

"You're right. Old grudges die hard. And I was worried about you having a female heir. Women can't rule alone."

"And she won't. She has Max with her."

Max waved at the king sarcastically and Nikki stifled a giggle.

"Well, then, I guess all that's left to do is draft and sign a peace treaty."

"More like an agreement. The treaty was the cancelled engagement."

"Right, Candy. So, my son will be executed?"

"Unless you say otherwise, yes."

"I want him home. After the news of the cancelled wedding came up, the queen of Flora was  _very interested_  in having my son marry  _her_  daughter."

"Well, that gets him out of our hair, then!"

* * *

The next day, as Queen Candy and King Edward worked out the details of the agreement, Max and Nikki stole away to have some time alone. For them, it was taking a walk in the garden, enjoying the sunshine and the massive variety of rare and exotic plants that grew. Nikki kept one hand on her slightly-swollen belly and the other was linked with Max's hand. It was peaceful, which was rare for them in the hustle and bustle of castle life.

"I loved being out here as a kid," Nikki told him. "This was where Neil and I spent most of our time—just being outside and being kids."

"That's how I spent my childhood after I met David. I was just a kid to him and not a slave or servant."

"It's funny how life works sometimes, right?"

"Like how I ended up the fucking prince of Lilac when all I wanted to do was steal a crown."

"And I ended up happily married with a baby on the way because you wanted to steal my crown. You still want it?"

"Nah. I got the whole princess. That's better than the crown."

"Aw!"

As they walked side by side, they didn't realize that they were being watched from the shadows. They passed a large tree and suddenly somebody darted out in front of them. The person was wearing all black and their face was covered, but they were also holding a knife and looking straight at Nikki.

Quick as a flash, they ran for the pregnant princess and Max stepped between them as a human shield. The knife dug into his back and the assassin, clearly shocked by what had just happened, ran out of the garden.

"Max?!" Nikki shook him.

"You okay?" he asked, gritting his teeth.

"Who cares?! You've got a fucking knife in your back!" She helped him to his feet. "Let's get you to Neil before you bleed to death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!
> 
> I felt like writing sad stuff today. That's probably why the 'Everything Stays' one-shot went up before this did. That one is more emotional, however.
> 
> Also, the chapters are shorter because we're reaching the end. Writer's block is a bitch.
> 
> So long and thanks for all the fish!


	16. The Biggest Threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I start today's chapter, I have some news.
> 
> On the morning of September 6, I was in a car accident on my way to a job interview. I was the only person involved in the accident and luckily, I wasn't hurt. However, my car is in really bad shape. They might be able to fix it, but more than likely, it's totaled. If today's chapter is a little late, that's why. I need to focus on finding a job so I can get another car and pay my parents back for the one I crashed. Not having a car isn't an option right now because I'm in college and I need to be able to get to and from the school. And to top it off, we just replaced my mom's car after my dad hit a deer and totaled the car, so our insurance is not looking good.
> 
> Here's hoping I get a job soon. I have prospects, but I have to reschedule the interview for a later time. They were very understanding about the whole situation and I'm very grateful. Many of you probably don't care about my personal life, but I figured I should let you know that this very scary thing happened to me and I'm okay. This will affect my writing time and the speed of updates as I deal with the effects of the accident. Thank you for understanding.
> 
> Here's today's chapter.

"Neil!"

The alchemist looked up to see Nikki in the doorway, Max slumped over next to her. A knife was sticking out of his back. Neil gasped and helped her put Max on the examination table.

"What the hell happened?!"

"W-we were out in the garden, and this guy attacked us out of nowhere! I didn't see his face because he was wearing a hood."

"Jesus Christ." Neil took a few vials off the shelf, along with some bandages. "Max, I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt. Nikki, I need you to help me get the knife out of his back. Then take off his shirt so I can get at the wound."

Nikki nodded and they gripped the handle. Together, they pulled it out. It shone red with Max's blood, making Nikki feel sick to her stomach as she ripped off his shirt. Neil uncorked one of the vials and poured its contents on the wound. Max hissed in pain as Neil poured one of the remaining vials on top of it.

"Nikki, get me a rag."

"Right!" She handed him the cloth and he dabbed at the liquid, cleaning away the blood before bandaging the wound.

"God, that hurts!" Max complained as he sat up. Nikki hugged him tightly, tears running down her face. "Nik!"

"Who did this?" Neil asked.

"It was some guy dressed all in black and wearing a hood. We couldn't see his face, but he wasn't after me. He was after Nikki. I just got in the way and took the hit." Max touched the bandages, a worried expression on his face. "Who the fuck would want to hurt her anyway?"

"Well, let's run down the list of possible candidates. First, there's Prince Edward, but he's in prison."

"Cross his dad off the list, too," Nikki added, tossing the bloody rag into the trash can. "We're at peace with Woodland now."

"Then there's the Children of Zeemug, but they can't leave the forest," Max stated. "And there's no way Captain Baker is holding a grudge." Neil tapped his chin, then his eyes widened.

"Wait, what about that guy we met in Sleepy Peak right after Nikki ran away from her wedding? The one that both of you punched after he drugged Nikki's drink?" Max's eyes narrowed.

"Son of a  _bitch_. Jason."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about him," Nikki stated with a shrug.

"To be honest, I did, too. He wasn't that memorable." Max slid off the table. "But if he's the one who went after you, then he's dangerous and a fucking psychopath. As long as he's out there, you're not safe."

"Does that mean more guards?"

"I think Nerris and Harrison will be more than enough. Magic is stronger than weapons."

"Thank God." She hugged him again.

"In the meantime, let's keep this on the down-low. We don't need our parents freaking out; otherwise, you'll have a dozen guards breathing down your neck at all times."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Yeah, side note: Neil, that shit hurt like a bitch!"

"It's the best way to keep it from getting infected and killing you!" Max rolled his eyes.

"Can I have the knife?" Nikki asked.

"I'd like to clean it first," Neil insisted. "Unless you  _want_  a knife covered in your husband's blood?"

"Nah. I just want the knife in case something happens. I can defend myself with it."

"We know you can; we just… we don't want a repeat of what happened with Rosemary." Nikki nodded in understanding.

"I know, but if it's to protect myself and the baby, I think I can handle it."

"Let's just hope you don't have to use it," Max stated. Neil used a bottle of something to clean the blood off the knife, then wrapped it in cloth before handing it to Nikki.

"Let's also hope she doesn't have to kill anybody."

* * *

Jason balled his fist as he leaned against a wall in town, his mask off to allow him to breathe. He'd gotten Max instead of Nikki. Damn. And now they'd be on high alert for anybody suspicious within the castle walls. He wouldn't be able to get back in easily or be able to get close enough to get a good shot at the princess. Max could live or die for all he cared, but it was the bitch of a princess that he wanted dead.

_Her and that baby. That's what she gets for rejecting me._

What could he do now? There wasn't a way for him to get back in.

Unless, of course, he used a major event to sneak in like he had for the wedding. Or maybe if he waited for the alert from his attack to go down, he'd be able to get back in.

_Yeah. That'll work._

_Watch your backs…_

* * *

"…and then, we'll announce the name of the baby."

Nikki groaned as the herald rattled off the plans for presenting her baby to the kingdom.

It had been four months since Jason's attack, and in that time her belly had swelled with the baby's growth. Everyone was excited for the royal birth—especially those who wanted a male heir. Nikki and Max had insisted that they didn't care what gender the baby was as long as it was healthy. That did not sit well with the nobility, most of whom were shown the door once they made it clear that they loathed the idea of having a new princess over a prince.

"Can't we just have a simple ceremony instead of all this fanfare?" she asked.

"Your Highness, this is a  _royal baby_. You honestly think we're not going to make a big deal out of this?"

"I want to  _enjoy_  being a mother and not terrify my baby before they're even two months old!"

"Fine. Let your child be unknown and not remembered!" The herald left her alone, letting out an offended huff as he exited the room. Max glanced at the man as he entered.

"Let me guess—he wants there to be a big fanfare?"

"Yep." Nikki rested a hand on her enormous belly. "I can't wait until the baby gets here. Maybe I'll stop feeling like I'm going to pop any minute. I'm rounder than a melon."

"But you're still you. That's all that matters."

"Thanks." They hugged, which was difficult given Nikki's current condition. "I'm heading to our room. I need some sleep."

"Sorry you're so miserable."

"It'll be worth it when the baby arrives." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and he followed her out. "Do you _have_  to follow me?"

"Neil said you could give birth any day now. I don't want to miss it."

"And you're not  _going to_. I promise." She squeezed his arm. "You need to relax."

"Childbirth is the number-one cause of death for women."

"Max, stop listening to Neil's statistics. They're going to make you more worried than anything else."

"Fine. I'll see you later. Have a good nap."

Nikki smiled and headed to the room she and Max shared, her bare feet cooled by the stone beneath them. She'd stopped wearing shoes when her belly had expanded to the point where she couldn't see her feet. Her choice had been met with disdain from her mother and approval from Gwen and Max. But the young mother-to-be didn't care what her mother thought. All that mattered was that she was ready for the baby.

She entered the room and lied down on the bed, making herself comfortable. Her hand went under her pillow and touched a wrapped object, which she pulled out to look at. It was the knife she'd gotten from Neil, still in the rag she'd wrapped it in. She decided to keep it where it was, just in case.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in her belly. She hissed and held the spot, thinking the baby was just kicking. It subsided quickly and she breathed a sigh of relief as she laid back down.

It was then that she realized she wasn't alone.

"I know you're here!" she declared, pulling her knife out from under her pillow. "Come on out and I might go easy on you."

"You can't fight as you are, you stupid whore." Jason stepped out from behind the curtain, a dagger in his hand.

"Why do you want to kill me so badly?"

"Because nobody rejects me and gets away with it!" She gave him an odd look as another wave of pain washed over her. He rushed towards her and she unwrapped the knife, kicking him in the abdomen to give her a moment to stand up.

"Seriously! You're trying to fight a pregnant woman! What kind of sick fuck are you?!"

"I'm not sick! You just don't have taste!" He rushed for her again, and she dodged him in the nick of time. Just as quickly, she whirled around and drove the knife into his side. His dagger nicked her arm as he froze solid. She looked over to see Nerris in the doorway, looking panicked.

"Nikki!" the sorceress gasped, running over. "Are you okay?"

"He nicked my arm. I think I got him worse."

"Yeah, you did."

The pain returned and bloomed across her belly once again and she gripped the spot.

It was then that she realized exactly what was going on.

"Nerris… I think it's time."

"Are you sure?!"

"Why else would I be having pain like this?! Get Max and Neil!"

It was time to welcome a prince or princess to the world.


	17. Finale and Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we reach the finale. This is both the final official chapter and the epilogue.
> 
> An author's note will be up within an hour.

Max knew he shouldn't have left Nikki alone.

Within half an hour of his wife going into their bedchamber to rest, Harrison was rushing to him with a wide-eyed, terrified look, saying that Jason had found his way into the castle and attacked Nikki. She was fine, but apparently, the encounter had sent her into labor early. Max rushed for his bedroom, where he found Jason encased in ice in the corner while Nerris was kneeling by Nikki. Nikki was panting, gripping her belly as spasm after spasm of pain rolled through her lower body.

"Nikki!" he yelped, running for her and gripping her hand.

"Max…" she whimpered weakly. It was then he noticed she had blood on her arm from a small cut. Apparently, Jason had sliced her arm before he was frozen.

"I'm going to get Neil!" Nerris reported, running out of the room.

"How badly did he hurt you?" Max asked. Nikki let out a scream of pain as another contraction shot through her body.

"Not as badly as this!" she screeched. " _You_  did this to me!"

"You can do this," he encouraged, knowing she was just talking through the pain. It killed him to know that she was in this position because of him, but he knew that it would all be worth it once their son or daughter arrived.

"I'm here!" Neil called, running over to the bed. "Nikki, the baby's ready to be born!"

"No shit, Neil!" she snapped, fury glowing in her magenta eyes.

"No, I mean you need to push!"

Nikki screamed.

"Seriously! This is the only way to get the baby out!"

Nikki gripped Max's hand even tighter than before, Nerris and Lucy rushing in a minute later to provide assistance. Lucy prepared a blanket for the royal baby while Nerris let Nikki grip her hand so there was balance.

"On the count of three! One… two… three…  _push!_ "

Nikki let out a heart-rending scream as she pushed, tears streaming down her face. Max could no longer feel his hand, but that didn't matter. The baby hadn't been born yet.

"Again! One… two… three!"

Max squeezed his eyes shut in fear before there was a loud hiccupping and a baby's cry.

It was over.

"It's a girl!" Neil announced.

"Nikki, you did it!" Max cheered, looking down at his wife. She looked exhausted, but happy.

"Yeah…  _we_  did."

"I didn't do anything. That was all you."

She smiled and gave him a hug as Lucy handed them the baby.

Their little girl was red-faced and wrinkly, screaming at the fact that she was now in the big bad world instead of her mother's belly. Neither of the new parents cared; their baby was the most perfect thing either of them had ever seen.

"Congratulations, you two," Neil sighed. "I'm going to get some hot water so we can clean the blood up and let the queen know her grandchild has arrived."

Lucy and Nerris followed him, Nerris levitating the frozen Jason along behind her so that the little family could be alone.

"If you had told me a year ago that all this was going to happen, I wouldn't have believed you," Max commented, sitting down next to Nikki. "In fact, I would've said that you were insane and there was no way I'd fall for a princess."

"And I'd have said, 'Oh, really? Is the thief hot, at least?' " Her husband laughed as their little girl settled into her mother's arms. He wrapped her in the blanket Lucy had left behind, making sure she was plenty warm.

A picture-perfect ending to a trying day.

* * *

"…and so, Jason, for the crimes of attempted rape, assault, and attempted murder, you are condemned to hang!"

Jason bowed his head at the queen's sentencing. He glanced up at the princess, who was holding her newborn daughter, and her husband, who was standing by her side.

"I regret not succeeding," Jason laughed. "They deserved every bit of it."

He was escorted out of the courtroom, where he was met by Nerris the Cute and her now-husband, Harrison the Inferno. He snarled at Nerris.

"And I wish I'd taken care of  _you_  years ago."

"You could've tried, but the result would've been the same," she replied, a blank expression on her face.

Jason was hung at dawn the next day, the prince and princess glad to see their greatest enemy now gone.

Nerris and Harrison became the royal sorcerers, helping to protect the realm from invasion.

Neil remained the royal alchemist, though his greatest pride was when little Lizzie began to follow in his footsteps.

David was the official court musician, his music offering great joy to visitors from all over the world.

Gwen was content to be the mother of the king, taking a spot as an advisor as well.

Prince Edward of Woodland married Princess Sasha of Flora, a much better match for him.

Captain Baker retired to the country with his wife, his stepson Joseph taking on the role of captain of the guard.

Lucy fell in love again and married, leaving the castle to become a mother.

And as for our royal couple, tragedy befell them when Queen Candy died a few years later, shortly after the birth of their son. However, King Max and Queen Nikki picked up the pieces, ruling their kingdom in peace with their two children, Lovetta and Oliver.

And that is the end of our tale, my friends. How was that, Master Hendrickson?

_I will admit, dear Kami, that you have quite a bit of skill in storytelling. Perhaps it's time for me to step down as the royal storyteller._

I wasn't trying to make you step down…

_Oh, but this was your test. You've passed, so you're no longer just an apprentice._

Thank you, master. I'll make you proud.

_But you're missing a line, dear girl._

Right. Sorry.

And they all lived happily ever after.


	18. Final Author's Note

Hello again!

As promised, this is the long author's note to wrap up the entire story. For those of you who don't pay attention to author's notes, this is going to update you on what's been happening that's made it difficult for me to complete this story.

First of all, I got into a car accident on September 6, 2018. I mentioned this at the beginning of chapter sixteen, but this is for all of you who ignored it and those of you who sent me kind messages of support. I wasn't hurt in the accident, but my car is a different story. An update on the situation: my car is totaled and I'm currently without a vehicle. I need to find a job to both pay the ticket from the accident and try to get a new car. Also, I'm walking home from school a lot now, so that's another thing that cuts into my writing time.

Secondly, I got major writer's block on the final chapter before I could start it, so that's why it's taken a while for it to be uploaded. I also started a new story titled  _Parenthood_ , which you can find on both sites. This one's more of a family drama centered around Max, Nikki, and their daughter, Lovetta, as well as unfortunate implications of abuse and teen pregnancy. And speaking of family drama, you should also take a look at my one-shot,  _Everything Stays_. It's an emotional story that I wrote as a tribute to last week's  _Adventure Time_  series finale as well as just a Makki drama.

Other updates on my life include a  _major hurricane headed in the direction of my state_. You might not have heard about it, but it's called Hurricane Florence. While I'm lucky enough to not live on the coast, I do live about three hours inland where we'll get a decent amount of rain and flash-flooding. They actually cancelled class at my college on Tuesday, and they're cancelling Friday, too, due to the whole flash-flood thing. A lot of people drive from home to attend school—myself included before my accident—and they want us to stay off the roads for safety reasons.

Wow, this has turned out to be a  _lot_  of personal updates rather than story stuff. Whoops.

So, onto story stuff.

As I stated, this story was inspired by Matt Groening's  _Disenchantment_  series on Netflix. Well, actually, it's what inspired me to write the story in the first place. Specifically, the whole story sparked from me watching the first episode and getting an image of a Princess Nikki wrapping her veil around her hand on her wedding day, punching out a stained-glass window, and jumping out of it into the waiting arms of Max the thief. Seriously. That's what this  _entire_  story stemmed from.

This is probably my most popular story so far, other than  _Camp Camp: Counselor Max_. I'm proud that I've completed this story, and this isn't the first one I've completed thus far. However, this  _is_  the first one I've inserted myself into—however minorly that might've been. I'm happy that I've been fortunate enough to have so many people read my story and enjoy it. You've all been so nice to me, and so patient waiting for chapters to come out. *tears forming* God, I'm so emotional. Come here, guys!

*opens arms*

Let's make a massive internet group hug! It's the least I can do to thank you all for reading my story and sticking around this long!

So long and thanks for all the fish!


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